My extended family

I grew up in a very big family with 8 uncles and 2 aunties from my dad's side
(koh's family) and 4 uncles and 4 aunties from my mum side (Tan's family).

The koh's family
Grandmother married my granddad after her first husband gambled her away with her child. She was a marvellous woman who never believed in bowing to her fate. After marrying my granddad who had lost his first wife and 2 children, she went to create a fortune for the family. She worked hard and bought lands and provided for the family. Somehow I always felt really afraid of her when I was young but she was really just a woman who had to do it all. In my memory, Granddad was a soft spoken and kind old soul. According to mum, granddad helped us a lot when we were young as we were really poor then. He also helped to look after us - the six monkeys who ran wild in the vast kampong grounds. Grandpa visited us regularly and that was a show of support for mum. Actually we were kinda banished to look after the kampong house deep in Lorong Gambus while the others stayed at Kam1 Zui4 Long4 - near to the hot spring along Sembawang Road. At that time, dad was quite a handful and plus us so out we go. Somehow we were the lucky ones as we all got to enjoy freedom and enjoyed nature. We even had our own fish pond and farms to grow vegetables and rearing the animals. We moved out to HDB flat when I was 11 but the memories was priceless.

Anyway back to my extended family, my granddad was kind to my grandmum's daughter and my first auntie grow up very much a family to all of us. She had a hard childhood too as she must look after the siblings while my grandmum was working. She inherited her mum's strength and even though life was not a bed of roses for her after marriage, she managed to bring her kids up. Nowadays we no longer see her after my grandmum's death in 2005. Wondered how everybody is doing.

My first uncle and auntie are kind souls. They have 6 children and the eldest child is actually older than my last uncle. Kinda normal at that time to be in an extended family. My cousins have children on their own and their family is really big too. I have cousins younger than my nephews and nieces from my first uncle side and somehow that feels okay.

Second uncle has 5 children and third uncle who is dad's twin has 3 children. I find it interesting to mention that my third uncle eldest son is the same age as my eldest sister, second son same age as me and third daughter same age as my brother. My dad has 6 of us and somehow when his brother has a son, he has a daughter, and he finally had a son after his brother had a daughter.

As for fifth uncle, he has 3 children - a boy and 2 girls. My sixth and eighth uncle are still single and probably not getting married. My seven uncle has 3 kids- 2 boys and a girl and my youngest uncle has 2 boys.

Actually to say that we are a close-knit family is not true. Every now and then, my mum will tell us what is happening in our uncles, aunties and cousins' lives but we never really made an effort to stay connected. We only get together once in a while during marriages and funerals and that's when we tried to catch up on what's happening.

As for my mum's side, my first uncle and auntie had passed away many years back. Their kids have all married and we kinda still keep in touch as my cousin is also my mum's godson. He is like a brother to all of us and we feel obligated to make sure he is doing fine. As for the other aunties,uncles and cousins, my mum will tell us how they are doing as she is still in contact with her siblings. i know of a friend who has served ties with her siblings as they had grown apart over the years after their mum's death. Sad that people nowadays are so busy that nobody is able to find time to listen or care.

Actually my own siblings all have their own lives to live and we kinda also do not have time to interact too. Sometimes I wandered why we are so busy that we no longer have time to smell a flower, brew a pot of tea and just chitchat.

Are weddings and funerals the only time we get to see our family????

My children

People always ask me how I handle my 4 kids when they feel they already have their hands full with one or two. Well! Every child is a challenge. 4 kids never mean 4 times the challenge. In fact, with 4 kids, you can see how their birth orders do affect them.

Charlynn is a sensible, responsible girl who wants to excel in her work. She will do her work without being reminded. She probably feels that she has a need to set an example for the siblings and feel that we have high expectations on her. she is the first born and we learn how to be parents for the first time. My friend's child already has a facebook page to record her growing days. That's the kind of things parents will go for their first child and somehow the child will know. she has grown quite tall and many a times she still comes to me wanting big hugs and to scratch her back. Feel that she has grown up so fast but that is a fact of life.

My twin boys still behave like little boys of 3 or 4. Every chance they have, they will want to tackle each other, tease each other and pressing each other buttons. When it comes to work, they will play first then think of the consequences. On sunday, Chantz rolled down the grassy slope so many times even though I kept asking him not to. Charles on the other hand, kept jumping into puddles of water for fun. They can be fun kids to have but somehow working towards a goal or excel in school is not their priority. Joe and I have our hands full with them and just hope they will soon matured. Scary to note that somehow some men never outgrow their childhood.

Channery- my little one is really quite a character. She has a mind of her own and always creating things. house is messy too with her creations. She is best friend with JJ even though JJ sometimes is really scared of her. she loves to go to the library and we are also there for the baby session as she simply find it so fun. Every night she wants Joe to read her a stories. I am worried about her social skills as she ought to be able to attend school but tried that and not successful. she practically burst up in tears when we said we are going to send her to school.
She is able to speak fluently in English language and that is a concern as she simply refused to sing or speak Mandarin.

So you see- 4 kids does not mean 4 times the hardship. With experience, whenever something is not right or going to be a nightmare, we probably would have put a stop to things. Learning along the way with our kids and appreciating them for their uniqueness is quite a joy sometimes. Joe and I actually will have a lot of memories to talk about when we are old. Now life is always on the go but we both love being parents la. Everyday is not boring with them around and when they are good, that is a bonus.

Outing

This afternoon we decided to go out as staying at home in such a fine weather is a waste. We had lunch at MacDonald first as kids wanted to eat fast food. After that we decided to go lane Cove Nature Reserve but along the way, I changed my mind and said that I would like to go Manly beach.

Joe mentioned that yesterday's newspaper reported that the sand at the beach has been eroded due to heavy rain and high tides. Well! The more we should bring them there to see what is happening so we changed our route and drove to Manly. Took us more than half an hour to reach but we were lucky to find a parking lot there. It's free of charge for 2 hrs.

Channery refused to wear a diaper so she was looking for a toilet. We could not find one in time so we took off her pants and let her urinate in a diaper instead. After that we walked to Manly beach. The sight was not beautiful. We went there this summer when My mum in law and wei yi visited us and it was very beautiful with white sands. Now we could see that the sand has been eroded and we could see stones lying on the beach only. The stones were placed there by the council to prevent sand erosion. Somehow it kinda worked as those areas behind the stones were still quite intact.

children insisted on playing on the little space cornered by the council and got themselves quite messy. We decided to go to a nearby lookout and off we went. we could see the North head, South Head and Middle head at Tania park. Scenery beautiful and children were happy to be out in the open. There was an icecream van so of course they have icecream too. We realized it was a lease free park as there were many dogs running around.

While the kids were playing, I received a call from Hong. Told her I would call back as it was definitely cheaper if I called her. We talked for quite some time and it was really nice to hear from her. Joe's phone gone flat and then I called again using my phone. Kinda wondered how life will be like if I am in Singapore. Really have been missing on a lot of things during our absence.

Came back to cook dinner as it was raining and we still have some left over chickens the night before. Easy dinner for me so I am not complaining. Eating out sometimes cost too much. 1 plate of chicken rice will cost us $8.50 here. Well! as compared to Singapore, the price is rather steep right???

FACEBOOK

Just joined facebook and realized its really excited and yet scary to find so many people on it and seems like everyone knows everybody. Kinda take up time too to look at the post given and yet can gain insight into people's lives. My cousins, nieces and nephews are on it too and to read what they have written is kinda interesting as can know how youngsters think. Somehow I think I am a bit "old shoe" - like I am a bit too conservative whereas the young ones really do dare to bare their souls.

Life is good if everyone is able to send a little kindness around. Facebook can do just that. Being alone in a foreign country can be miserable if you do not have support system. Will have to ask Joe to set up one when we leave him here in Dec so that he will not be so bored. He will be here for at least another half a yr. with facebook, maybe he will be busy net socializing and not miss us too much.

Actually I am thinking whether I should go and see if I can reconnect with my old school friends. Not been motivated as seems like no need to. Anyway when I am really bored stiff, maybe will try to locate the ones I miss!

Mission impossible

Guess what? I realized yesterday that my children have head lice on their hair. what a scary thing! There was a notice from school saying children were infested with head lice a few months ago and we did a check. Now that it was many months I never really think it was possible to be "lucky" to catch the litlle bugs but yucks! I was combing Channery's hair and realized she has them. After school, I quickly checked the boys as they were really unkempt and I nearly had a heart attack- what a horrible fright. Their hairs had grown quite long and I could see lots of eggs on them and some crawling around.

After we went to buy flea bomb, Joe and I went to pharmacy and got the necessary lotions and combs and set to work. Boys really have to be checked for their heads as they were really horribly infested with lice. The fact that Ruby time they were so close to their friends and kept heading each other could have made it a heaven for the lice and nits. The boys were always so reluctant to take their baths could also means they never really wash their hairs properly.

The lotion was supposed to have killed all the little bugs but today I still find some living on their hairs after their hair cuts. yes I brought the boys to the hairdresser to cut their hair short. Think it will really take a long time to kill all. Done all the washing of pillow cases and bedsheets plus setting off flea bombs in all the rooms so hopefully the situation is controlled.

REad about it that there was not an issue of cleanliness but just contact. No way! I am going to make sure the little bugs don't find their way in my house. That means boys must be checked every week plus regularly bathing and washing their hairs.

Read that it was quite impossible to avoid if many kids have them in school.

Have them once when I was young and made to put on the smelling solution. Somehow the lotion I applied on them seems not that strong. The girls are okay as we did the combing on them and could not find any traces of the lice. Will do the solution again in a weeks time so that the eggs would have hatched and could be comed out. Now can seem to find some eggs sticking to the hairs.

Going back Singapore

Guess what? Joe and I have decided to go back to Singapore in December for good. The decision came about when my boys seem to be getting naughtier and learning a lot of bad habits from their peers. They refused to do their homework and only keen on playing. Allowing them to be in the school's Ruby team this year seem like a bad idea. Said that I am biased but those who joined are mostly the pacific-looking- big sized fellow who do not seem keen on studying. No discipline at all and they just wanna have fun during practise. The boys refused to be taken out but somehow the influence is there.

Charles's placement in 3/4J is also a problem. He is smart to be studying with the P4s but these P4s are the last of their lots who has problem catching up. By putting him with the unmotivated ones, he also become very "bo chap". There is a boy in his class who is always up to mischief and even though he was warned not to learn from him, he seems to be picking up his bad behaviour. Tried talking to his class teacher but no use. As for Chantz, his class's teacher this time is a white Aussie and very much bo Chap. His homework undone also seem acceptable. Somehow I am thinking that the system here is too relaxed for the good of my children. They have to compete with Singaporeans when we go back and so half a year might be crucial. Joe will go back in May as planned and I will go back with kids in Dec.

Life is relaxed here but we never really think what is essential until being distured. Mr and Mrs Tok's visit prompted us to think and that was the decision we reached. What is important to us? Somehow it's family. Our children's future depends on us. Staying here and running away from the stress of interacting with the real life in Singapore is not an option anymore. Here life is relaxed but there's still things left to be settled back home. I know I will miss Joe Sorely but somehow half a year seems okay la. I will try to be strong for the kids.

If we going back early, it means we have to stay with mum in law or try to get our condo back early. We will see how things work out but decision is to go back early so that kids can go back to the Singapore System asap. I won't be going back to workforce till maybe a yr later when kids have settled back.

Just this morning, I was very angry with my next door neighbour. He complained that we parked our car too forward and he could not park his car. Well! His children always park their car so inconsiderately and we have to park our car opposite our house and he had such a big space and yet he said that we are taking up too much space. He should really measure the space to see that he is talking nonsense. We have been putting up with the two households beside us and yet they still very demanding. What's so good about being the second class citizens here? I think I still like to go back to Singapore whereby being the majority is still a bliss and w
e won't feel intimidated.

Anyway being here also means that joe could not concentrate fully on his work. With us gone, he can do better I think. Not going back now as it's the middle of the year. Will finish the school yr here and then it's time to go. Now must think of ways to dhave here - sell them, dispose them or ship back the items we want.

I love to say this but being here has definitely made me appreciate more of Singapore. Do you know that having guns is legalised/ easily obtainable and there were many shoot-outs and killings in the past few months. High school students can get hold of drugs easily and that is also a scary part. Joe's friend's son was expelled as he was involved in a case whereby his peers were selling and he knew about it. Scary but that's the darker side of this society. Weather and lifestyle good but at what price in the end???

Well-being

these days weather getting really bad. Cold and we are all falling sick one by one. Chantz did not go to school on Monday as he was having a fever and yesterday Charles came back feeling frail. Now he is resting and trying to get his energy back.

Joe has been absent from work too for the past few days. He got the virus from me I think. Somehow we are all trying to recover from the nasty cold/flu. I am now feeding them Omega fish oil and vitamin C to build up their immunity. Somehow feeling better now with some supplements.

Yesterday I went out to meet my colleague from Singapore. He and his wife are here to visit their son who is a doctor here in sydney. We met them from 11 to 2 plus and had a lot of fun. They even bought us some gifts and really pai say that we could not entertain them today as planned since Charles is sick. channery was naughty as she dragged Mrs Tok to a toy shop and bought a very expensive tea pot set. Such things cost $29.95. that is really sha1 ren2 fang4 huo3. Mr Tok also bought fruits and nuts for us. We really enjoy having visitors over as it can be really lonely here sometimes. They will be going back on Friday and we hope them bon voyage back home. These few days with kids falling sick, I don't think I have time to meet them again before they leave.

Will visit them when we go back singapore. They are blessed with good kids who worked hard and I think it has got a lot to do with their personality. God bless them.

"Funny" world

Read in the newspaper of a crime that happened 10 yr ago in Australia. A female Russian immigrant who married a Scientist and had a baby girl fell in love with a aged, chronic gambler and criminal. The man was so many years older than her. at least 15 yrs and yet she was so obsessed that she hijackked a helicopter and flew into the prison to rescue her lover. After that she and her lover were on the road for 57 days before they were caught in a motel room in each other's arms.

A point to note is that she was actually a doctorate student studying in the university at that time. She was beautiful and considered "smart" and yet she could not help herself. She was jailed for 7 yrs and now working in one of the supermarket near the blue mountain. Ex-husband and her daughter had since left the country but she is still in contact with her lover. Her lover will only be realised when he is 71yrs old.

Somehow people do funny thing when they could not think straight. It is really disheartening to hear such sad story. I pity the little girl the little girl that will grow up without a mother.

Anothe absurb story is from a pay TV review called the "Pre-teen beauty queen". it is abt a 11 yr old Briton who is absorbing all kinds of wrong ideas from her parents.The girl tells the camera that she's "dumb and stupid" and the idea she gets from dad. She also says she does not care. she expalined that 20 yrs ago people cared about their education but now they just wanna be beautiful and amous. Her idol is a topless model or having unrealistically enormous breast implants. She is encouraged and/or pushed by her mum who used to get paid to stand around in bikinis at car shows. Mumsays she does not want her daughter to appear in porn but she is happy for her to appear topless in newspaper and magazines. In the meantime, the little girl sleeps in a bed scattered with Playboy pillows and cushions. The documentary follows her to photo shoots, he in her little mind. She ismodelling agents and beauty pageant.

What kind of world is that one is unable to diferentiate from right and wrong?

Green bean soup dessert

Green bean soup is supposed to be a very good dessert to singaporeans. When I was young, I hated this dessert most as mum always cooked this for us and made us drink it when it is still warm. In the end, we found out that by putting them in Fridge we ended up with " Sen1 Bao1" or pospsicles.

Somehow this dessert brings back many fond memories for me.

This is an easy Chinese soup dessert that is cooling and sweet, so it is suitable for the weather in Singapore right now. Green beans (or some call ‘mung beans’) are considered by Chinese as a ‘cooling’ food, and some believe it is a good alternative home remedy for acne (maybe it works by bringing down the body heat?). I just love making this because it’s so easy and tasty. By the way ladies, if you are pregnant or having yr time of the month, pls avoid consuming this during too much as this is too cooling and may cause heavier flows.

Methods:

- 125g Green Beans (aka mung beans) - soaked overnight and drained
- 2 Pandan (aka Screw Pine) Leaves, dried ends cut, tied in a knot
- 1.25 litres water
- 50g rock sugar - or more i preferred sweeter
- 3 small pieces of dried orange (tangerine) peel
- 4 slices of ginger
- 1/2 tsp of salt

Directions

1. Place water, orange peel, green beans, ginger and pandan leaves in a pot and
bring to boil.
2. Reduce the fire and simmer, partially covered, for about 30-50 minutes (or till
beans are soft). Add some hot water if needed.
3. Add sugar and salt to taste during the last 5-10 minutes of cooking.

I used multipurpose steamboat to cook this and it is superfast to cook. Somehow my children love this dessert.

Now cooking this even in winter as we chantz, cahrlynn, Channery, joe and me are down with flu. Green beans can jie3 du2 so hopefully we will recover soon.

What's happening

Charlynn's photograph was published in the chinese newspaper. Will keep the paper as momentos. My three students who bravely went up without the others were also published. The group that clinched the first for 4-6 yrs old had 5 of my students. seems like many o my students were rather happy with their achievement. as for those who never turned up, they all claimed parents did not know the way to the place. I rather believe them than believe that their parents did not want them to take part. Principal said to call up parents but I tried calling and guessed what, the parents are not picking up my calls. Frustrated that they did not answer my calls and wasting my time. I ended up buying 3 copies for the kids and guess what the parents really did not bother to buy any newspaper even though they know it will be published on Thursday.

channery and I have been down with flu for the past ew days. WE probably got it from Charlynn. She is getting better but we two are still trying to get well. My backache had recovered after taking the doctor's prescription but now the respiratory system very bad. coughing and I have lots of phlegm. Just hope we will get better soon. weather now lowest 9 and highest 14 deg but very windy so feeling super cold outside. I prepared jumper for boys the night before with their school uniorm but they discarded them on the floor. They really do not know how to take care of themselves.

Yesterday we could not start the car engine as the battery was out. Joe came back early and went to the mechanic. The replcement cost us $150. that's is always the case for old cars. We need to change parts occasionally.

No more meat in the freezer, will see if I can go shopping with kids after school. Stepping out now is super freezing as I am not feeling so well.

Rainbow and charlynn's pride

Today Joe did not go to school. He decided to stay at home with us. after sending the kids to school, we stayed a while and after that we went to the library. Channery had such a good time there. Today's topic is winter so we have stories on winter wear and activities we do during winter time.

After that, we went to buy chinese newspaper as the 2009 National Eisteddfod competition was published today. We saw my students photo in the newspaper as well as Charlynn's picture. Kinda proud to see my girl's picture on the newspaper.

After that we drove to roseland shopping centre. I hae decided to buy a cage for JJ. I thought he could fit into the small one but in the end we had to go back after fetching the kids to change into a bigger one. Bought quite a lot of things there.

We decided to have pies tonight so I cooked the ingredients. Somehow kids were not interested in eating the pie so I ended up using the ingredients to cook sphagetti.

I am really not feeling in top form these days because of the back ache.

Btw jsut wanna say that we are always fascinated to be able to see beautiful rainbow here in sydney. In singapore, we never get to see what our beautiful nature has to offer. Life here is definitely better than in singapore but too bad we had to go back as our loved ones are still back home and they probably won't uproot elsewhere.

FANTASY WORLD

Joe and children do not understand why I like to read. Actually reading is really a very good pasttime - providing you have the time I have!!! :>

Every story brings me to experiences and lifestyle that are beyong my imagination. Knowing that there are places out there that are so beautiul and magical.

Sometimes reading help me to release stress and feel that life is still full of hope. sometimes I can't help shedding a tear or two when I felt moved by the characters in the books. Sometimes I feel their helplessness and have the courage to take up the challenges life chooses to put along their way.

Joe on the other hand, likes to read the newspaper and be intellectually challenged. He can do all the quizzes and spent all day trying to solve them. I jus tlove to escape the real life and let my imagination goes wild and be the characters in the books.

Having this relax lifestyle is good as I don;t see the need to prove myself to be a wonderwoman like I used to be. Just like the Air france's victims, who knows what tomorrow will bring. four hour ago, you are full of joy and the next, you are shattered and going god knows where???

If you are a kind person who has been spreading love and kindness, people will recall how a wonderful person you are and i you are mean and always up to no good, the people who know you will say " Good riddance!".

Nobody is perfect but if you were to write what is to be written on yr grave stone, what will you write?????

The Tang Chinese emperess left her plain and does not want anything to e recorded on her tombstone. What about us????

Mum's sudden illness

On Monday's night, we receied a sms from Adeline saying thatis mum had just been discharged from hospital after suspected a mild stroke. what a fright! After calling sis, she said doc admitted her to hospital on sunday morning after she went to see doc on her condition and she was immediately sent to hospital. She has high blood pressure and diabetes so having stroke beinreally not unexpected. Being so far away, I really was in no position to go back so they decided to keep us in the dark.

Well! at least she is fine now. she can still move her limbs and do simple chores except being a bit slow. She said the others have shown concern and that is a caring act. We are so far apart and guess if anything happened, I will still be able to catch a plane back home la.

In fact these few days, Charlynn and I are still not feeling well. she had fever and flu since Sat and asthma attack as well. Doc prescibed medication for her but she seems unable to take her medication on time. Today she is off to catch a play organised by her school. Hopefully she remembered to take her ventolin puff along. As for me, the backache was killing me for more than a fortnight so I had to go and see a doc. the medication works and I am still recovering. Having backache is no small matter. I did not try the remedy I used during my coninement as I find buying the Chinese herb a bit too expensive.

Well! life is like that. When one thinks everything is smooth sailing, it suddenly throws in a challenge for us. We know not what tomorow will bring so I am treasuring everyday as if kinda silly to worry about the past and future. What past cannot be undone and we just have to learn from our mistakes. As for tomorrow, if you are already giving yr best for today, then there's nothing to worry about the unknown tomorrow.

IT'S ALWAYS THE DARKEST PART OF THE NIGHT THAT WE ARE MOST UNSURE. SOMEHOW AFTER THE MOMENTS, THE SUN WILL RISE AND EERYTHING WILL BE WELL AGAIN.

Lang3 song4 competition

Last Saturday my students took part in the NSW Lang3 Song4 Competition. Charlynn's class came in second and she was really happy about it. Charlynn is always giving her best in everything. Boys were not selected by their teacher as they were rather playful.

I did not have many students comfirming coming and so there was only 3 of them on stage. really proud of them. They had the courage to stand on the stage and delivered their piece. I asked my sons to go up with them but they refused to do so. They had been learning the same thing but the boys were a disappointment. They simply do not hae the motivation to excel in whatever they do. I need to find out why parents were not able to come for the competition. One parent could not locate the venue in the heay downpour and decided to go back home. Aother claimed we did not tell them there was no school in the morning and so not so keen to come for the competiton. We did inform the kids that there was no school but the kids did not relay the message to their parents. For parents who did not bring their kids to the competition, they really are setting a bad example on their kids. Being responsible and on time is very important. Maybe I did not call in advance to them also is a cause.

Will find out when I made the calls over these few days to see how it is. REally not so happy to be caught like that. wondered what the principal thinks of my ability. There is 2 months probation so Who knows I might not be able to continue with the job.

I think it's really important that I get to talk to the parents before Saturday. Wish me good luck on the task. somehow calling them is okay except that they won't pick up the calls.