children vs parents

This is the first day of the 2 wks school holidays. surprisingly Joe did not go to school. I had a quarrel with him yesterday night over the boys' bahviour. He told the boys to go and take a bath before 6pm or they would not have any dinner. In the end he went out to get dinner and when he came back, I had managed to get the boys to bathe. Boys wach took a plate and get the food and Joe scolded them up side down. Well! The boys deserved scolding but forfeiting them of their food? I was angry with the way he handled the boys so I went into my room. I did not take dinner but somehow okay wtih that as I had some snacks when I reached home. Silly to be so worked up over a small matter.

In the middle of the night, Channery cried out for us again. I went over to check and she was crying that she had wetted herself. Joe or whoever put her to bed had forgotten to let her wear her diaper to bed. I checked everywherebut did not really find the wet patch. Changed her and told her to get back to bed.

Yesterday we went to a national park. The weather was still rather cold but we allowed the kids to play in the river. They came up shivering and cold but they really happy. A little outdoor is good for everyone but coming back and seeing the way the boys behave at home put a damper to everything positive.

these two days I was really unhappy as I received an email from my elder sis saying that my parents were asked to leave my brother's house and go to stay elsewhere as they wanted to rent the whole unit out. They said they are going to move back to my sis in law's parents' house. My sis in law was unhappy with my parents and that is an excuse to get rid of them I think. My parents were unhappy and sad as they still want to stay with sons. i wonder what will happen by imposing on my youngest brother. Will his wife treat my parents likewise? Actually when we decided to come over, I also told my mum in law that we needed to rent the whole unit out so she must move back to Toa Payoh. Told Joe that it was the same tactic that I used and Joe said there is a difference as motive is different. We really are in need of money so we have no choice but to do so. Furthermore, his mum has a flat but my parents are homeless and must go stay with someone else. I think I really owe my mum in law an apology. After staying here for so long, I realized that money is not that important. Being alive, healthy, a roof over our heads and having your loved ones around you is good enough.

Well! there is a chinese proverb: ren2 zai4 zuo4, tian1 zai4 kan4. MEaning that whatever you do, be it right or wrong, do not think that nobody knows as somehow there is supernatural power that all things might be recorded. It's never between you and others, it's between you and God.

Always think of others and whether u yourself will like to be treated that way.

What's going on lately

I can't believe that I have not been updating my blog for so long. My last entry was Monday. Monday night Charlynn cried secretly in bed as she said she missed her puppy. She had already become so attached to the dog even though it was only 3 days. She did not feel it till late at night and she had time to wind down. Actually being softhearted is good la so we did not scold her.

On tuesday Chantz's thigh was painful. He said that his friend accidentally hit him on the leg. He hopped into my room and I quickly took out the die1 da3 yao4 jiu3 to rub on the affected area. Miraculously he said his leg felt so much better the next day. He needed the extra tender Loving care so I must give him la. BTw Chantz finally had a Chess award and he was really proud of himself. He was so happy as it was in fact his very first award from school. His form teacher is quite stingy with awards and never really given any award to his classmates as well. We were really happy for him as he always tries his best but sometimes his effort does not render the same results he wanted.

On Wednesday we watched Wall.E. It was fun and really set me thinking. Human beings can be so terrible and what if there really a day when our mother earth cannot sustain us again. Do we have the option to go and stay in outer space? Scary that our future generations might not see this beautiful world again.

On thursday boys stayed in the garden for a very long time and missed their dinner. Joe refused to give them rice and they only had leftover pasta. Serve them right for ignoring our advice.

Anyway these few days I am catching the Hongkong soap operas "jia1 hao3 yue4 yuan2". The cantonese dialogue was really interesting. Actually Joe and I can understand their meanings but cannot speak well. Joe learnt the language as that is his ethnic group and his elders speak the language. As for me, I learnt the language by watching shows on TV. Funny but I somehow picked it up by myself. Now only at disk 4 and I have 14 disks so still have a long way to go. I only managed to see a disk a day.

Wondered how hong getting on. she had not been emailing me. Old pal if you are busy don't worry as I am rather happy here lately. If you need someone to hear your woes, remember to write ho. Working life is always stressful I know.

Life with a pup

These two days I was not feeling well. I think it's cold or allergy. I hope i will recover soon. On saturday children went to their Chinese class and they came back with their Chinese tests. Boys actually came in 3rd and 4th in class scoring 92 and 90 each. They felt really proud of themselves. I hope they will continue to work hard and love the language. Charlynn did very well. She scored 96 and teacher even gave her 3 chocolates. She is a very sensible girl so I do not have to worry about her. Any homework will be done properly and she sets her own standard. In fact these 2 days she was taking such good care of the puppy that the puppy followed her everywhere she went. She has been helping me to take care of Channery so looking after puppy is chicken feet.

Speaking of puppy, we had sent it to the animal hospital as instructed by the town council. The puppy is a maltese and it is a well trained pup. the children had a lot of fun playing and interacting with the pup. On sunday, Joe brought the kids to the park with puppy and it even took JOE and Charlynn around the neighbourhood. It likes to have its tummy tickled and to be rubbed on the head. Channery became the big sister to the puppy and she was well occupied for the 2 days. Today we drove to the hospital and the lady said that there was a microchip in the puppy so it belonged to someone. Told JOE if no microchip, I would like to adopt the puppy. The lady said that if the owner did not show up to claim the dog in 2 weeks, they will sell the puppy. Actually I really like the puppy as it always come to me for tummy tickle. Kinda feel sad to say goodbye to it and i felt so emotional just now when saying goodbye. I told the kids they were not supposed to cry but I was the one crying and feeling sad. Anyway if the owners heard that their pet was found, they might shed tears of joy as well. Come to think of it, I am happy to let the pup go. Told kids that it's like Channery got lost from family and we will be so happy to have her back.

Okay that's all. Will see whether the puppy and us are fated to be a family in 2 wk time.

A kind deed

Yesterday I helped the boys to finish their Chinese homework by copying out the chinese characters they need to write. They had a lot of complaints as the teacher had given them a lot of writing since they will have a test this Saturday. They finished their work and could go for ice skating. I was feeling really relieved that they were not penalised of the opportunity to exercise. I cooked western food for dinner and we had a rather late dinner. children stayed up late to catch "Ghost Whisperer" till eleven plus. We like the show and I hope the kids will learn the good things about the show. Maybe they will be scared of the supernatural things but every episode has something to offer and I will be there to explain so I hope they are not adversly affected.

This morning I decided to bring Channery to the library after dropping the kids so we went Shopping at Big W first since library opens at 10am. There was an offer for red T shirt so I bought 2 for the kids. After that we went to the library. At about 10.30am, we were both surprised to see that they were having a storytelling session for toddlers. Channery and I had a lot of fun singing the nursery rhymes and playing games. We went to Aldi afterwards as I think it will

We came back at 12 plus and I quickly prepared lunch for the two of us. After that I cleaned up the house and at about 2 plus we went out to fetch the boys. Along the way we saw a little puppy running wild on the road. It was nearly ran over by cars. I followed the puppy around the neighbourhood and stopped a few times trying to get it to come to me. It refused and walked on. In the end, I decided to drive off even though I know it's not advisable as the pup could be killed on the road. The puppy really ran a long way around the neighbourhood. I wondered if it was looking for its owner? After reaching the school, there was no parking lot. I thought of the poor little pup and decided to go look for it again. i found it running along the road and I stopped the car. It was still very scared of me so it ran off again. I decided to give chase and managed to catch up with it. It sat on the floor and even urinated. I squat down and pat it and it lowered its head to be fondle. I then carried the little pup and sent it home. I left a dish of milk and left it in the bathroom before I went out to fetch the children. Told Joe and children what happened and Joe said we must send it away first thing on Monday.

while the kids had their lesson, we went to buy some dog food for the little pup. After lesson kids could not wait to come back so we drove into KFC and bought a famiy feast. When the kids saw the dog, they were really excited. the dog had finished drinking the milk I left behind and put some dog food on the tray. It was so hungry that it finished in no time and come jumping up and down for more. I gave it another time and it finished in no time too. Wondered if it was hungry for a long time? Kids finished their food and then they played with the dog in the backyard. They had a lot of fun and enjoyed the company of the pup. It is really a wel trained dog so it must have belonged to someone.

Well! I am thiking of bathing the pup so must go google to find out how to bathe it.

Today is present - a gift to treasure

Just finished watching the"Kungfu Panda" with Channery. It was actually nice to rewatch the shows. I like the scene whereby the Wugui Master told Po the panda"
Yesterday was history, tomorrow is mystery and today is a gift' As it is present. True that we should never look back on whatever decision we made in the past. What past is over, tomorrow we won't really know but we should make the best for today. Everyday is a gift. How many tomorrows do we have? our tomorrows depends on our present. Are we doing what's best for today?

Po the Panda was condemned by his shifu as he appeared to be useless and never make it as Kungfu warrior. Using his old methods of training his disciplines just won;t work on Po. When he had a change of opinion on Po, he started to use a method that works well with Po -using food and that works. Scolding and using the usual ways will never derive any result. Everyone is different and we must develop every child the best he or she could be. I remembered what a couple in USA once commented when a reporter asked them how do they raise 3 gifted kids? The couple replied that they did what they thought is best for their kids. The eldest and second children like Maths and Science so he was given the opportunity to pursue their interest and do whatever they like. The third child loves music and loves playing the piano so she was allowed to go that direction. Their children are like any other children in their neighbourhood.

Yesterday before I rested, I told Joe that we have missed the boys' growing years and we are fortunate to be here for Channery. Channery is growing up so fast and learning so many things that everyday is a wonder. She can now put words in songs and sing to her hearts content. Creative as she can sing the same tune with different words in it. Just now I pretended to be asleep and she beat her drum trying to wake me up. When Joe was sick she went to fetch water for him. Everyday she has different ways of expressing herself.

Come to think of it, Charlynn had me for nearly 2 years when she was young but the boys were really like refuges. We could not remember what happened when they were young. Maria was the one taking care of them. I was doing my Master degree and doing grassroot work and never really know what was happening at home. My ex-maid was so capable that I do not have time to ponder anything wrong in mylife. Time waits for no man so we have to make the best of what we have got.

Like in life saving course, to save others, you must save yourself first. If you do not love yourself, nobody will love you.

Rainbow

The one thing I like about sydney most is being able to witness rainbow after rain. I had seen at least 5 rainbows since I arrived here. In singapore I never catch any rainbow as the buildings are too high. Here we always get really excited when we see a rainbow. The people here like one or two storey houses and so they have more chances to see what nature has to offer. will have to find some time to download the pictures we have taken here in Sydney.

Life is beautiful when u are in tune with nature.

Been busy

These few days i have not been writing my blog as Joe was not feeling well and I had been busy. He probably caught stomach flu. He is now feeling better and able to scold the kids already. When he was sick, he was too weak to discipline them and the kids were very well-mannered. They tried to keep their volume down when playing.

On thursday I went to buy mooncake for him as he was supposed to bring to office on Friday. He and another colleague had volunteered to share the mooncakes with their non-chinese colleagues. In the end, I bought 2 boxes as kids were saying they wanted to eat too. Joe said no egg yolks for his colleagues and the one we had had one yolk inside. The mooncakes were really delicious. Made in Hongkong and they were not really sweet. 2 boxes cost us $28 so it's really not expensive. In singapore, 2 boxes would probably cost us $50.

On Friday I sent Joe to his office and then we came back home. After fetching kids from school, we went to Art lesson. Marrickville was near Joe's office so we went there to see whether the left overs were kept probably. To Joe's surprise, there were no more left and the knife was left unwash with the empty box. See! All over the world there are uncivilised people who never know what is consideration means.

After Art lesson, we went to a new Korean restaurant for dinner. we had eel rice, pork chop with fries, stonebowl vegetable rice and dumplings. I find the food here not as tasty as the Korean restaurant at Woolworths. The meal cost us $57 and that is considered quite cheap la.

On Saturday, the day was really warm. We spent the day at home. Children played in the backyard till lunch time. After lunch, they went for their Chinese lesson for 3 hrs in the afternoon. I told them I would cook special dinner for them so before we fetched them, we went to woolworths to buy the ingredients. We were going to have western food so we bought potatoes, steak and other stuff. I sent the children to the park with Joe and rushed back to cook dinner. children enjoyed the dinner very much and we still have some leftovers.

This morning I cooked pies with the leftovers. i put beef chunks, mixed vegetables, mashed potaotes and mushroom in the pies. The outcome is really nice. The pie machine is well -used at home and kids love having pies.

After lunch,we decided to go out to the National PArk but before we could get there, it started to rain cats and dogs. We made a detour and went to Ikea instead. We had meals there and bought a few items. I bought the meatballs back and so we had meatballs with baked rice for dinner. Now feeling rather tired after all the walking.

Okay that's all for today now wanna go rest already.

Life's challenging with Son like this

Last night Charles threw a tantrum again. He said he could not do chinese homework and he simply could not do it. We really had a tough time coping with his negativity. He screamed and shouted and even refused to take his dinner. He said we ruined his life by asking him to study Chinese Language and he said we do not love him. I told him "God helps those who help themselves" and if he does not help himself by trying, there is no way we could help him. He was displaying "learner helplessness" symptoms whereby people will stop trying even though they have the capabilities to do so. For example, a dog which was zapped by electric currents when it try to cross a line will not cross the line even though the electric current was switched off. They had learned through negative reinforcement that they would meet with obstacles and they stop trying.

Later in the night at 8 plus, I fried an egg and heated up the leftover rice for the boys as they did not take Hokkien noodles at 6 plus. Told them not to eat so many garlic bread when they came back from school but they refused to listen. Dinner time and they could not eat. Joe said to ration their bread? wondered how he would keep track? Will try to cooperate with Joe so that the chidren know that we work together as a team in disciplining them.

At about 9pm, charles came into the kitchen and asked if I could cut him an orange. He then told me that he got a F grade for one of the assignment for chinese Language. He was not taught and he felt terrible. He said he could understand and does his English work but simply could not do well in Chinese language. I told him not to give up he could do well if he does not give up. If he is good in English language, he can do well for chinese as well. Hope he will have more success in the chinese language, Maybe to tution him myself so that they will feel more confident. He is simply too smart for his age. He knows what he does well and what he doesn't. Well! According to the IQ tests done by DAS, both my sons have high IQ. I think it's essential we help them to overcome this fear for chinese language so that they can take flight in their lives.

Boys- can't stand them

Last Sunday we decided to go for a picnic near our house as the boys were still not feeling well. We packed some salad and brought some water along. Just when we were about to leave, the boys played with their rubber bouncing ball and broke the window pane. They had broken also the big glass pane on top of the window. We would have to inform the owner and asked him to come and repair the broken glass. Joe was extremely angry with the boys as he had warned them not to play at the patio but they ignored him and turned a deaf ear to his warnings. The boys received a scolding and we did not do anything drastic. Somehow they will have to pay back with no more outside food. The whole family will have to save up the amount spent on the repair.

After that, we went out to buy subway sandwiches as lunch and went to the park in Ashbury. After about 2 hours of fun at the park, we decided to go shopping at Aldi. Just when we were about to get into the car, Charles said he had soiled his pants. He was not feeling well so we did not scold him and we came back.

Sunday night we did not go out to celebrate Father's day as children were not behaving well. We told them to hurry up and get ready but they simply bochap. Ended up we stayed at home and eat instant noodles with mixed vegetables. Joe was feeling really upset with the boys. They simply very immature and always get into trouble. Charlynn made Father's day card for Joe but the boys did nothing. I bought 2 camping chairs for Joe so that we could sit and relax at the backyard.

Yesterday I woke up late and by the time the children got out of bed, it was already 8.30am. We rushed through with breakfast and rushed to school. Charlynn said she managed to order lunch before the bell rang. Channery and I went shopping and bought a lot of foodstuff. We also bought a cap from Salvos for Joe as Channery had lost his cap. The new cap cost only $1 and it is really quite nice. when we reached home, I quickly cleaned up the house. I was afraid the owner would come and see what a mess the house is in. Ended up Joe did not managed to contact the agent. The house as usual become rather messy after a while when they came back after school. So much so for cleaning up. Joe brought the kids to the park and I tagged along as I only wanted to cook Sphgetti for dinner. When we reached there, a boy was playing with his father and they asked if they could join the twins, the boys refused to play with them. What a letdown and we really felt very embarrassed by their behaviour. We could not understand why they are so selfish and self-centred. Since they refused to play with others, we could not do anything except giving them a lecture.

With boys behaving like this, we know they will have a hard time in life when they grow up. Well! We cannot be there for them forever, if they will experience life the hard way, so be it. We will not depend on them nor they receive any help from us. who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Yesterday Chantz did not go to school as he was feeling unwell. he has headache and could not eat. He ended up vomitting all the food he eaten and I had to clean up after him. when Joe came back to get the car, he insisted on going to the Art lesson. We told him he must get well soon if not he might pass the germs to his siblings. They had canvas Art and they really enjoyed themselves very much at Jane's place.

After Art lesson, we went to a Korean Restaurant for dinner. We had mushroom pot, BBQ beef, rice and vegetable pancake. The meal cost us $60 and it was quite nice. Charles was sick at night and threw up. Joe cleaned up for him as I was very tired. I heard the commotion but was too tired to get up. This morning I realized Channery had wetted her bed and Joe suddenly realized that he had forgotten to wear a diaper for her the night before. Channery did not wake us up. Instead she woke up and just changed her pants. After that she left her pants on the heater.

Charles seems to feign illness now as he did not want to go for Chinese lesson. He said he is still not feeling well feeling dizzy and weak. Well! we gonna trust him and give him the benefit of doubt.

This morning i cooked pancakes for the kids and tonight we will have bah Ku Teh. I think children not feeling well as the weather had turned cold. It has been raining since the night before. They always do not wear warmly and only themselves to blame for falling sick.

IELTS results and boys' education

Yesterday I received the IELTs result. I ended up getting quite good results. For listening which I was really confident, I only had 7.5 pts. I was saying the reading test was difficult in my previous blog and I probably did not do well but ended up I scored 8.5/9. As for the writing test, I was really not confident after the reading test, I did not think I write legibly for writing test but I had 7 pts. The oral test i scored 7 pts even though I thought I was not speaking to question asked. I was already so tired that I just wanna get over it. The Average scores for the students for Academic testing was 5-6 pts and I actually could pull through with a 7.5 pts. No bad since i was really dog tired after the test and really not look forward for another test. Joe was most delighted as he can now proceed to apply for my PR. Now that I have endured the cold winter and weather has turned warm again, I am actually quite happy to be in this country. Now I bring Channery to the park every morning and we always have good fun chasing after the birdies. Today we even lie down on the grass and check the passing clouds. Maybe I am feeling very happy so thinks the whole world is smiling with me.

Yesterday night the boys were not very happy as they were under pressured to finish their homework. We have been telling them to do their homework since Monday but they kept putting them off. Charlynn finished hers on Monday and she was relaxed and happy. Chantz ended up hving tension headache and had to go to sleep early and Charles had a nervous breakdown and got into tantrum throwing. Joe kept harping they had only themselves to blame and they ought to bear the consequences. Chantz woke up early today to finish his Chinese homework due today but could not finish. I helped him by holding his hand and completed the work on time. Told him he had to pay back by writing the words again this weekend. As parents we should guide them and sometimes being hardhearted is essential. Now I put channery to bed by scratching her tummy 20 times only and kiss her goodnite. No more staying in bed with her and getting angry. So far it works for me and she had been cooperative. She woke up in the middle of nite two nites ago and I came over and just do the same. She did not act up and jsut go back to sleep. Well! I am glad things are going better now for me.

This Sunday is Australia's Father's day and wondered how we are going to celebrate with Joe. Children have not mentioned anything and we will wait and see.

Child abuse

These few days there were articles on newspaper on how working mothers are abusing their kids by sending them to childcare centres as young as 6 months old. Many were saying that the working mothers are selfish and wanted to work as they do not want to take up the responsiblity to look after their kids. The others argue that they have no choice as the rising cost of living force them to go out to work. One of the reapons said the parents should rent instead of buying their house. Very funny idea as owning a house for kids future become a bad idea. The rent in Australia has been increasing and if you do the Maths, you will realized it is cheaper to buy in the long run than renting. One lady wrote in to say that they were able to stay at home as they are staying in the church's premises as husband is a minister. They had to budget and choose on what to buy as they rely only on one income.

Many argue they chose to send their kids to school as they will learn social skills and learn from their peers. Home schooling will not be able to be done if parents do not teach their kids. I myself find it hard to teach Channery properly as she seems unable to sit down properly. With peers, children will learn to obey rules and learn from teachers. I am one who think that sending kids to school is a good thing.
Am I killing my kids interestrs and passion for learning? I sent the my 3 elder kids to school really early since they were 18 months. Maybe I shoud do an experiment and only send Channery when she is 4 yrs old. not too early la.

Today I brought Channery to the park and she played catching 2 big dogs. The owner threw the stick and the dogs chased after the stick and brought it back. Channery had a lot of fun and now she is dog tired so she is asleep now.

I think I should do my part to teach my baby. Why leave it to others when I can do it.

Spring finally here

Yesterday Joe was at home as the landlord had arranged for someone to come and do an evaluation of the house. We did a spring cleaning and the whole place was really clean and neat. I took the carpet out but they really need a good shampooing. The surveyor was here only for a while but that was a good excuse for us to clean up the house. Anyway the beautiful house only lasted a few hours as it kinda back to square one when kids were back. At four, we went for ice skating and after that we went to a new restaurant香港小厨 for dinner. We ordered 3 dishes fried mixed vegetables, Tofu and seafood pot and fried crispy chicken. We had a pleasant surprise when they gave us soup of the day. After asking the waitress, we realized it is a complimentary dish. Nice lotus soup and kids enjoyed the food very much. The cost is only $55 and it's not considered expensive since there are 4 big dishes. Channery was so tired that she fell asleep after finishing her food. I ended up carrying her and eating at the same time. When we reached home, kids refused to do homeowork. Joe said no need to nag them as they know the consequences - no ice skating on Thursday. I told Joe I wanna rest early so I left him to put the kids in bed. After a while, channery tried to act out so I had to get up and put her to bed. She is getting very smart in order to get her ways. Well! I am determined to train her to sleep alone and that will be done with an iron hand.

Today Children went to school at 11am as the teachers on strike again. We are fortunate I am not working so can take care of them. For kids whose parents are working, they will be left in school with minimum supervision. Wondered how the teachers here could suka suka go on strike. I prepared Marcoroni and Cheese for them and the boys simply bochap. I had to scream at them to get ready.

After sending them to school, I went to the library with Channery. There were many babies there with their mothers as it is special activity for babies 6-24mths. Ended up reading to Channery in the library. She loves to read so maybe I should bring her to library twice a week when we go shopping. After that, I went shopping and she was getting rather difficult so I ended up scolding her and coming back without buying the things from supermarket.

Now Channery is watching TV as she said she is not sleepy. No nap means she will not be able to sleep early tonite. Now is Spring and I feel so much better now. Winter time and people tend to have negative thoughts as weather cold and tend to coop at home. Plants look nicer now an d I am looking forward to see flowers blooming. Newspaper said The past month August in Australia was the coldest in 64yrs so I am really happy that I had gone through it in one piece.

Okay that's all. need to go fetch kids.