Charles again

Yesterday sent mum to Yishun Hospital A&E since she has been complaining of feeling unwell. WE were worried that she might ahve a mild stroke again like what happened last year. Luckily after all the checks, she is able to come home for further observation. Docs reassured her its her reaction to disbetes medication that she is feeling numbness in her limbs. Adeline came to take over at 11pm and I went to mediacorp to film our lose to win profile. Took only about 2 hrs to film us all. After that came home bout 3 plus trying to catch a wink but can't. Went out at about 6 plus for lose to win group exercise.

Yesterday we had kick boxing. Really quite fun and we sweated a lot. I think I have a problem with my left side. Simply can't coordinate well. After exercising, I went CCMC meeting and came back around 10pm. Charles was still awake and he slept with Channery and me. He seemed to be in a good mood lei.

This morning woke Charles up and he started to act up again. Screaming shouting and throwing things. He even threw his spectacls. Well! I was so mad I gave him a good thrashing as well! He really pushes my buttons nad getting on my nerves. Told him I will concentrate on nurturing the other three kida who are angels and won't feel bad that I am a losuy mum in his eyes as he is a demon kid. Can't stand his sight and all. Well! he even climbed over the ledge and wanting to throw his pants down and such. I know I should not tell him to die but I did anyway. My life will be so much better off without him. Why he is reluctant to go school I think i know why. Today is Mathematics exam and he is incapable of scoring since he has been missing lessons. He said he hated the fact that during exam he has to sit many hours in hi ssat after finishing his test. He is simply finding all sorts of excuses for his incapability.

I was very tempted to call police already but Joe said no. Think he will be sent to boys home or foster parents house. He simply does not fit into this society if he keeps thinking of escaping school. No schooling - no future. I am not going to spents tons on money sending him to international school as I am going to keep the money for the other kids or for our old age.

Many friends told me to have patience with Charles. Well! He is not their son. I can't like what they say to thank Charles of teaching me patience. He is giving me a chance to be a better person maybe but I find I am just so common a person. I am not a saint.

Time waits for no man. When Charles is old enough, he will know that reality is harsh and he better works hard for his future. Because of him, the other kids will have no TV and computer time for the rest of the week.