Would you live like this?

Just finished watching wifeswap USA. One family lives in sheer luxury and waste and the other is so ecoconscious. The rich household's husband only knew how to order the wife around. She was made to slog like a servant in the house. Being the role model for the kids, their kids learn how to manipulate mum as well and never helped out in the household chores. The mum made to clean and cook , even for parties thrown by husband. The household was so wasteful. They have 8 TVs and jacuzzi, swimming pool and such. Not feeling guilty of wasting resouces as they are rich. Sad and family members are very much for themselves.

As for the other family, the husband wore skirts and had no job. They had some money selling things as the flea market. Their philosopy was to waste not and sometimes a bit antisocial. Things that were discarded and could be used, they would keep. They actually picked up discarded vegetables from the local organic shops. They had no modern apliances and everyone helped out in the famiy. They live very simply. However, their lifestyle was not really accepted by the society. People think the couple should work hard for their future.

Interesting to see that we are living in a modern society and people still going back to basics. The rich husband questioned the swap wife the rationale of washing utensils when he had water saving dishwasher. Actually the appliances do use more water I think.

Waste not? I do think we are living in this materialsitic world and everyone of us is guilty of wasting resources. Do you know that leaving the computer on for a whole day everyday will burn a hole in your pocket? Somehow leaving things on standby mode is the most wasteful of all.

Just like creddit card, we are already doing an overdraft of the resources that were meant for our future generations. Scary and who knows what tomorrow will bring?

My dearest family

This photo was taken on Joe's birthday 2 months ago. Chantz said he wanted to have his photo online. Seems like we seldom take photos of the kids. Will do so often so that they can look at themselves when they grow up.

Our rented house

The photo is the picture of our rented place. As for the lemons, the smaller one is bought from market and the big gigantic one is harvested from my backyard. There are two fig trees, a mango tree, a lemon tree and a Mandarin orange plant in my backyard. Now is winter so th fig tree has no leaves. Wonder if they will grow again in spring. The mango,lemon and mandarin orange plant are still going strong and bearing fruit. However, I am not a gardening person so the backyard has a fair share of weeds. Will try to be diligent like my neighbours. Their gardens look always perfect la

Feeling Trapped?

Do I feel trapped here in Sydney? Actually being jobless is quite good. I get to watch TV, read newspaper and having free time for myself. The stress actually come from the fact that I have no control over my growing kids. They are enjoying school here and really doing quite well. Seems like the pace here is slower and not competitive. The children have only complaints of going to Chinese Class on Saturday. They find all ways and means to avoid going to the class. Hate to say this but they really a let down. Joe and I love the language very much. Being Chinese and yet unable to read and write the language is a shame. Try to speak to them in Mandarin and hope that helps.

Back to feeling trapped. Maybe to some extent. Having a Master Degree in Education and yet I am now a homemaker. Using all ways I have learnt to teach my kids and some of the ways simply fail. You will tend to learn from your own family and learn ropes from your parents as they are the role models in your life. Sometimes it's really a struggle to remind myself that you do not want to be a tyrant whereby you only know how to scold and cane.

Yesterday I had a bad dream. For bad dreams, my mum said to say it out and it will not come true. The dream was that I was holding an ash urn of one of my kids. I was grieving and very distraught. No tears as they seemed to flow dry. Can't recall who but it's happening here in Sydney. Scary that I might lose one of them.

Actually the kids are slowly being moulded to be the way I want them to be. They are started to mature and not so much of power struggle. Now I just tell them to go time out in their room for 5 mins or take away their computer time. They only get a caning or a slap if they really get on my nerve.

Everyday life goes on as usual and I enjoy the peace and quiet time without the kids. I realized when I am with the 4 kids, they drive me crazy and I have only negative comments. Right now Channery is sleeping and not bugging me and I feel so much relaxed. Just now she insisted on watching " Barney" and she rubbed the CD on teh floor. She got a harsh scolding from me and she went to her bed. A mix feelings here whereby on one hand I hope she will grow up soon so that she can understand what I was saying and yet on the other hand, can't bear it that she becomes a big girl. I can give her lots of hugs and kisses but can't really do that to the other 3 kids. The boys hate the affections showered on them. As for Charlynn, She has grown so big that I feel awkward hugging and kissing her.

Yesterday Joe came back saying he will be more present. Good that I will have some support. I just need some assurance that i am loved and cherished. Feeling trapped? Not really. I am enjoying life in Australia whereby I don;t have to be stressed out at work. Housework is chicken feet as i have lots of practice since young. The only thing I have no control is the kids' behaviour. Who has control over other people anyway so be it I work or not working, the stress will always be there. At least I thank GOd I have no double stressors like I used to have in Singapore.

Take care of your health to all the parents out there. Our children will grow up one day and I know I will miss them when they leave us. in fact, in my bad dreams I realized how blessed I am to be able to hold them and guide them in their lives. All of them are so precious to me!

What's there in store?

A famous sportsman's wife, Jane Mcgrath, who had been campaigning for breast cancer prevetnion and treatment died yesterday after battling cancer for 11 years. People remember her strengths and her roles as a wonderful wife, mother and a contributing adult. She had cancer 3 times since being diagnosed 11 years ago. Can't help but feeling life can be quite unpredictable. Everyone of us will die one day - be it sooner of later. What's there to look for in life? Seeing your children grow up? What if they grow up and be a nuisance to the society? Seeing your parents gro w old and frail and eventually die? There are so many things in life that are beyond our control. Do we take charge of our life and mae changes to those that you have control over??

Yesterday children complained that I cooked porridge for them again. They complained about the food and that really irritated me. Don't they know I hate to cook too.Cooking and eating and than having to eat the leftovers because my kids won't eat the food really is most discouraging. I know it's not my cooking skills, it's just children love their ideas of food. Fried chicken, burgers etc. These are definitely not healthy for them Food at restaurant - what do they have in their cooking? Who can tell? Maybe like what I say Joe will bring them out for dinner everyday and saved me the hassle of shopping and cooking.

Looking at the house now it's like being ransacked by burglers. If I have to cane them everytime they mess up the place, they will have lots of cane marks on their bodies. Nobody likes people that are messy. Keep telling them to clean up their own mess ahd help out but the kids not able to heed the advice. Joe's indifference in my life is also most annoying. He is happy as it is. Even when I act up and be totally unreasonable, he is as cool as cucumber. Having someone near and yet felt so far apart is not what I want in a life's partner. He is better off without me as I don't even know what is in his mind. He always into his newspaper and reading and I likewise in my TV shows and Books. Will live life this way where we have no interactions and the only thing that is keeping us together is the responsibility of raising our children. That's really some kind of life!

Joe is a good catch actually. He is fianancially sound, a good career, gentle personality, can leave you to do whatever you want, damn patient but a sensitive woman will be easily hurt so you must be a tough cookie. Blood tyoe O+ is good for him. He is unable to handle AB+ as they are just the total opposite k.

Happy and blessed

There was this Aussie news whereby a pair of 18 months old twins starved to death in their cots. Mother was 30 years old and dad 28. The couple has 3 older kids, 5, 4, and 3 yrs old and they were fine. The woman has another girl 11 yrs old and she was the one to realize the twins were dead. Apparently the twins never leave their bed room and the neighbours did not even realized there were 2 babies in the house. The couple has relationship problems and sleep in separate bedrooms. I think the mother is the one having mental illness - either depression or what. one of the twin only weigh 4 kg when found. Guess they really had a painful death.

Sometimes i am also scared that I might lose control of my life. The fact that depression can hit anyone at any point of their lives. Actually i feel that when I was working and taking care of the family I have no control over many things and that made me very depressed.Now staying at home I still feel unhappy but you won't feel out of sorts.

Yesterday I cleaned up the house properly after watching the "Wife Swap" programme on TV. One of them is a control freak and wants things done in the most perfect way and the other one is a total rubbish collector. She even has goats and dogs in her house and she removed all the walls so that her goats and go wonder about in the house. Husband and adult daughter sleeps with goats. The house was really horrible. Daughter behavig like mum and she just ordered her dad around like a personal maid. Even washing all her clothes. The other family dad never laid a finger on housework and have rules that nobody can talk to him after 9pm as everyone gets emotional after that time. Very orderly as the family had 5 kids. If mother saw their drawers in a mess, she tipped out everything and the poor kids had to fold the clothes neaty. House likde out of magazine and very orderly. No pets and no mess. Sometimes watching show can motivate me to have a better life for myself. Interesting show but it prompted me to do a thorough springcleaning. However, when kids were back the house was messy again. That's the frustration. How to stay motivated when the others won't cooperate.

Yesterday I watched the show' Farmer wants a wife". Seems like looks is still the thing for men. When they set their eyes on a particular lady the others just seem to fade in comparison. Well! That was the first episode and more to come next week.

WE had Hokkien noodles yesterday. I decided to fry the noodles and turned out quite nice. Not moist enough as we waited a while and all the juices had been absorded by the noodles.

Will try new receipes when free to surprise the kids. I get really sick of rice and vegetables too.

Yesterday Channery decided to go to the playground after sending her siblings to school. The whole place was wet but she decided to have a go. She was wet through but she had fun. I think I it rained about 6 plus. After we came back, we did the usual routine, watching children's programmes and eating and messing up the place. I told her to put the sofa bed on the floor if she wants to stomp her feet. She had great fun doing that. She even taught her siblings how to jump about without mummy scolding. She is growing up and learning fast. No peace and quiet time sometimes as she always managed to catch me during my breaks from her.

This morning Channery went out early with the family as Charlynn had netball practice. Channery played for a while at the playground outside the school and we rushed back to watch 'Elmo'.

We are going to collect Charles spectacles today. He had been rather guilty and well behaved these two days and no tantrums or outbursts. He had even completed all his homework for the week. He brought back a certificate for Chess again yesterday. His teachers and coaches only have praises for him in school but at home he have been getting negative reinforcement /feedback from us. Wonder why a child could be an angel in school and naughty at home! Problem lies with the interaction and reaction of parents. We just want them to be responsible and caring children.

anyway,maybe having one child is a good option as the kids do not have to vie for attention.

Weekends update

Last Friday we went to the Art lesson and I had my hair cut. Short and easy to managed now. I hate tying up my long hair and my scalp hurt. Love having hair short and tidy. The hair cut cost me $18. Not too expensive i think. After that we decided to buy chicken rice, duck rice and roast pork rice for dinner. The cost for 4 packets of chicken rice and such only cost us the most $20 in Singapore but here we paid $31 for all. Nothing special and definitely not as tasty as in Singapore but that was considered cheap if we were to dine at the restaurant.

Saturday went out to cherrybrooke to meet fellow Singaporeans - the Temasek Club. Joe and the 3 older children were joining them for a 5km walk in the nearby reserve. Channery and I stayed at the shopping centre to shop. We waited from 10am to 1pm. Channery took 5 Hi-5 rides and bought 2 story books. The shopping centre has nothing to offer. It's about 1 level of Northpoint. There were a green grocer, a fish shop, a meat shop, 2 bookshops, 4 boutiques, 2 beauty salons and a few cafes. Many people as people were there doing their groceries shopping. Joe called to say they taking car but did not in the end. When I heard the car was at the carpark all along, I was angry immediately. Imagine me lugging so many things around thu place with Channery? I could have placed the things in the car. When Channery came soen from Stroller, things just fell backwards. Just a simple phone call and Joe just don't bother to inform me. Channery was very difficult to handle while waiting and she kept saying she wanted Joe and the children. Gave Joe a hard time after that as I was really mad at him. We had lunch at a Malaysian restuarant and 2 plates of Chay Kuey, a plate of Beef Rendang and mixed vegetabeles with 2 bowls of rice cost us $60.75. Very expensive and not really that fantastic. Joe did not wait for us to bid goodbye to the other Singaporeans and we were off after going to the toilets. I think the other Singaporeans were going to say I was a "stuck up". Anyway, can't change the fact. I really felt really outcast anyway being a "jobless" person. Nowadays I have only Channery to talk to. No adult talk and I hate being so trapped.

Cooked for dinner and Joe tried to lend a hand only after I was scalded by hot oil. Many a times I feel like a maid doing the chores for the family- no respect from the others at home. Joe would be spending time with kids or in front of computer. I think very little of myself too. If only people can be more helpful at home!!

Sunday we brought Charles to the optometrist. He had onced again damaged his spectacles. We chose the cheap frames but the total cost was $180 and to be collected on Wednesday. Charles' degrees have increased and the kids have very serious astigmatism. I lost my temper and shouted at them in the shops as the kids were running wild. Lunch we had it at home as I told them to save up the amount that Charles had just spent on spectacles we had to stay home for food. No visits to the restaurants for 2 weeks.



Children were late for Chinese lesson. Late for 40 mins but the kids really did not mind as they hate learning the language.

Cutting hair to relieve stress

Yesterday Joe sent children to school early as charlynn had netball. After that I tried shopping with channery but my leg joint still quite painful. It was an old injury whereby I slipped and pulled the muscle. As and when it will come to create some havoc. This morning it was still not okay but I can feel it's getting better.

Joe asked me why I have been going to bed early. Now I sleep at about 8 plus as there's nothing to do. No good shows and I feel realy sleepy and tired.

This afternoon i cut my own hair. Really a bit stressed with my long hair. Will go to the hairdresser tomorrow when children at art lesson. Actually not too bad as the children thought it was done in a salon. I wanna cut it real short. Don;t like hair dangling over my face. Felt so much better after I cut it short. Three thousand strand of troubles gone in just 3 to 5 snips.

Now Joe bringing kids to park. I am staying to do the cooking.

Safe and sound

Hi all, we are back safe an sound from Canberra. The driving was okay. In fact, it's fun as we can go up to 110km. We took more than 3 hours to reach Canberra as we stopped at the towns along the way. Joe drove for an hour and I took over after that. For those who have no partners to alternate driving, it can be really tiring.

Children enjoyed the trip even though they kept asking if we were there yet at every hour. We reached the motel at 2 plus and after we checked in, we went to jalan jalan. From the outside, the Singapore High Commission does not have much character. Can't go in as it was public holiday.

We visited the Telstra Tower but decided not to go up as baby was asleep. The nightview was spectacular even we were not at the highest point. We had KFC dinner and had fun watching TV in Motel. Children love staying in Motel. The next morning we went to visit Questacon ( Canberra Sciene Centre). We could go in FOC as we were members of the Powerhouse Museum here in Sydney. Children had so much fun there but we had to leave at 12 plus as children wanted to go to Cockington's Garden. We saved a lot as the entrance fee was only $48.70 which included the train ride. The attractions here always have the Family package which I think it's really pro-family.

We came back on Monday's evening at 6 plus. No energy to cook so we ordered Aroy Thai home delivery. Took 40 mins to arrive but good as we do not have to cook.

Yesterday I was having a muscle pull on my right leg joint. Joe said could be due to driving. It's an old injury I had and the pain just come and go.

Today Joe brought children to school early as Charlynn has netball paractice. Will try to go out to buy something if possible.

The children's health

Joe was at home on Wednesday. We brought Channery to a clinic to have her eyesight tested. It was a free service and we do no have to pay. The outcome of the checkup was that Channery is shortsighted and she had lazy eyes. She will need to wear the glasses. My other 3 kids have long and short sightedness as well as astigmatism but Channery has little problem with that. Wonder how they had the eyes problems. I only wore spectacles in my teens and my brother even has perfect eyesight. Chances maybe both parents and Joe's parents. Will have to spend big money on their glasses. Charles and Chantz are very careless with their spectacles and likely to have another pair made by end of this year. There is a machine eye relax in Singapore. Maybe to buy that and asked them to se through the machine everyday. When they are older, we will asked them to put on contact lens and have lasik when their degrees stablises.

Besides their eyesight, I am struggling with their eating habits. They like to eat unhealthy food and that is not good news. In fact I was so mad with the boys of throwing away their sandwiches yesterday that I told them they have to prepare their own food. This morning they prepared salad and I ordered them to take the baked pizza along. They refused and only agreed after I told them it was prepared by their dad. I find the children are ganging up to go against me. They can do that and I really won't be affected. They can try to outsmart me but too bad, it's not going to work. Joe can still be their doting father but I just won't give in. I know I can be really stubborn and childish sometime but the kids are not going to win to have an upper hand. Let them prepare their lunch for a few more days and they will know. Wonder if they will be punished for throwing away food as there are so many people around the world without food. I hate to see them wasting food. :{

This Sunday we will be driving to Canberra. Joe said it was only 3 hrs drive and it was easy. He booked a motel and we will leave on Sunday morning. Saturday the kids have Chinese class so we can't leave on Saturday.

I have fears of driving long distance. In fact, jsut now a thought just flashed through my mind. If I were to die or hurt here in Sydney, Joe has no problem taking care of things but what if it is the other way round? I have no money as everything is provided by Joe. Told not to bring money over so I am really quite penniless. Only $200 emergency money which I told Joe to give me. The fact that I have no friends to turn to if anything happen can be scary. Maybe if anything happen, I just buy tickets with credit card and go back Singapore??? My siblings are not contacting us. Seems like everyone is busy with their own family. Who can I go to I wonder if things go wrong?

The Australian has a choice to buy insurance for their funeral. It's about a few dollars a week with no medical check etc. Everything is done via phone. The relatives can take care of the funeral expenses if anything goes wrong. In Singapore, we do not have such insurance and we depended on the Bai2 Jin1 given by friends and relatives as well as our own savings.

Very sad to be in this situation of feeling helpless. God bless.

Abondoned in Child care

Today Sydney's newspaper there was a report whereby a one year old baby was left in the child care. Apparently parents were late, coud not get through centre's phone and the staff left without realizing the kid was inside. Dad came and saw that there was no one. Called police and the police found the owner to come and open the door. Child was fast asleep in a bouncer.

I remembered last year's incident whereby the maid did not go and fetch Chantz from I can read Centre. The staff waited till 11 plus. I rushed there after my work as we had a meet the parent session in school. The staff could not locate me as I switched off my mobile and the family phone was down because of Mio Setup. Joe was in Sydney at that time.

Last year was not a good year as it was frustrating with so mnay things happening at the same time. The decision to come join Joe is a good one for us all.

The past few days

Saturday we went to Botany Bay to try to catch a glimpse of the whales but the whales were nowhere in sight. After staying for a while, we went to another park of the park. Children had fun as they went down to tne rocky shore. The stones was filed with holes made by waves and we could see larvae in the collected pools. I urged everyone to go as I do not feel safe there with mosqitoes on the loose.
After that we went to Hungry jacks to have our lunch. It is actually Burger King. Children had fun as they played in the big playground on site.

After we came back, I was dead to the bones and fell asleep. When I woke up, it was time to go to the Sydney National Chinese Languuage Eisteddfod (Lang3 song4) Competition. Children were not taking part but their friends were. We went there and teh competition was really simple. Find it too simple. The children running around were speacking English and it's really real. The children were also like bananas - just like my kids. Sad but hope we can rectify the problem. After that we came back and quickly prepared the lunch.

On Sunday, we stayed at home as it was raining. We had lunch at Korean restaurant. BBQ again and we did not managed to finish the food. We dao bao the fried fritters back.

Dinner was simple and we watch Chronicles of the NArnia on TV. Nice show.

Monday children woke up and I became angry seeing their bad behaviour and told them to walk to school in the rain. They quickly prepared everything and I changed my mind seeing that they had a change of heart. After sending them to school, I came back as it was raining so I had no mood to shop.

Anyway now's dinner time. Will write again.