Life is like a game. Lots of challenges, surprises and ups and downs. Life is a bed of roses -- true if u are a gardener, u will know that roses have pricks and thorns that will prick u. Many a times I was pricked while tending to the roses. Not just that, I must trim and cut and water and fertilise the rose plants before I get to see the beautiful blooms. The joy of seeing the beautiful flowers at the end of the day is rewarding and yet it has my blood and sweats.
Nobody can tell u what will be at the corner. A surprise, a hole whereby u will fall into? A friend whom u have not seen a long time. Many a times, we have to take whatever life throws at us with courage. Good things like a baby, a promotion, a new job offer, a new marriage comes with responsiblilities and unknown. Grab it with both hands and nurture with love and care. Only by doing so wholeheartedly can u forget worrying about the what ifs. Everyone of us has only 24 hrs and how to make full use of the precious time is most important. If spending time crying over spilled milk makes u happy, continue to wallow in yr sorrows. However, many a times crying won't help. Try getting a new cup of milk if possible, if not go get something else. Everyone of us must make a conscious effort to choose to live life the happy one. Two sides of a coin -- either this or that. Nobody can help us except ourselves.
Everyday choose to tell ourselves to do things that we can do well, not things that we have no control over. Worrying on the unknown and never spend energy on what we have is a waste of energy. when we have something on our mind, we alwasy cannot smile. Why not smile and then we won't think of the something???
Love is the answer to many things - show love to others and u will have less time to think of yr own miseries unless u are a super duper multitasker who can cry and smile at the same time :>
Monday, December 7, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Lazy me
Lately I have been so busy packing up that I really have no time to update my blog. Everything is as usual. I am writing now as I think there are some kind souls whom I am really grateful to. Just now my next door neighbour knocked on my door and offered to send them to school everyday since he saw my kids walking to school by themselves. That is really kind of them to offer thee kids a ride. Will ask kids if they are willing to take a ride from next door uncle.
I also being offered a ride by my chinese school principal when she knew that we were staying nearby and that we had sold our car. Really walking is no bother to us but people are so nice.
We tend to keep to ourselves here but somehow people do look out for us. My next dor neighbour emptied my dustbin when we were on holiday woithout us telling them to do so. sometimes they even put my bins back in my front yard.
Somehow it is quite okay to stay here but the decision to go back is a better one.
I also being offered a ride by my chinese school principal when she knew that we were staying nearby and that we had sold our car. Really walking is no bother to us but people are so nice.
We tend to keep to ourselves here but somehow people do look out for us. My next dor neighbour emptied my dustbin when we were on holiday woithout us telling them to do so. sometimes they even put my bins back in my front yard.
Somehow it is quite okay to stay here but the decision to go back is a better one.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Safe and Sound back home
After 11 days at New Zealand, we came back yesterday evening. All of us were feeling tired but pretty excited about coming back home. The queue at the airport to clean custom was quite long. Luckily for us, there was no queue for Taxi so we managed to come back home at 7.10pm.
After getting all the luggages into the house, the children immediately switched on Tv. We rested for about half an hour and then we packed ourselves in the car to go to the supermarket to get some groceries. We left the car unattended for 11 days so we were really worried that it would not start. Luckily, it did start and we happily went to buy bread, fruits, yogurt and vegetables. As for meat, I probably still have some in the freezer so I did not purchase any meat.
After coming back, kids immediately brushee their teeth and get ready for bed. In NZ they would be in bed already. Within a short time, the house was quiet. Joe even surfed the internet and catching up on news whereas I was knocked out flat.
This morning the kids woke up at 6 plus and Joe as well. They had so much energy and decided to walk to school themselves. Well! that suits me fine since I was busy with laundry and cleaning up.
I had checked my emails and did the first batch of laundry. Will have to go fetch JJ later too. My kids wanted to be there when I fetched him so will go about 3 plus.
Will try to show some photos and write about our NZ trip when I am free. Cheers and thank God for blessing us!
After getting all the luggages into the house, the children immediately switched on Tv. We rested for about half an hour and then we packed ourselves in the car to go to the supermarket to get some groceries. We left the car unattended for 11 days so we were really worried that it would not start. Luckily, it did start and we happily went to buy bread, fruits, yogurt and vegetables. As for meat, I probably still have some in the freezer so I did not purchase any meat.
After coming back, kids immediately brushee their teeth and get ready for bed. In NZ they would be in bed already. Within a short time, the house was quiet. Joe even surfed the internet and catching up on news whereas I was knocked out flat.
This morning the kids woke up at 6 plus and Joe as well. They had so much energy and decided to walk to school themselves. Well! that suits me fine since I was busy with laundry and cleaning up.
I had checked my emails and did the first batch of laundry. Will have to go fetch JJ later too. My kids wanted to be there when I fetched him so will go about 3 plus.
Will try to show some photos and write about our NZ trip when I am free. Cheers and thank God for blessing us!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Finally NZ
After 2 weeks of intense planning and the last few days of packing, we are finally going to Nz tomorrow. The flight is 8.50am so we have to take a taxi there at 6am. Kids are all looking forward for the trip. Joe and I had sweated over the itineary and doing all the necessary booking. I even type out the itineary and did all the research on driving time and routes. We do not really need a street directory at all actually but to play safe, we will get one at the airport. I even did a daily record booklet for the kids so that they can record their experiences down. It's just recording down what they like about the places we visited. I did research on the service stations in case we need to do some refill.
The most challenging route is the one from Milford Sound to Clinton Farm stay. We need to drive a lot and can only reach there at about 8pm. A small stretch of road will be in darkness. I think there are no street lights except near the towns. we tried not to drive too early or too late so that we will be safe but Milford sound simply is a bit out of the way so bo bian la.
The weather now there is highest about 17 deg and lowest 8 deg. I had to pack their winter wear and stuff so we ended up with many luggages. Children all want to take their own trolley bag so we have 4 smaller suitcases and 2 huge ones. We even have to pack a child seat for Channery. She will be celebrating her birthday at Queenstown whereby we will have a buffet dinner at the top of the mountain. the Gondola will bring us up and we will dine there after that.
Hopefully the kids will behave themselves and cooperate with us. Told them not to say the phrase" ARE we there yet?" since they always like to ask whenever we are on the road. It will drive me crazy trying to pacify nosiy kids and concentrating on driving.
Will see how things go and will keep u all update if possible. Now with internet, anything is possible. God bless that everything goes as planned and we are back safe and sound.
The most challenging route is the one from Milford Sound to Clinton Farm stay. We need to drive a lot and can only reach there at about 8pm. A small stretch of road will be in darkness. I think there are no street lights except near the towns. we tried not to drive too early or too late so that we will be safe but Milford sound simply is a bit out of the way so bo bian la.
The weather now there is highest about 17 deg and lowest 8 deg. I had to pack their winter wear and stuff so we ended up with many luggages. Children all want to take their own trolley bag so we have 4 smaller suitcases and 2 huge ones. We even have to pack a child seat for Channery. She will be celebrating her birthday at Queenstown whereby we will have a buffet dinner at the top of the mountain. the Gondola will bring us up and we will dine there after that.
Hopefully the kids will behave themselves and cooperate with us. Told them not to say the phrase" ARE we there yet?" since they always like to ask whenever we are on the road. It will drive me crazy trying to pacify nosiy kids and concentrating on driving.
Will see how things go and will keep u all update if possible. Now with internet, anything is possible. God bless that everything goes as planned and we are back safe and sound.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Campsie Festival
13 yrs ago today was my ROm date. That was really a very memorable day since I waas late for my ROm because I did not manage to catch a cab. Everyone was there waiting for my arrival and we change our ROM time two hours later. REally a big Sotong.
Anyway we totally forgot about it until now. Told Joe and he suddenly realized we had nearly forgotten about it. This morning till about 3pm we were so busy. This morning I woke up early to cook fried rice and green beans soup for Children's school function. Parents were encouraged to cook some food and sell in the school. Before this date, Charlynn told me to sew five stones for her peers so I told her to ask her friends to buy from me on this day. Ended up I had sewed 33 sets and sold them all off. Earning a total of $66 alone for the five stones. As for the green beans soup, it was finished in no time since I sold them at 50cents a cup. They are my specialty but I only managed to cook three quarter pot. Should have added more water to it. Think I earned about $20 plus for the green beans soup. As for the fried rice, each pack was sold at $3 so I earn about $30. Children were given about $25 to spend and they had a great time spending money on food, drinks and games.
In Singapore, we will never have the chance to sell things in school since MOE is afraid of food posioning and NEA is really strict about food handling.
At about 1pm, we finished selling the food. We stayed back to watch a concert since charlynn was performing a fan dance. She really enjoys dancing and she has a flare for it. Since young, she has been given the centre stage when performing. In fact, she even won in P2 Talent show. She had to perform for the whole school and she enjoyed the dance movement. She did all the dance moves herself and I only provided a suitable song.
Anyway, today is a fruitday for me. What a way to "celebrate" my wedding anniversary. Maybe I should say what a way to celebrate Children's Day here in Sydney!
Anyway we totally forgot about it until now. Told Joe and he suddenly realized we had nearly forgotten about it. This morning till about 3pm we were so busy. This morning I woke up early to cook fried rice and green beans soup for Children's school function. Parents were encouraged to cook some food and sell in the school. Before this date, Charlynn told me to sew five stones for her peers so I told her to ask her friends to buy from me on this day. Ended up I had sewed 33 sets and sold them all off. Earning a total of $66 alone for the five stones. As for the green beans soup, it was finished in no time since I sold them at 50cents a cup. They are my specialty but I only managed to cook three quarter pot. Should have added more water to it. Think I earned about $20 plus for the green beans soup. As for the fried rice, each pack was sold at $3 so I earn about $30. Children were given about $25 to spend and they had a great time spending money on food, drinks and games.
In Singapore, we will never have the chance to sell things in school since MOE is afraid of food posioning and NEA is really strict about food handling.
At about 1pm, we finished selling the food. We stayed back to watch a concert since charlynn was performing a fan dance. She really enjoys dancing and she has a flare for it. Since young, she has been given the centre stage when performing. In fact, she even won in P2 Talent show. She had to perform for the whole school and she enjoyed the dance movement. She did all the dance moves herself and I only provided a suitable song.
Anyway, today is a fruitday for me. What a way to "celebrate" my wedding anniversary. Maybe I should say what a way to celebrate Children's Day here in Sydney!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Happenings Update
These few days I was so caught up with the planning of Australia trip that my mum was wondering where we were and how we were doing. Called her up and she was so relieved to hear from me. She said she was extremely worried after hearing there was a duststorm in Sydney. Yes! The dust storm was rather scary. The whole sky was orange in colour and my car was covered with dust. Channery's friend walked to school and she felt ill after that. Those who have respiratory problem was told to stay at home as it is quite dangerous for them to wander out into the open air.
Actually now that everything has been booked, I am beginning to feel whether I am up to the challenge of driving around New Zealand. Tried driving long distances from Melbourne to Canberra, stopping only for toilet breaks for abt 6 hrs but somehow the type of roads are very different from Australia. Theirs are more of mountain roads and they practically all two lane roads - one direction each. Both of us have to be really alert to look out for possible hazards.
Looking forward to going for the trip and creating wonderful memories for the whole family. The kids are going to love the activities that we have planned. This weekend we are going to send my chickens away to a farm owned by his friend's son since we won't be around to take care of them. Will miss them since they are actually quite fun to play with in the backyard. As for JJ, he has been reserved at a dog boarding house again. Hopefully he will enjoy his 14 days there.
Actually now that everything has been booked, I am beginning to feel whether I am up to the challenge of driving around New Zealand. Tried driving long distances from Melbourne to Canberra, stopping only for toilet breaks for abt 6 hrs but somehow the type of roads are very different from Australia. Theirs are more of mountain roads and they practically all two lane roads - one direction each. Both of us have to be really alert to look out for possible hazards.
Looking forward to going for the trip and creating wonderful memories for the whole family. The kids are going to love the activities that we have planned. This weekend we are going to send my chickens away to a farm owned by his friend's son since we won't be around to take care of them. Will miss them since they are actually quite fun to play with in the backyard. As for JJ, he has been reserved at a dog boarding house again. Hopefully he will enjoy his 14 days there.
Monday, September 21, 2009
New Zealand trip
These few days Joe and I are busy planning for our family new Zealand trip. We planned to visit both islands and only have 10 days or so for the trip. Joe and I went there 12 yrs ago for honeymoon and we told ourselves then that we will bring our kids back for visit. So, NZ being so near to Australia and so we decided to make the trip before we go back to Singapore in December for good.
Lots of things to see and do. At the north island, we will bring the kids to visit Kiwi fruit farm, visit glow worms and explore cave, see kiwi birds and other animals, soak in a mud pool, visit hot springs, see all the geothermal activities and visit Maori culture and eat their food. They will even get to stay in show farms hotel and visit the fliming sets of "Lord of the Rings" if we have time. We will finalize the final tour itinerary.
As for the south island, in Queenstownm we will bring them to ride the gondola and luge in Queenstown, take the shotover jet, bring them to see others doing Bumgy jump. After that, we will drive to milford sound to visit the beautiful milford sound. Hopefully we can catch sight of dolphines and whales and other wildlife there. After that, we will go for farm stay between Te Anau and Dunedin.Hopfully there will have lots to see on the working farm. We will proceed to find the Moeraki Boulders and try to visit the wildlife there. The Albatross colony, the fur seals, the yellow penguins, the blue penguins and so on. We will see if we have any time to see all these fabulous creatures. After the coast, we will drive towards Mount cook so that we can catch the Glacier. We won't be going to Fox Glacier / Franz Josef Glacier since they are at the other side of the island. We will just visit Mount cook and take a tour there. Told Joe maybe to take a helicopter up the mountain but the cost is too much. No way are we going to spend that kind of money la. After the glacier, w will head back to Christchurch and then take a plane back to Australia.
So far, the conservative estimated cost of having it all is about $15000. We will see how we wanna fine tune everything. The booking of airfares is a problem since we are not sure how to go about booking for all the flights. Will figure out. The car and motels and tour packages at various places of interest too. By doing everything ourselves and self drive, we will save a total of $10k and also the flexibility to adjust the tour according to our needs.
God bless everything will go as planned.
Lots of things to see and do. At the north island, we will bring the kids to visit Kiwi fruit farm, visit glow worms and explore cave, see kiwi birds and other animals, soak in a mud pool, visit hot springs, see all the geothermal activities and visit Maori culture and eat their food. They will even get to stay in show farms hotel and visit the fliming sets of "Lord of the Rings" if we have time. We will finalize the final tour itinerary.
As for the south island, in Queenstownm we will bring them to ride the gondola and luge in Queenstown, take the shotover jet, bring them to see others doing Bumgy jump. After that, we will drive to milford sound to visit the beautiful milford sound. Hopefully we can catch sight of dolphines and whales and other wildlife there. After that, we will go for farm stay between Te Anau and Dunedin.Hopfully there will have lots to see on the working farm. We will proceed to find the Moeraki Boulders and try to visit the wildlife there. The Albatross colony, the fur seals, the yellow penguins, the blue penguins and so on. We will see if we have any time to see all these fabulous creatures. After the coast, we will drive towards Mount cook so that we can catch the Glacier. We won't be going to Fox Glacier / Franz Josef Glacier since they are at the other side of the island. We will just visit Mount cook and take a tour there. Told Joe maybe to take a helicopter up the mountain but the cost is too much. No way are we going to spend that kind of money la. After the glacier, w will head back to Christchurch and then take a plane back to Australia.
So far, the conservative estimated cost of having it all is about $15000. We will see how we wanna fine tune everything. The booking of airfares is a problem since we are not sure how to go about booking for all the flights. Will figure out. The car and motels and tour packages at various places of interest too. By doing everything ourselves and self drive, we will save a total of $10k and also the flexibility to adjust the tour according to our needs.
God bless everything will go as planned.
Chinese Language
Last few days passed so quickly when I have a task on hand. I was busy marking my students' work since they will be having a test this week. Lots of revision materials to help them revise. Most of my students were really hardworking but I have a few who are really quite laid back. They probably will not score well for the test and they seem - don't really care. Kids do not see why they have to learn Chinese language and I am really saddened by this fact. When I was young, I was really better in languages than Science and Maths. Reading was a favourite pastime since it opens up a whole new world for a kampong girl. My parents never really bring us anywhere and teach us anything and we grow up rather sheltered and ignorant. Only in books, I can lose myself into another world. Nowadays, internet is so informative and fun and colourful that kids will not want to read. Need to find more interactive games. sites in Chinese language that will interest the kids too so that they can master the language while playing at the same time.
Anyway,I am looking forward to sending my family back home in December so that there are more chinese programmes in Singapore. Here all Tv programmes in English and the kids are turning into bananas - yellow skin, white flesh. Hopefully my sons and Channery will learn to write and breathe the language.
Actually nowadays many families in Singapore do not speak Chinese language and the kids really struggle in school. They only have 2 periods of CL class daily and that is simply not enough to master the language. Need to have more exposure so that they can read and write well. Knowing how to speak the language is not good enough, writing and recognising the characters are most impt. We only have to learn 500 frequent words to become good in the language.
It's a long road to success to encourage my kids and students to learn and love the language but I will keep trying.
Anyway,I am looking forward to sending my family back home in December so that there are more chinese programmes in Singapore. Here all Tv programmes in English and the kids are turning into bananas - yellow skin, white flesh. Hopefully my sons and Channery will learn to write and breathe the language.
Actually nowadays many families in Singapore do not speak Chinese language and the kids really struggle in school. They only have 2 periods of CL class daily and that is simply not enough to master the language. Need to have more exposure so that they can read and write well. Knowing how to speak the language is not good enough, writing and recognising the characters are most impt. We only have to learn 500 frequent words to become good in the language.
It's a long road to success to encourage my kids and students to learn and love the language but I will keep trying.
Bathrust trip
Since last week, Charlynn has been chattering non-stop about going for the trip today. I just came back from her school after sending her there before 6.30am. Their teachers told them to go earlier but there were still many that were late. I left after waiting for about 15 mins and decided to make my way home.
Frankly speaking, the children were all so excited to be away from their parents and they were all practically beaming with joy. Even though they are going to stay only one night away from home, they do not seem to mind at all. The parents seem to be the ones to be really worried and I could not help smiling at some of the comments of the parents. Two parents were caught saying that she gave her child handphone so that she could contact the child but she probably can only hear from him when the teacher allowed him to call. They even commented that their child's teacher is pregnant and how to run after their kids. Why so many questions?? Their children are so overprotected and I wonder what will happen when their child leaves the home. children are like horses without reins but parents still wanna hand on tight.
I think it's really a good opportunity for the kids to have excursions so that they can learn to take care of themselves. This trip to Bathrust is too short,
the kids should have more days away from home.
Frankly speaking, the children were all so excited to be away from their parents and they were all practically beaming with joy. Even though they are going to stay only one night away from home, they do not seem to mind at all. The parents seem to be the ones to be really worried and I could not help smiling at some of the comments of the parents. Two parents were caught saying that she gave her child handphone so that she could contact the child but she probably can only hear from him when the teacher allowed him to call. They even commented that their child's teacher is pregnant and how to run after their kids. Why so many questions?? Their children are so overprotected and I wonder what will happen when their child leaves the home. children are like horses without reins but parents still wanna hand on tight.
I think it's really a good opportunity for the kids to have excursions so that they can learn to take care of themselves. This trip to Bathrust is too short,
the kids should have more days away from home.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Horse riding
After visitng Elizabeth farm, we made our way to blue Mountain. At first we decided to go shopping in Paramatta but the whole carpark was filled and we really not in the mood for shopping. We stopped for lunch at a cafe and saw the brochure for horse riding. After lunch, we made our way to Richmond North.
We were actually around this area last Sunday but did not venture into the side road. When we reached there, we decided to go for an hour horse trail. Channery was the first to sit on her pony. A local girl Brittany held on to the reins and led her around. Chantz was the second one to get on the horse follwed by Charlynn. While we were waiting to be mounted onto our horse, Chantz's horse was frightened and he ran off and shook Chantz on the floor. Chantz fell stomach down on the ground. He immediately stood up and seems okay. Joe and the others rushed to his side but I stood where I was. I was really calm and "unfeeling". Not worried and just let the people there to lead him away for washing. I remembered only saying"no problem, no pain, no gain, he is alright!". This mother did not react hesterically or worried sick until she could not continue what she was doing. I just took his word that he was okay and by looking at him, he was absolutely alright. He did not even shed a single tear. After he got back, he was put up on another horse and then Joe and I mounted onto our horses. My son is like me - a tough cookie in front of outsiders!
The horse ride was actually quite fun. Charlynn, Chantz and Channery had someone to hold the reins for them but Charles, Joe and I led our own horses. Quite an experience for all of us. I really only became scared after we reached home. What if Chantz was seriously hurt?
Well! Been checking up on him and he really is alright. He even played rough with Charles the night before.
Will I let them go horse riding again? Maybe if they are really keen. The whole experience for the whole family is priceless but the fees is $150 per session.
Will upload more pictures in facebook!
Elizabeth Farm
Yesterday we went to Elizabeth Farm after taking MacDonald breakfast. Boys been there with the school and they liked the place so we decided to visit it. It is actually an old building that has been restored and the furnishings were reconstucted. As the video shows, everything is fake but everything is what it will be during the early settlement.
Write up of Elizabeth Farm
Commenced in 1793, Elizabeth Farm is Australia's oldest European building. With its deep shady verandahs, it became the prototype for the Australian homestead. It was built as the home of John and Elizabeth Macarthur and was the birthplace of the Australian wool industry. The interiors contain reproductions of furnishings and objects belonging to the Macarthurs, giving visitors an authentic glimpse of early l9th century life. Elizabeth Farm is situated in a gloriously recreated 1830s garden. There is a tearoom that serves Devonshire teas and lunch.
The house comprises two parts; the servants quarters of eight rooms and the main house of aound 15 rooms. The home, although large for the time, is a relatively modest dwelling compared to other historic homes such as Vaucluse House and Elizabeth Bay House
The gardens at Elizabeth Farm reflects over 200 years of European tradition and includes some of the oldest exotic plants in Australia.
Want to experience history rather than just read about it? At Elizabeth Farm – Australia’s oldest surviving homestead – you can wander freely through the old house and garden as if you were its original occupants. There are no barriers, locked doors, fragile furniture or untouchable ornaments in this unique, ‘access all areas’ house museum.
Built in 1793 for John Macarthur, known as the father of the wool industry, and his wife Elizabeth, tales of passion and anguish, early colonial political skulduggery and the genesis of Australia’s wool trade are cemented into these walls. So come by, run your hand along the sofa, or simply sit on the shady verandah and enjoy the garden, experience the history and make yourself at home.
At 23, John Macarthur’s military career was in trouble. He arrived in Sydney with a wife and sick child and through speculation and cunning, his wealth and influence grew over a few decades and he became one of the most prosperous colonists in New South Wales.
His ambition and abrasive personality brought him into conflict with successive Governors. On two occasions he travelled to London to defend his name: in 1801 for his part in a duel with Lieutenant-Governor Paterson and in 1808 for his role in deposing Governor Bligh. Exiled in England until 1817 Macarthur pursued commercial opportunities, in particular the promotion of the colony’s fine wool.
Ever an enemy of ‘emancipists’, or freed convicts, who challenged the dominance of landowning ‘exclusives’, Macarthur’s story is coloured with turmoil and conflict. When poor health forced him away from public life in 1832, few were sad to see him go. "He is now a wayward child and remains at home brooding,” said Governor Darling, “but I expect is not altogether idle.”
John Macarthur bought his first sheep in 1794, mostly to eat.
By 1801, the year he was sent to London to face charges of shooting his commanding officer, his flock of over 2000 was the largest in Sydney. With the support of Lord Camden, the promise of 5000 acres of prime grazing land and six of the King’s Spanish Merinos, Macarthur returned to Sydney in 1805 to commence wool production on a large scale. The breeding merinos were kept at Elizabeth Farm while their offspring increased greatly in value, number and reputation on the fertile sheep runs at Camden.
As British industry sought more and more wool, colonial graziers grew rich and powerful. By the 1820s Macarthur’s wool was prized for its quality and abundance – the groundwork laid for Australia’s richest primary industry.
More pictures will be uploaded in my facebook.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Joe and I
We met in university time and now it's been 16 long years. Wow! We have known each other for such a long time and sometimes it feels that we are still behaving like youngsters. Most of the time, we are like the best of friends whereby I will confide in him and he does likewise. Many things have happen along the way and we have somehow came through as one. There are many things in life that we have disagreements on and many things that we have an united stand. To say that we will be forever together is not going to be for sure since we can never know for sure what the future holds. Read a lot of news clips whereby people do silly things during midlife crises and we both have a good laugh at the many things that these "seniors" do. Walking out of marriage, finding a younger partner, getiing flashy car and stuff etc.
Love Joe for being there for me. I have definitely aged and gain many extra pounds over the years and still, he still loves me like I am still the same me sixteen yrs ago.
Why am I writing this?? Well! sometimes we woke up and just look at one another and hear the noises out there in the living room and have to drag ourselves out. We both know now we have to go play Daddy and Mummy roles. Being parents sometimes means we are at opposite army camps but many a times, we make peace and hug and made up. Who knows what happen tomorrow?
Love u Joe for being there for me and helping me grow. I am actually a very childish woman who really needs her papaJoe to guide and dote on her. :>
Love Joe for being there for me. I have definitely aged and gain many extra pounds over the years and still, he still loves me like I am still the same me sixteen yrs ago.
Why am I writing this?? Well! sometimes we woke up and just look at one another and hear the noises out there in the living room and have to drag ourselves out. We both know now we have to go play Daddy and Mummy roles. Being parents sometimes means we are at opposite army camps but many a times, we make peace and hug and made up. Who knows what happen tomorrow?
Love u Joe for being there for me and helping me grow. I am actually a very childish woman who really needs her papaJoe to guide and dote on her. :>
Life's choices
Never feel better now that a decision has been reached. Joe and I are really looking forward to seeing everyone back in Singapore. Life still goes on but I think we should think of duty and other things. Fear of failure is necessary if we wanna make something good out of it. No fear means we will likely take things for granted.
Interesting that sometimes many things will happen and u have to make a totally different decision to cater to the needs of all parties. These few days Charles been really cooperative and we managed to do quite a bit of work. With less scoldings and more coaching, he actually wants to work. Boys like to "waste time" watching television programmes, eating snacks etc before they settled down to do their work. We term wasting time, they term it relaxing. Many a times we lose our temper and scolded them upside down and then they felt fed up and refused to response. That's the kind of situation whereby it is both a lose-lose situation. Telling them work first and play later just won't register in their little heads. They wanna have fun and then do their work. Maybe boys will be like that their whole lives but what can we do??? Push them away with our harsh words and anger or simply wait and help them along the way???? Good habits are cultivated but somehow we have been doing that but they simply heed nothing. What will cause such a lasting impressions that they learn the fact and get on with life with all the right values to exceed?
For those who like to quit and find a new job, being a parent will be a struggle for them. As parents we cannot quit the role and has to carry on working in this "job".It's challenging and a lot of hardwork and sometimes u feelt hat u do not have bonus or rewards. It's endless chores and giving. Being burnt out means we have done something wrong somewhere and need to find solutions to the problems. If feeling overwhelmed, try to take on smaller job scope. Celebrate small success and not trying to complete everything all in the same time. Enjoy the process and see what surprises the job have. Many a times, the rewards roll in slowly and before long, it's time to retire and u will start to miss all the fun.
Parenting is such an interesting job and if I am a boss, I will see how the person treats his family members. Those who are able to take good care of his family will be able to take care of my business.
CRazy thoughts ho but somehow that's what's in my mind now. Gonna publish it anyway.
Interesting that sometimes many things will happen and u have to make a totally different decision to cater to the needs of all parties. These few days Charles been really cooperative and we managed to do quite a bit of work. With less scoldings and more coaching, he actually wants to work. Boys like to "waste time" watching television programmes, eating snacks etc before they settled down to do their work. We term wasting time, they term it relaxing. Many a times we lose our temper and scolded them upside down and then they felt fed up and refused to response. That's the kind of situation whereby it is both a lose-lose situation. Telling them work first and play later just won't register in their little heads. They wanna have fun and then do their work. Maybe boys will be like that their whole lives but what can we do??? Push them away with our harsh words and anger or simply wait and help them along the way???? Good habits are cultivated but somehow we have been doing that but they simply heed nothing. What will cause such a lasting impressions that they learn the fact and get on with life with all the right values to exceed?
For those who like to quit and find a new job, being a parent will be a struggle for them. As parents we cannot quit the role and has to carry on working in this "job".It's challenging and a lot of hardwork and sometimes u feelt hat u do not have bonus or rewards. It's endless chores and giving. Being burnt out means we have done something wrong somewhere and need to find solutions to the problems. If feeling overwhelmed, try to take on smaller job scope. Celebrate small success and not trying to complete everything all in the same time. Enjoy the process and see what surprises the job have. Many a times, the rewards roll in slowly and before long, it's time to retire and u will start to miss all the fun.
Parenting is such an interesting job and if I am a boss, I will see how the person treats his family members. Those who are able to take good care of his family will be able to take care of my business.
CRazy thoughts ho but somehow that's what's in my mind now. Gonna publish it anyway.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Library Day
Every Tuesday and Thursday are our Library days. Tuesday we do rhymes and songs with babies. Thursday is story session cum craft. Channery loves to go there to listen to stories but when I wanna teach her phonics, she would run away. Hope she can read soon if not papa must tell bed time story for many more months.
Cupcakes Day
The people here like to have donation drive to help one another. This time round is cupcakes day. $1 for a cupcakes to help children's hospital. We bought a few to support the cause.
Spiderman son
Last Saturday Charles climbed up to the rooftop after we told him he could not eat the cookie. The other kids were being rewarded for completing their work. He climbed up and refused to come down. After an hour and a half, he finally decided to come down. We bathed him and then sent him to school. He is really a hard nut to crack. See pictures and he even threw a stone at me.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
What's up
These few days I am down with flu so everything seems to lose its colour. Not so enthusiatic about life and seems life is on autopilot mode. Had an outburst of emotion on Monday and Joe was the one to receive my hate mail. Really ought to give love mails but somehow writing down all the frustrations help me to see things more clearly. Joe was still apprehensive and did not know how he should react around me but I had already gotten past that. I did a cleaning up of the whole house and felt really pleased after that. Not too good of me to pile my problems on him but he should try to shoulder some of my resentments since I am the one cooped at home with a child and have no friends to mingle. Really looking forward to going back home whereby I can still go out with friends.
Actually when one falls sick, things seem so grim sometimes and I just do not have the energy to be patient. Last Saturday, my students had a hard time since I was so sick. Those who did not do their homework really had an earful from me. Kids just wanna have fun but what about learning and doing what they had been told? I am not a crazy teacher who gave a lot of homework. I always make sure the kids should be able to complete their work with ease and yet I have students who claimed they had to do school work and other tuition work. Chinese Language is such a beautiful and useful language to master but all these kids just do not see the beauty of it. Pity them and also to my boys who think that we are imposing on them. Boys will regret one day that they never try harder to study the language. We will never give up on having our influence on them but that is really discouraging since they kept thinking otherwise.
Love being useless once in a while. There is no perfection in life until the day our coffin is closed.
Actually when one falls sick, things seem so grim sometimes and I just do not have the energy to be patient. Last Saturday, my students had a hard time since I was so sick. Those who did not do their homework really had an earful from me. Kids just wanna have fun but what about learning and doing what they had been told? I am not a crazy teacher who gave a lot of homework. I always make sure the kids should be able to complete their work with ease and yet I have students who claimed they had to do school work and other tuition work. Chinese Language is such a beautiful and useful language to master but all these kids just do not see the beauty of it. Pity them and also to my boys who think that we are imposing on them. Boys will regret one day that they never try harder to study the language. We will never give up on having our influence on them but that is really discouraging since they kept thinking otherwise.
Love being useless once in a while. There is no perfection in life until the day our coffin is closed.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thoughts Differ
Called up my mother and chit chat with her. She told me that she had just recovered from stomachaches and diarrhea. She said she went to my sis's chalet and probably eaten some uncooked food or the culprit could be the pink guava juice. She said she was feeling rather down lately since she seemed to be getting a lot of illnesses and her health is deteriorating.
After a while, my mum asked how was my mum in law and she commented we are being very cruel to leave my mum-in-law alone in Singapore. She kept saying that old folks need company and even though they said it's alright to be staying so far away, they still miss the company of loved ones.
Frankly speaking, I think my mum belongs to the old generation who thinks life is all about family cohesiveness and togetherness. Nowadays people need space and freedom. I would not want my kids to invade my privacy when they grow up. I would want them to move out when they reach certain age. They should be responsible for themselves and learn to be in charge of their own lives.
As for my mum-in-law, she kept saying she is independent and preferred to have her own life so I think we should respect her decision and keep our distance. Why cling to her when our attentions are not welcomed?
After a while, my mum asked how was my mum in law and she commented we are being very cruel to leave my mum-in-law alone in Singapore. She kept saying that old folks need company and even though they said it's alright to be staying so far away, they still miss the company of loved ones.
Frankly speaking, I think my mum belongs to the old generation who thinks life is all about family cohesiveness and togetherness. Nowadays people need space and freedom. I would not want my kids to invade my privacy when they grow up. I would want them to move out when they reach certain age. They should be responsible for themselves and learn to be in charge of their own lives.
As for my mum-in-law, she kept saying she is independent and preferred to have her own life so I think we should respect her decision and keep our distance. Why cling to her when our attentions are not welcomed?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Putting routine back to life
These two days we were putting routine back to our kids' lives. We have decided that we will go and stroll in the park. We will let the dog out in the lease free park . and the boys can play at the big open field. Healthy lifestyle starts young and it is a good way to get rid of the excess energy my boys have. So far the arrangement is quite okay.
At night, we will have our dinner at 6.30pm and after that they will have free and easy time till 7.30pm. Everyone will have to do reading or homework together at the dining table. The children actually welcome such measures since they can concentrate and do their homework. For us, I can see a big difference in Joe's attitude. He used to be rather frustrated with boys who will find all means to delay doing work and he seemed to scold them all the time since he felt rather frustrated with their behaviour. For me, I am forced to be present. I used to leave the family outside while I find peace and quiet time in the room. Now I read but I am to be seated around them. Actually Joe felt resentment towards me when I stayed in the bedroom reading and leaving the chidren with him. When parents are not united in parenting role, the kids know it and wanna take advantage in getting their ways.
Routine is most important in kids'lives and I really can see the benefits of it for us all.
At night, we will have our dinner at 6.30pm and after that they will have free and easy time till 7.30pm. Everyone will have to do reading or homework together at the dining table. The children actually welcome such measures since they can concentrate and do their homework. For us, I can see a big difference in Joe's attitude. He used to be rather frustrated with boys who will find all means to delay doing work and he seemed to scold them all the time since he felt rather frustrated with their behaviour. For me, I am forced to be present. I used to leave the family outside while I find peace and quiet time in the room. Now I read but I am to be seated around them. Actually Joe felt resentment towards me when I stayed in the bedroom reading and leaving the chidren with him. When parents are not united in parenting role, the kids know it and wanna take advantage in getting their ways.
Routine is most important in kids'lives and I really can see the benefits of it for us all.
Parent Teacher Meeting
I was really not impressed at all by Charles's teacher. If I could show some pictures or video, you will understand my fear. The class is filled with litter, things not kept properly. PE equipment at one corner. Nothing beautiful or meaningful on the wall and storybooks are probably threw on bookcase and so on. It was definitely no a conducive environment. Nobody bother to clean up and nobody takes pride in their class. I think it is no wonder Charles's work is so messy and untidy this year. The teacher probably is one that can tolerate messiness.
The teacher was rather stunned when I commented that her classroom was too dirty. I told her that I could see that her students do not take pride in keeping the class clean. She recovered after a while and I think she got my meaning. The next day Charles came back and told us they helped to clean up the class. I am no expert but I know i feel very fed up and frustrated when I am in an untidy room. The clutter is no good also since it is unhygienic and likely to breed insects.
According to Fengshui, a very untidy room will invite negative energy. All the stagnant places breed "Yin1 Qi4". People get negative easily and their mental and physical health deteriorates.
So if you feel that nothing seems to be working well in yr workplace or house, it's is time for spring cleaning. A house that stores many old newspaper and magazines means u are deliberately keeping all the negative things since all these materials only reports death, divorce and many unfortunate events.
I chose to clear up when I feel down. Always works to uplift my spirits seeing an unclutter place.
The teacher was rather stunned when I commented that her classroom was too dirty. I told her that I could see that her students do not take pride in keeping the class clean. She recovered after a while and I think she got my meaning. The next day Charles came back and told us they helped to clean up the class. I am no expert but I know i feel very fed up and frustrated when I am in an untidy room. The clutter is no good also since it is unhygienic and likely to breed insects.
According to Fengshui, a very untidy room will invite negative energy. All the stagnant places breed "Yin1 Qi4". People get negative easily and their mental and physical health deteriorates.
So if you feel that nothing seems to be working well in yr workplace or house, it's is time for spring cleaning. A house that stores many old newspaper and magazines means u are deliberately keeping all the negative things since all these materials only reports death, divorce and many unfortunate events.
I chose to clear up when I feel down. Always works to uplift my spirits seeing an unclutter place.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Letter from Mother in Law
Received a letter from mother in law yesterday. She sounded happy that she does not have to live with me. She even said that I should not blame myself that we could not stay together as that's life. She said that every household has a story to tell and she really thinks staying in Toa Payoh is best for her. She has everything she needs and old friends nearby. She said that she is getting older and she finds child rearing job really taxing. It is best that I will be the one to fill in the role.
Frankly speaking, I am most grateful to her. She has fulfilled her job by raising my hubby and it is not fair for her to do the job again. In fact, she has been helping us to raise my kids where I was not around. At that time, I was always busy - work, grassroot work, study and other commitments. With her around, I was able to excuse myself and do all those things without feeling guilty.
Now staying home with kids and I realized it is really a tiring and demanding job. Grandparents should have the role of grandparents and parents are supposed to do theirs. Discipline are to be carried out by parents if not all parties will feel confused and cheated or even resentment. Grandparents are to just giving some advice and be the doting grandparents.
Frankly speaking, I am most grateful to her. She has fulfilled her job by raising my hubby and it is not fair for her to do the job again. In fact, she has been helping us to raise my kids where I was not around. At that time, I was always busy - work, grassroot work, study and other commitments. With her around, I was able to excuse myself and do all those things without feeling guilty.
Now staying home with kids and I realized it is really a tiring and demanding job. Grandparents should have the role of grandparents and parents are supposed to do theirs. Discipline are to be carried out by parents if not all parties will feel confused and cheated or even resentment. Grandparents are to just giving some advice and be the doting grandparents.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Picture of Chantz's cut
Told Chantz I will upload his picture online but never go about doing it. Well! This is it. This picture was taken on the 2nd day after he had the antibiotic for a day. His eyelid was so swollen that he could barely open his eye. In this picture, the swelling had already started to subside. A small cut and one could go blind or have brain infection. Really do not understand those who drank and fought. Many cases whereby the eye sockets of victims were so badly damaged here in Australia that doctors were urging government to do something about it.
What's yr thoughts?
Everyday I will check facebook to see what my friends were doing and sometimes there are good news and sometimes there are bad ones. Being so far away means you can't be there for them when they need a shoulder to cry on or having someone to celebrate with them.
Actually writing all the posts and I wondered if anyone really does read them. I am trying to acknowledge others whenever I see a post from them. Actually, when sending out a post and receiving a note that someone has read it is most assuring. When u write a post, you kinda give a little of your true self. Sometimes, there is no need to comment since other friends have commented but having different views and opinions are most interesting. Frankly speaking, I hide most of the games, farms posting/invitations since I realized I do not like having them taking up space. when I do that, people can also choose to hide my posts too. Maybe there are friends who are so fed up with my postings that they hide my entries forever :>
Btw my friends commented I am too serious in my response many a times. Well! If everything goes and nobody dares to speak their minds or the truth, something is definitely going to give. I am honest and try to be sensitive but somehow " 言者无心 听者有意”。 I am not preaching anyone but I am definitely not comfortable to be the bypasser and choose not to do anything.
I have many friends whom I think are worthy to befriend but somehow they kinda disappoint me. Whenever I send them a message/ smile/ hug, they choose to ignore. That is most frustrating as it might have many meaning... They don't really regard u as friend or that they simply too "bochap". Anyway, I will be a saint if I say that I am not affected by the lack of affection from these friends. On the other hand, once in a while, I received some "attentions" from friends and I will be so happy. My life does not revolve around my friends but having some acknowlegemnet is like striking lottery.
I have decided to limit my time on facebook so that I have time for other things. I have not been reading as much as I used to do so maybe its time to catch up with my readings. The lastest book I am reading is " Bringing up boys" and I seem to lack motivation to finish it. Lack of concentration since I am always distracted to go facebook.
Actually writing all the posts and I wondered if anyone really does read them. I am trying to acknowledge others whenever I see a post from them. Actually, when sending out a post and receiving a note that someone has read it is most assuring. When u write a post, you kinda give a little of your true self. Sometimes, there is no need to comment since other friends have commented but having different views and opinions are most interesting. Frankly speaking, I hide most of the games, farms posting/invitations since I realized I do not like having them taking up space. when I do that, people can also choose to hide my posts too. Maybe there are friends who are so fed up with my postings that they hide my entries forever :>
Btw my friends commented I am too serious in my response many a times. Well! If everything goes and nobody dares to speak their minds or the truth, something is definitely going to give. I am honest and try to be sensitive but somehow " 言者无心 听者有意”。 I am not preaching anyone but I am definitely not comfortable to be the bypasser and choose not to do anything.
I have many friends whom I think are worthy to befriend but somehow they kinda disappoint me. Whenever I send them a message/ smile/ hug, they choose to ignore. That is most frustrating as it might have many meaning... They don't really regard u as friend or that they simply too "bochap". Anyway, I will be a saint if I say that I am not affected by the lack of affection from these friends. On the other hand, once in a while, I received some "attentions" from friends and I will be so happy. My life does not revolve around my friends but having some acknowlegemnet is like striking lottery.
I have decided to limit my time on facebook so that I have time for other things. I have not been reading as much as I used to do so maybe its time to catch up with my readings. The lastest book I am reading is " Bringing up boys" and I seem to lack motivation to finish it. Lack of concentration since I am always distracted to go facebook.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Orange picking
This afternoon we drove out to Penrith to pick oranges at one of the orchards there. We had lunch at Macdonald first and then drove about an hour there. The weather was fantastic and we were feeling quite happy to be out after a few weeks of cold winter air and staying indoors.
When we reached there, the oranges were to be sold at $2/kg and we think it is actually a reasonable sprice. We walked about 5 mins and came to the many orange trees lining alongside the road. We picked the big ones that have the navel orange bottoms - meaning having a hole at the underside.
After about half an hour, the children were finally satisfied and we went to weigh our oranges. To our surprise, we ended up with 13 kgs and so had to pay $26 for all the oranges. Kids were really happy to pick their own fruit and the experience would probably stay with them.
On our way home, I realized something was wrong with the accelerator. The car could not pick up speed and I had to have an emergency stop with my hazard lights on at the side of the road. Joe tried and we decided to push it to aside. The vehicle was heavy and two passerby came to our rescue and helped to push the car. After w cut the engine and restarted it, it moved again. We thought all was well but after moving for 500m, the car could not move again. We stopped and restarted the car and it moved for nearly a kilometer before the same thing happened. Altogether we stopped 3 times and with God's bless,finally reached home.
First thing in the morning, Joe is going to send the car for repair. Hopefully it will not cost a bomb. We suspected something wrong with pump. Will see what the mechanic say.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Toyota Wish Vs Honda Stream
I am thinking of getting a used MPV when I go back so I started looking at used cars. Always a die hard Toytota Fan but now might consider trying Honda stream after reading the many reviews on these 2 cars. Not going to buy a new car since we tend to change cars evey 2 -3 yrs and now that I am not working, we must be prudent. We are using used car in Australia and I think used car is just as good as brand new drive.
One interesting review as follow:
Now my interest is roused again with the Stream and Wish. They are both quite comparable compact MPVs. Both are 3-row, 7 seater, 1.8L engine, and very similar size. Here’s my quick run down of their more “objective” features
» The Stream has a better engine. The Stream’s engine does 103kW at 6300rpm and 174Nm at 4300rpm, while the Wish’s does 97kW at 6000rpm and 170Nm at 4200rpm. The Stream’s engine is supposed to be more hi-tech.
» The Stream has better automatic transmission. The Stream gets a 5-speed automatic transmission, while the Wish has a 4-speed automatic transmission. At highway speeds of 100km/h, the Stream’s engine runs at 400rpm slower than the Wish’s. Usually, lesser RPM means more fuel economy.
» The Stream’s third row is more spacious. The Stream’s internal width in the third row is 990mm, while the Wish’s is 800mm. Passenger’s feet in the third row cannot rest flat on the floor in the Wish, which makes the traveling experience more uncomfortable. Access to the third row is easier on the Stream with the lever to fold away the second row seats on the seat shoulder.
» The Stream has better brakes. They both have ventilated disc brakes in the front. But while the Stream has disc brakes for the back, the Wish only sports drum brakes at the back. Most of the braking force is provided by the front, so the difference may not be terribly significant. But for the best safety, disc brakes all around is definitely better. They look nicer too.
» The Stream is more fuel efficient. The stated 10-15 mode fuel consumption for the Stream is 14.8km/l, and 14.4km/l for the Wish. Fuel efficiency depends on many other factors too, and overall tends to be a very illusive number to reliably pin down in real world driving conditions, so I’m not sure how much to believe these numbers as being objective.
» The Wish costs less upfront to buy. The basic price already has “everything” thrown in (or can be bargained for): fog lights, full body kit, scuff plates, etc.
» The in-house finance package for Wish has a lower interest rate. The package from Borneo Motors has a 1.99% interest rate, whereas it is 2.2% from Kah Motors. The difference is not very significant ($21 per $10K loan per year), and it may not matter anyway if you don’t take the loan.
» The Wish has cheaper servicing cost. For servicing packages from 1K to 80K, the overall servicing cost for the Wish from Borneo Motors is $2737, while Stream from Kah Motors is $2893. I couldn’t find the 1K servicing cost for Wish, so I assume it to be the same as 10K (it ought to be less). Of course, one could go to 3rd party workshop, but during warranty period I will probably want to go to the authorized agent.
In a nutshell, the Wish is cheaper to own, but the Stream has superior specifications (but not necessary in add-ons/accessories).
Then, the more “subjective” features (which of course everyone may have a different view because it’s all about personal preferences):
» Looks: The Stream body definitely looks better than the Wish. In particular, I dislike the Wish’s back view. But I prefer the Wish’s headlight assembly.
» I prefer the Wish’s centre console. It looks more “advanced” than the Stream’s.
» But I like the Stream’s driver’s instruments better.
» Anecdotal feedback from owners seem to show that the Wish is more fuel efficient.
The most subjective thing is that I just prefer Hondas over Toyotas. Not that there is really anything really wrong with Toyotas. Buying cars is not all about logic. (Sometimes maybe even hardly at all!)
One interesting review as follow:
Now my interest is roused again with the Stream and Wish. They are both quite comparable compact MPVs. Both are 3-row, 7 seater, 1.8L engine, and very similar size. Here’s my quick run down of their more “objective” features
» The Stream has a better engine. The Stream’s engine does 103kW at 6300rpm and 174Nm at 4300rpm, while the Wish’s does 97kW at 6000rpm and 170Nm at 4200rpm. The Stream’s engine is supposed to be more hi-tech.
» The Stream has better automatic transmission. The Stream gets a 5-speed automatic transmission, while the Wish has a 4-speed automatic transmission. At highway speeds of 100km/h, the Stream’s engine runs at 400rpm slower than the Wish’s. Usually, lesser RPM means more fuel economy.
» The Stream’s third row is more spacious. The Stream’s internal width in the third row is 990mm, while the Wish’s is 800mm. Passenger’s feet in the third row cannot rest flat on the floor in the Wish, which makes the traveling experience more uncomfortable. Access to the third row is easier on the Stream with the lever to fold away the second row seats on the seat shoulder.
» The Stream has better brakes. They both have ventilated disc brakes in the front. But while the Stream has disc brakes for the back, the Wish only sports drum brakes at the back. Most of the braking force is provided by the front, so the difference may not be terribly significant. But for the best safety, disc brakes all around is definitely better. They look nicer too.
» The Stream is more fuel efficient. The stated 10-15 mode fuel consumption for the Stream is 14.8km/l, and 14.4km/l for the Wish. Fuel efficiency depends on many other factors too, and overall tends to be a very illusive number to reliably pin down in real world driving conditions, so I’m not sure how much to believe these numbers as being objective.
» The Wish costs less upfront to buy. The basic price already has “everything” thrown in (or can be bargained for): fog lights, full body kit, scuff plates, etc.
» The in-house finance package for Wish has a lower interest rate. The package from Borneo Motors has a 1.99% interest rate, whereas it is 2.2% from Kah Motors. The difference is not very significant ($21 per $10K loan per year), and it may not matter anyway if you don’t take the loan.
» The Wish has cheaper servicing cost. For servicing packages from 1K to 80K, the overall servicing cost for the Wish from Borneo Motors is $2737, while Stream from Kah Motors is $2893. I couldn’t find the 1K servicing cost for Wish, so I assume it to be the same as 10K (it ought to be less). Of course, one could go to 3rd party workshop, but during warranty period I will probably want to go to the authorized agent.
In a nutshell, the Wish is cheaper to own, but the Stream has superior specifications (but not necessary in add-ons/accessories).
Then, the more “subjective” features (which of course everyone may have a different view because it’s all about personal preferences):
» Looks: The Stream body definitely looks better than the Wish. In particular, I dislike the Wish’s back view. But I prefer the Wish’s headlight assembly.
» I prefer the Wish’s centre console. It looks more “advanced” than the Stream’s.
» But I like the Stream’s driver’s instruments better.
» Anecdotal feedback from owners seem to show that the Wish is more fuel efficient.
The most subjective thing is that I just prefer Hondas over Toyotas. Not that there is really anything really wrong with Toyotas. Buying cars is not all about logic. (Sometimes maybe even hardly at all!)
To stay or not to stay
Frankly speaking, Joe is okay with whatever decision I made. He is afraid that I am the one who could not handle the kids and MIL. To go back earlier means kids will be able to get used to the Singapor Education system right from the start with their peers and they might feel better. If they were to go back in the middle of the year, they might have a hard time trying to know everyone and catching up the school work.
As for staying here, Joe will be happy and yet stressed at the same time. Happy as he has me to take care of his needs and whatever problems we can iron them easily. Stressful as it will be the last few crucial months and he might be so tired and kids' behaviour might drive him up the walls. Actually the kids' education here is paid for till March 2010. We can stay here and go back till then. If that is the case, we will only have to stay with mum in law for a month or so only.
As for me, I am actually thinking it should be alright to go back now even though I have to stay with my mil. Called up my mum the other day and she said I should come back and stay with mil so as to build the relationship again. She thinks old folks are lonely and really like to have loved ones around them. She has a point I know. Staying apart is really a way to avoid interaction rather accepting each other.
Well! Let me stew and think about it for a while la. Love going back and this time round maybe it;s not going to be so bad. As for Joe, without us around, he might concentrate and do better. will keep you all update if we going back in Dec 2009 or April 2010 K. If going back in April, I am sorry to say to Hong and my family that we won't be around for another 4 months then.
As for staying here, Joe will be happy and yet stressed at the same time. Happy as he has me to take care of his needs and whatever problems we can iron them easily. Stressful as it will be the last few crucial months and he might be so tired and kids' behaviour might drive him up the walls. Actually the kids' education here is paid for till March 2010. We can stay here and go back till then. If that is the case, we will only have to stay with mum in law for a month or so only.
As for me, I am actually thinking it should be alright to go back now even though I have to stay with my mil. Called up my mum the other day and she said I should come back and stay with mil so as to build the relationship again. She thinks old folks are lonely and really like to have loved ones around them. She has a point I know. Staying apart is really a way to avoid interaction rather accepting each other.
Well! Let me stew and think about it for a while la. Love going back and this time round maybe it;s not going to be so bad. As for Joe, without us around, he might concentrate and do better. will keep you all update if we going back in Dec 2009 or April 2010 K. If going back in April, I am sorry to say to Hong and my family that we won't be around for another 4 months then.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Not going back in Dec afterall
Sent out the email to inform my tenant that we won't be renting to them and they were really not happy about it. The lease was for 2 yrs but the landlord and tenant can terminate the lease by giving 3 months notice. Their reason is that moving house is not an easy task and we should not just inform them and expect them to move out in Dec. Well! No problem la. If they want to stay till May 2010, we can always stay with my mum in law or go back later. Told Joe to write an email to them telling them they can stay on as planned. We really not going to break our promise and cause any inconveniences on their part.
Actually staying here is a good idea since Joe is worried that he might not be finishing his work by next year. He thinks it is better to stay here and go back in April. We will see how things work out. Staying with my mum in law is not a good idea but still it is okay. With children to ferry around everyday, I really do not have much time to worry la. If I choose to stay with mil, I will ferry Charlynn and Channery to school and go back at around 9am. After resting for a while, I will bring boys to school and picking Charlynn up at the same time. In between, I have 5 hrs before picking Channery and then the boys up. Joe thinks this is a very tiring lifestyle but I know it is feasible la.
Nothing is comfirmed yet as we still need to find out more info before making a decision. Maybe sticking to original plan to stay till May is a better option for Joe and me. Who knows? Will work out eventually la.
Actually staying here is a good idea since Joe is worried that he might not be finishing his work by next year. He thinks it is better to stay here and go back in April. We will see how things work out. Staying with my mum in law is not a good idea but still it is okay. With children to ferry around everyday, I really do not have much time to worry la. If I choose to stay with mil, I will ferry Charlynn and Channery to school and go back at around 9am. After resting for a while, I will bring boys to school and picking Charlynn up at the same time. In between, I have 5 hrs before picking Channery and then the boys up. Joe thinks this is a very tiring lifestyle but I know it is feasible la.
Nothing is comfirmed yet as we still need to find out more info before making a decision. Maybe sticking to original plan to stay till May is a better option for Joe and me. Who knows? Will work out eventually la.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Amazing willpower
Yesterday Channery was not a good girl. She insisted on sleeping on our bed and ended up kicking us and moving around. Abt 2 am, she got up and decided to go back to her own bed. I was made to sleep together with her and she knew when I got up and wanted to get back to my own bed so I stayed on till about 5am before I finally made my way back to my own bed. Always find it hard to share a bed with her since she is such a bad sleeping partner. Wondered why she has to move around so much and kicking so much.
Yesterday we went out to leash free park with JJ. The boys did not complete their work so they stayed at home instead. In the end, we found them happily playing and did not attempt to do work at all. They simply enjoyed the warm weather so much. Told Joe we will just take away their priviledges like dining or going out, computer and TV time. Screaming our heads off and smacking them are not working. They have choices to make. Either finish what they have to do or no rewards and priviledges. Charlynn will have Macdonald breakfast on Sat if she finishes her work on time. Boys too if they could finish everything including those that they had not done over the weeks. Yesterday they had the first taste of not having the ice cream the girls have. More to come to make them regret their choices of not doing their work. Saturday they still went to school as I threatened them saying they will stay at home on Wednesday if they missed CL class. Wednesday is their Rugby day so they cooperated.
I am really amazed with the boys willpower to revolt against our wishes. They are die hard stubborn in trying to skip doing work. Why can't they channel their energies and effort in doing the work rather than trying to avoid doing them??
Love them and teaching them the right values is most important.
Yesterday we went out to leash free park with JJ. The boys did not complete their work so they stayed at home instead. In the end, we found them happily playing and did not attempt to do work at all. They simply enjoyed the warm weather so much. Told Joe we will just take away their priviledges like dining or going out, computer and TV time. Screaming our heads off and smacking them are not working. They have choices to make. Either finish what they have to do or no rewards and priviledges. Charlynn will have Macdonald breakfast on Sat if she finishes her work on time. Boys too if they could finish everything including those that they had not done over the weeks. Yesterday they had the first taste of not having the ice cream the girls have. More to come to make them regret their choices of not doing their work. Saturday they still went to school as I threatened them saying they will stay at home on Wednesday if they missed CL class. Wednesday is their Rugby day so they cooperated.
I am really amazed with the boys willpower to revolt against our wishes. They are die hard stubborn in trying to skip doing work. Why can't they channel their energies and effort in doing the work rather than trying to avoid doing them??
Love them and teaching them the right values is most important.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
13 Tips for Daughter-in-Law to Get Along with Mother-in-Law
13 Tips for Daughter-in-Law to Get Along with Mother-in-Law
1. Sensitivity to mother-in-law's feelings: remember, your mother-in-law has spent 18+ years raising her son and may be sensitive to another person in his life. Although many mothers do not consider her daughter-in-law competition, there are some mothers who do, in particular those whose life revolved around their child, often because they are a single parent or had only one child, a son.
So, for example, if she is used to his calling her several times a week, then let them keep that connection. If your mother-in-law mentions how much her son always liked her home cooking, do not try to compete with how much he likes your cooking.
2. Positive attitude: convey a positive attitude toward your mother-in-law. Perhaps she is only trying her best and is new to being a mother-in-law.
3. Expectations: do not expect to be automatically welcomed into the family. You may be one of the fortunate ones who is welcomed with open arms, but many daughter-in-laws are not. Getting to know his family takes time and patience.
4. Communicate feelings: do not let hurt feelings build up. Always discuss with your husband any slights or snubs from your mother-in-law and how it makes you feel. It is up to your husband to help and support you.
5. Advice from mother-in-law: welcome advice from your mother-in-law. She has years of experience. You may disagree with her and decide to not follow any of her suggestions, but be open to different ideas, at least listen, show respect, and do not take any advice as a personal attack. She is only trying to be helpful.
6. Mother-in-Law guest in home: treat your mother-in-law as you would any guest with the same courtesy. Sit and chat, show her around town, and if she wants to help you prepare meals, then let her. You two can get to know each other better and bond. If she prefers to sit around being waited on hand and foot, then enlist your husband to help prepare meals and clean up. What attitude would you have with any other guest? Have a similar attitude and expectation of your mother-in-law.
7. Raising children: unless it involves serious health or safety issues, let your mother-in-law take care of your children. If she wants to, let her spoil them a little, i.e. she lets them stay slightly past their bedtime or gives them a bit of candy.
8. Holidays: make every effort to include your mother-in-law during holiday celebrations as much as possible. If necessary, alternate the holidays, i.e. Thanksgiving with your folks, but Christmas with his, then vice versa the following year. Or, celebrate the day before or after the holiday.
9. Equality: treat your mother-in-law equally to your own mother, i.e. if you give your mother a birthday gift, then give your mother-in-law a gift for her birthday. If you have children, then visit your mother and your mother-in-law with similar frequency.
10. Keep mother-in-law informed: call and let her know about important events. Keep her in the loop. If you have children, send pictures to your mother-in-law. Grandmothers love getting pictures of their grandchildren.
11. Thank you notes: make sure you and your children write your mother-in-law thank you notes for birthday or special gifts from her. Your mother-in-law may be a traditional woman who expects to receive thank you notes, not just verbal thanks. It's best to err on the side of over-doing it than under-doing it. See letter, "Thank You Note Guidelines for Kids" in Section 4-8.
12. Respect: treat your mother-in-law with respect. Consider her older and wiser. She may have been through a lot of hardships in her life. In fact, talk to her, ask her about her childhood, growing up, raising kids, and life experiences.
13. Extreme negative situation: if you are involved with an impossibly negative mother-in-law, then read the letter,
"In-Law Problems Can Be Worked Out" below.
In-law problems can be worked out. Here's how to start:
1. Keep your contacts with them to a minimum. Spend as little time with them as possible. Do not invite them over unless it's absolutely necessary. If they want come over and visit, then let them be entertained by your husband and son while you go run an errand, or make yourself scarce somewhere around the house.
2. Your husband needs to be supportive of you. If his parents snub you in any way, it's his responsibility to put a stop to it. They are his parents, so it is best that he speak up. Otherwise, it just gives the in-laws more reason to disapprove of you. His support of you is not being disloyal to his parents. It simply shows his parents that he respects you, and they must as well.
3. Do not invest yourself emotionally in them. Do not hope for a close relationship with them; their actions show it will never happen. Keep reminding yourself that they are the ones with the problem. Do not go out of your way to please them. For example, if it's their birthday, then it is your husband's responsibility to buy the card/gift and send it to them on behalf of both of you.
4. When around them, act pleasant so as not to give them any ammunition with which to use against you. Being pleasant does not mean you allow them to insult you. If they do insult you, shrug it off in a humorous way, then leave the room and busy yourself with something else.
5. You and your husband should see a marriage counselor to obtain guidance on how to strengthen your marriage and cope with specific in-law problems.
Info from http://www.drdaveanddee.com/inlaws.html
1. Sensitivity to mother-in-law's feelings: remember, your mother-in-law has spent 18+ years raising her son and may be sensitive to another person in his life. Although many mothers do not consider her daughter-in-law competition, there are some mothers who do, in particular those whose life revolved around their child, often because they are a single parent or had only one child, a son.
So, for example, if she is used to his calling her several times a week, then let them keep that connection. If your mother-in-law mentions how much her son always liked her home cooking, do not try to compete with how much he likes your cooking.
2. Positive attitude: convey a positive attitude toward your mother-in-law. Perhaps she is only trying her best and is new to being a mother-in-law.
3. Expectations: do not expect to be automatically welcomed into the family. You may be one of the fortunate ones who is welcomed with open arms, but many daughter-in-laws are not. Getting to know his family takes time and patience.
4. Communicate feelings: do not let hurt feelings build up. Always discuss with your husband any slights or snubs from your mother-in-law and how it makes you feel. It is up to your husband to help and support you.
5. Advice from mother-in-law: welcome advice from your mother-in-law. She has years of experience. You may disagree with her and decide to not follow any of her suggestions, but be open to different ideas, at least listen, show respect, and do not take any advice as a personal attack. She is only trying to be helpful.
6. Mother-in-Law guest in home: treat your mother-in-law as you would any guest with the same courtesy. Sit and chat, show her around town, and if she wants to help you prepare meals, then let her. You two can get to know each other better and bond. If she prefers to sit around being waited on hand and foot, then enlist your husband to help prepare meals and clean up. What attitude would you have with any other guest? Have a similar attitude and expectation of your mother-in-law.
7. Raising children: unless it involves serious health or safety issues, let your mother-in-law take care of your children. If she wants to, let her spoil them a little, i.e. she lets them stay slightly past their bedtime or gives them a bit of candy.
8. Holidays: make every effort to include your mother-in-law during holiday celebrations as much as possible. If necessary, alternate the holidays, i.e. Thanksgiving with your folks, but Christmas with his, then vice versa the following year. Or, celebrate the day before or after the holiday.
9. Equality: treat your mother-in-law equally to your own mother, i.e. if you give your mother a birthday gift, then give your mother-in-law a gift for her birthday. If you have children, then visit your mother and your mother-in-law with similar frequency.
10. Keep mother-in-law informed: call and let her know about important events. Keep her in the loop. If you have children, send pictures to your mother-in-law. Grandmothers love getting pictures of their grandchildren.
11. Thank you notes: make sure you and your children write your mother-in-law thank you notes for birthday or special gifts from her. Your mother-in-law may be a traditional woman who expects to receive thank you notes, not just verbal thanks. It's best to err on the side of over-doing it than under-doing it. See letter, "Thank You Note Guidelines for Kids" in Section 4-8.
12. Respect: treat your mother-in-law with respect. Consider her older and wiser. She may have been through a lot of hardships in her life. In fact, talk to her, ask her about her childhood, growing up, raising kids, and life experiences.
13. Extreme negative situation: if you are involved with an impossibly negative mother-in-law, then read the letter,
"In-Law Problems Can Be Worked Out" below.
In-law problems can be worked out. Here's how to start:
1. Keep your contacts with them to a minimum. Spend as little time with them as possible. Do not invite them over unless it's absolutely necessary. If they want come over and visit, then let them be entertained by your husband and son while you go run an errand, or make yourself scarce somewhere around the house.
2. Your husband needs to be supportive of you. If his parents snub you in any way, it's his responsibility to put a stop to it. They are his parents, so it is best that he speak up. Otherwise, it just gives the in-laws more reason to disapprove of you. His support of you is not being disloyal to his parents. It simply shows his parents that he respects you, and they must as well.
3. Do not invest yourself emotionally in them. Do not hope for a close relationship with them; their actions show it will never happen. Keep reminding yourself that they are the ones with the problem. Do not go out of your way to please them. For example, if it's their birthday, then it is your husband's responsibility to buy the card/gift and send it to them on behalf of both of you.
4. When around them, act pleasant so as not to give them any ammunition with which to use against you. Being pleasant does not mean you allow them to insult you. If they do insult you, shrug it off in a humorous way, then leave the room and busy yourself with something else.
5. You and your husband should see a marriage counselor to obtain guidance on how to strengthen your marriage and cope with specific in-law problems.
Info from http://www.drdaveanddee.com/inlaws.html
17 Tips for Mother-in-Law to Get Along with Daughter-in-Law
17 Tips for Mother-in-Law to Get Along with Daughter-in-Law
1. Include your daughter-in-law's name on all correspondence intended for both of them. In other words, do not address the envelope only to your son, unless it is a card for his birthday or other personal reason.
2. Treat your son and daughter-in-law equally. If you send your son a birthday card, then send your daughter-in-law a card for her birthday.
3. Treat all grandchildren equally whether biological or not. Treat grandchildren from all your children equally. Grandchildren from your son should be treated equally and lovingly to those of your daughter.
4. Treat all children of your son and daughter-in-law equally. If your son marries someone who has children from a previous marriage, treat them as you would your own grandchildren.
5. Always call before stopping by to visit.
6. Limit your phone calls to once a week, unless there is something important to discuss. You can email as much as you like.
7. Be neutral: never take sides if your son and daughter-in-law have an argument.
8. When visiting, limit overnight stays to no more than one week, unless you are invited to stay longer.
9. Do not spoil your grandchildren with unhealthy foods. You love them and want them to learn healthy eating habits that will last a lifetime.
10. Do not overspend on gifts for your grandchildren, especially if it is extravagant and more than what the parents could have afforded. Your love and attention are more important than materialistic items.
11. Be appreciative of efforts by the daughter-in-law: if she cooks you a meal, thank her and let her know how much you enjoyed it.
12. Be helpful: if your daughter-in-law in the kitchen cooking, go in and help. You can get to know her better and bond.
13. Offer advice only when asked, especially with regards to raising children.
14. Respect the rules of your son and daughter-in-law in their home, i.e. shoes off in the house; if you are babysitting, then honor bedtime rules.
15. Do not let other family members make your daughter-in-law feel unwelcome.
16. Be flexible about the holidays: do not expect your son and daughter-in-law to be with you every holiday dinner on the actual day. For example, they may need to alternate dinners with you and her folks having Thanksgiving with you and Christmas with her folks or vice versa. Or, they may need to celebrate the day before or the day after.
17. Communicate: express how you feel if your feelings are hurt or you feel left out.
1. Include your daughter-in-law's name on all correspondence intended for both of them. In other words, do not address the envelope only to your son, unless it is a card for his birthday or other personal reason.
2. Treat your son and daughter-in-law equally. If you send your son a birthday card, then send your daughter-in-law a card for her birthday.
3. Treat all grandchildren equally whether biological or not. Treat grandchildren from all your children equally. Grandchildren from your son should be treated equally and lovingly to those of your daughter.
4. Treat all children of your son and daughter-in-law equally. If your son marries someone who has children from a previous marriage, treat them as you would your own grandchildren.
5. Always call before stopping by to visit.
6. Limit your phone calls to once a week, unless there is something important to discuss. You can email as much as you like.
7. Be neutral: never take sides if your son and daughter-in-law have an argument.
8. When visiting, limit overnight stays to no more than one week, unless you are invited to stay longer.
9. Do not spoil your grandchildren with unhealthy foods. You love them and want them to learn healthy eating habits that will last a lifetime.
10. Do not overspend on gifts for your grandchildren, especially if it is extravagant and more than what the parents could have afforded. Your love and attention are more important than materialistic items.
11. Be appreciative of efforts by the daughter-in-law: if she cooks you a meal, thank her and let her know how much you enjoyed it.
12. Be helpful: if your daughter-in-law in the kitchen cooking, go in and help. You can get to know her better and bond.
13. Offer advice only when asked, especially with regards to raising children.
14. Respect the rules of your son and daughter-in-law in their home, i.e. shoes off in the house; if you are babysitting, then honor bedtime rules.
15. Do not let other family members make your daughter-in-law feel unwelcome.
16. Be flexible about the holidays: do not expect your son and daughter-in-law to be with you every holiday dinner on the actual day. For example, they may need to alternate dinners with you and her folks having Thanksgiving with you and Christmas with her folks or vice versa. Or, they may need to celebrate the day before or the day after.
17. Communicate: express how you feel if your feelings are hurt or you feel left out.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Divorce - what to lose
Watched " Jon& KatePlus 8: Surviving sextuplets and twins" last night. The show shows a pair of parents trying to cope with everyday life with 8 children. The twins born in 2008 and 6 babies - sextuplets in 2004. Latest update was that the couple had already filed for a divorce. Actually I feel rather sad for all the 8 of them. For the couple who could not communicate and iron out their differences and forgetting why they chose each other in the first place and for the 8 children who will have to be separated and not having both parents around to pamper them. The couple's relationship is doomed to fail since they allowed the public to see what their family was doing in reality show. Lots of struggles for young parents and Joe and I had them too. It is always easy to just take the easy way out and walk away from the relationship.
From Wikipedia:
Kate is one of five children; she has three sisters and a brother. Jon is the middle child of three boys. The couple met on October 5, 1997 at a picnic and they were married on June 12, 1999.
The Gosselins' desire to start a family was met with infertility. Kate underwent medical testing and was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. The couple turned to fertility treatments and immediately began intrauterine insemination. In February 2000, Kate became pregnant with twins, born six minutes apart.
They began thinking of having another child and, according to Kate, a biracial infant of a teenage girl became available to adopt while Kate was an obstetrics nurse. They decided not to adopt the baby, but instead returned to fertility treatment. In October 2003, Kate became pregnant again. Five weeks later, (after being hospitalized for over-stimulated ovaries) at the initial ultrasound, the doctor announced that there were six sacs with seven yolks (embryos). According to Kate, this was emotional news for them. The doctor suggested selective reduction, but the couple was strongly against it.
The sextuplets were born on May 10, 2004 at Penn State Milton S. Hershey Medical Center in Hershey, Pennsylvania. All six children were delivered via a Caesarean section within a span of three minutes with more than fifty doctors, nurses, and other specialists involved. Because the sextuplets were born in Hershey, they were called "Hershey Kisses" by the nurses and doctors who delivered them. In late 2008, the family moved from their Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania home to a larger residence in Lower Heidelberg Township, Pennsylvania.
In April 2009, it was reported that Jon was having an affair after he was spotted late one night with various women and leaving with one of them. The couple has denied these allegations, saying the woman Jon left with was just a friend. However the woman's brother insists that she was romantically involved with Jon. This is supported by the existence of video and photographs of Jon with Deanna Hummel. Kate has also been accused of having a personal relationship with one of her bodyguards, Steve Neild. Kate has denied the allegations, stating that she requires a bodyguard for protection.
Kate has said these issues will be addressed throughout the fifth season of their show. In the season premiere, the incident was addressed by both Jon and Kate. Throughout the episode, they stated they are devoted to their children and vehemently rejected the cheating allegations, but agreed that they are unsure about where their relationship is headed.
On June 22, 2009, legal proceedings were initiated in Pennsylvania to dissolve the ten-year marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin. The episode announcing their separation became the most watched episode of the series, with 10.6 million viewers"
From Wikipedia:
Kate is one of five children; she has three sisters and a brother. Jon is the middle child of three boys. The couple met on October 5, 1997 at a picnic and they were married on June 12, 1999.
The Gosselins' desire to start a family was met with infertility. Kate underwent medical testing and was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. The couple turned to fertility treatments and immediately began intrauterine insemination. In February 2000, Kate became pregnant with twins, born six minutes apart.
They began thinking of having another child and, according to Kate, a biracial infant of a teenage girl became available to adopt while Kate was an obstetrics nurse. They decided not to adopt the baby, but instead returned to fertility treatment. In October 2003, Kate became pregnant again. Five weeks later, (after being hospitalized for over-stimulated ovaries) at the initial ultrasound, the doctor announced that there were six sacs with seven yolks (embryos). According to Kate, this was emotional news for them. The doctor suggested selective reduction, but the couple was strongly against it.
The sextuplets were born on May 10, 2004 at Penn State Milton S. Hershey Medical Center in Hershey, Pennsylvania. All six children were delivered via a Caesarean section within a span of three minutes with more than fifty doctors, nurses, and other specialists involved. Because the sextuplets were born in Hershey, they were called "Hershey Kisses" by the nurses and doctors who delivered them. In late 2008, the family moved from their Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania home to a larger residence in Lower Heidelberg Township, Pennsylvania.
In April 2009, it was reported that Jon was having an affair after he was spotted late one night with various women and leaving with one of them. The couple has denied these allegations, saying the woman Jon left with was just a friend. However the woman's brother insists that she was romantically involved with Jon. This is supported by the existence of video and photographs of Jon with Deanna Hummel. Kate has also been accused of having a personal relationship with one of her bodyguards, Steve Neild. Kate has denied the allegations, stating that she requires a bodyguard for protection.
Kate has said these issues will be addressed throughout the fifth season of their show. In the season premiere, the incident was addressed by both Jon and Kate. Throughout the episode, they stated they are devoted to their children and vehemently rejected the cheating allegations, but agreed that they are unsure about where their relationship is headed.
On June 22, 2009, legal proceedings were initiated in Pennsylvania to dissolve the ten-year marriage of Jon and Kate Gosselin. The episode announcing their separation became the most watched episode of the series, with 10.6 million viewers"
love from Singapore
Yesterday night we received a call from Singapore. We did not answer the handphone cause it cost more to answer direct. My Mio set will send the caller's number on joe's phone so Joe called back. The number was really familiar but I simply could not recall whose number was it.
Happy to find out it was from Hong. She read my blog and called to ask how was Chantz. It was really nice to hear from her. She really is a good pal. She also asked how we were coping with things here.
Frankly speaking, I am not one to call others and I do not expect many calls from others as well. Hong is one that never gives up on me. She will call me once in a while just to see how things were here for us. I, on the other hand, preferred to email and write.
Actually feeling very happy to hear from her and we talked for about half an hour. I feel so happy that things are going well for her in Singapore. We have known each other since P1 and along the way, many things have happened to us. In fact, if not for her urging me to go university, I would also be quite contented just being a clerk and probably married someone else.
Love this special lady to bits and hope she will be healthy and happy forever. She is a gem and I hope to stay best of friends forever.
Happy to find out it was from Hong. She read my blog and called to ask how was Chantz. It was really nice to hear from her. She really is a good pal. She also asked how we were coping with things here.
Frankly speaking, I am not one to call others and I do not expect many calls from others as well. Hong is one that never gives up on me. She will call me once in a while just to see how things were here for us. I, on the other hand, preferred to email and write.
Actually feeling very happy to hear from her and we talked for about half an hour. I feel so happy that things are going well for her in Singapore. We have known each other since P1 and along the way, many things have happened to us. In fact, if not for her urging me to go university, I would also be quite contented just being a clerk and probably married someone else.
Love this special lady to bits and hope she will be healthy and happy forever. She is a gem and I hope to stay best of friends forever.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
My friend's blog on Sars
Hong is a journalist with Mediacorp and I am always proud of her job. It is not an easy job but she has always put in her best effort. We were asked to do "hearts of service" on public service for her and the time taken and effort taken was really very tedious. Love her posts on Sars and hope to share what she had written....
SARS后的天空 (一)
2003年，3月1日，一种不知名的病毒潜伏在一名无辜的女孩儿身上，悄悄入侵新加坡。没有人知道它的杀伤力有多大、没有人知道它的传染途径、甚至也没有人知道它的名字。
一开始，它就是一连串的问号。
5年前，提及SARS，没有人不闻之色变。。。。。。
要弄清事件的始末，矛头总是指向一名女孩儿。她的洋名叫 “Esther Mok”，代号 – “1号病患”或“超级感染者”。
5年来，人们始终没有看过她的照片、没有听过她的声音。。。。。。
“Hello! 请问你是不是Esther Mok？”
“是啊！我是。”
Esther Mok决定在2008年4月23日傍晚和我们见面。谜一般的Esther Mok 这5年来到底过得怎么样？她现在为什么愿意露面，面对公众的目光？她怎么抚平失去至亲的痛楚？怎么摆脱SARS沉重而庞大的黑色恐惧？
这是Esther Mok首次曝光。第一次面对电视媒体，她显得相当淡定。她告诉我们，她的中文名叫莫佩诗。在访谈中，对于这个隐秘多年的女子，我们多了一点认识，甚至多了一份亲切感。佩诗今年28岁，正洋溢在新生活的幸福美满当中。
莫佩诗：
“这5年来很多改变，就是人生变了，然后 工作的性质也完全不一样。然后交了男朋友、然后结婚。//结婚一年多，计划？ 没有啊！现在就是先打球，可能明年再生小孩。（打算生几个？）三个。（为什么3个？） 为什么?因为我家庭，以前我的爸爸妈妈就生三个啊。然后就是我哥哥、我还有我弟弟，然后我觉得3个刚刚好，蛮热闹的。 ”
佩诗从小生长在一个温馨的家庭。她排行第二，有一个哥哥、一个弟弟；父亲以前是会计师、母亲煮得一手好菜，是家庭主妇。谈起父母，佩诗的脸上总会泛起笑容。
莫佩诗：
“我爸爸从小就教我游泳、骑脚车，然后周末我们都会去游泳还是去沙滩玩，然后去吃，然后妈妈早上上学的时候都会帮我们准备早餐，教我们做功课。然后，他们都给我们很多的自由。// 我知道我爸爸很疼我，然后妈妈也很疼我，应该是最疼的，我也不知道（笑）。（怎么说最疼你呢？）//因为妈妈每次煮饭的时候都她都会问我今晚你要吃什么，然后爸爸嗯。。。不懂就知道爸爸好像是最疼我的。（笑）”
佩诗原本以为爸爸妈妈会活很久，从来没有想过他们会走得那么早、那么突然。2003年，佩诗23岁。在一次假期中，她和小学同窗欢欢喜喜地到香港游玩5天。
行程的最后一天，她病倒了。
莫佩诗：
“就是好像普通的不舒服，也不知道有没有发烧， 就是好像酸痛，就这样而已，其实应该是到机场的时候才觉得开始不舒服。//所以我回家之后就是睡觉，吃PANADOL， 然后刚好我的奶奶也是去医院，然后我们要去探访的时候， 我妈妈就叫我顺便去看医生，然后就看了，然后就得住院。”
一次单纯的旅游，使佩诗一家原本幸福的生活嘎然而止。
SARS起源于中国广州。佩诗在香港入住的酒店的同一层楼，就住了一名带有SARS病毒的中国男子，他把病毒传给了酒店内的其他客人，使SARS病毒传到中国境外，一发不可收拾。疫情最严重的地区包括新加坡，越南河内、香港、还有加拿大多伦多。佩诗很不幸地被SARS选中，成为病魔入侵新加坡的载体。不只她病倒了，就连她身边的亲人也一个个倒下。
莫佩诗：
“最辛苦的应该是看到我爸爸妈妈躺在床上也生病了，那其实在没有人去世之前，我还蛮乐观他们会好起来因为也不知道是生什么病，就是应该会好，我也是有好起来，可是看到他们有很多那个tube, there is a lot of tubes around them，然后就觉得他们很辛苦。//我第一个想到的就是对不起，害到他们，也不知道发生什么事，然后就希望他们很快好起来，就很痛心，就是第一次看到他们，然后就会哭，就哭很久，因为真的很痛心看到他们这样子，因为我这样子。”
佩诗接下来面对的是一连串的打击。她，怎么渡过住院期间47个黑暗的日子？
广告后，佩诗继续讲述她戏剧般的生命故事
从入院的第一天开始，佩诗的心情如坐过山车一样。坏消息接踵而来。2003年3月25日，本地第一名SARS病患去世。他，是佩诗的父亲。
莫佩诗：
“那个医生跟我说，然后就下去那个加护病房那里看，然后就好像来不及，我哥哥已经在那边，可是我下去的时候他好像去世了。// 从加护病房的外面，隔着那个玻璃门看着他。//我记得我抱着我的哥哥哭，那好像是我第一次抱着我哥哥。//我妈妈那个时候也不清醒了，所以她也不知道发生什么事。”
第二天，到医院探访她而受感染的神父也回魂乏术。SARS连夺两命的消息震惊全国。下来的9天里，更多SARS病患抵挡不住病毒的摧残， 5人丧命。人们对SARS的杀伤力有了更真切的认识。这时，还在留医的佩诗只能殷勤地祈祷妈妈安然无恙。
莫佩诗：
“爸爸去世之后才怕我妈妈也会这样子跟着去世。//就希望她也会康复，然后去看她的时候也会看新闻，然后告诉她那天发生了什么事，去跟她聊天。//她的眼睛好像，我觉得，有点在眨，可是医生也是说有可能是自然反应。//然后，他们跟我讲她的情况很紧急，然后就随时都会去世，然后我下去之后我就在那边等，然后他们就叫我先上去，多一阵子之后又再叫我下来，我妈妈就去世了，然后就让我进去看她。然后我就跪在她的床前，然后我就一直哭、一直哭、一直哭。”
可怕的梦魇还是来了。爸爸去世不到两个星期，佩诗又接到母亲的噩耗。8天后，舅舅也死于SARS。佩诗无法出席爸爸妈妈的葬礼，她必须留院隔离观察。这样的遗憾无法弥补。
受佩诗感染的人一共有22个。除了父母、舅舅以外，还有她的神父、一名访客、10名医护人员以及7名和她同住一个病房的人。他们直接或间接地把病毒传播开来，受感染的人数共计238人，死亡人数33个。
佩诗入院初期，院方怀疑她患上当时在中港地区流行的禽流感。当时，全球医学界对SARS闻所未闻，因此初期的防御工作不能尽善尽美 。
“Because it was the first index case at that point in time the word SARS was no where to be found in the world so therefore when she was admitted to a general ward for e initial few days no protective precautions were taken because of the suspicion and that is how her loved ones and even the Healthcare Workers were infected but subsequently once we recognized these syndromes and we adopted the full protective precaution, none of us fell victims to SARS anymore. ”
- 戴荣华医生 (加护病房主管 陈笃生医院)
身为新加坡第一名SARS病患，佩诗一度被贴上“超级感染者”的标签。其实， 她和所有SARS病患一样，都是无辜和不幸的受害者。佩诗在2003年4月16日出院后，再也见不到从小宠爱她的爸爸妈妈。
她始终不明白，为什么上天要让她年轻的生命如此坎坷。
莫佩诗：
“只是责怪为什么，为什么这种事情会发生在我身上？然后。。。嗯。。。为什么他们。。。我爸爸会去世而不是我？也，也有跟他说对不起，因为我以前也不乖，就也刚刚开始工作就还没来得及去好好地孝顺他。”
SARS在佩诗的生命留下了深深的烙印。她痛失身边的挚爱，当年才23岁的她如何承受那么多的痛苦。
无情的SARS也深深伤害了许多医护人员以及他们的家人。身为加护病房主管的太太，陈秀云当时就深恐丈夫随时遭遇不测， 而要他辞职。这听起来不可思议，但是在当时的精神压力下，这样的要求是可以谅解的。
“Four Healthcare Workers had already perished and 100s more were suffering from SARS and we didn’t know how many more were going to die. He had been on the frontline for many many months.// I thought it was my duty to put a stop to it because there is only so much the human body can take. There is only so much emotional and psychological stress that you can tolerate.” - 陈秀云
站在最前线的医护人员如何在种种压力下坚持抗SARS？经历了SARS之后，他们对工作，对家庭有了什么样不同的看法？
对于因为工作染上SARS的医护人员来说，那一场病不能说忘就忘。
刚刚当上妈妈的候瑞玉，5年前她还单身，一个人在新加坡当护士。她因为照顾一名SARS病患而受感染。
“每天都是烧到40度这样，就是很辛苦， 而且一点胃口都没有，什么东西都吃不下，而且一直吐、拉肚子、泻肚子这样。。。。。。 ” - 候瑞玉 护士 陈笃生医院
在SARS期间，全球百分之51的病患是医护人员，作为前线人员，如果更多人倒下，后果不堪设想。当年，俞靓和同事照顾的都是严重病患；每一个死讯都打击了他们的士气和信心；特别是看到同事因为染SARS、一个个倒下，他们的心情更是久久不能平复。2003年4月7日，第一名医生死亡。
“可能前几天你们还一起吃饭、讲话、还有说有笑，没有两三天、突然之间变成重症病人， //就是虽然你很努力可是还是。。。结果还是不很理想。（抿嘴）。。。。。。” - 俞靓 护士长 陈笃生医院
2003年4月22日，第二名医生死亡；2003年4月26日，一名女看护死亡；2003年4月30日，一名护士死亡。
SARS毫不手软，4月底在9天内再夺3名医护人员的性命。近两个月来持续和SARS展开搏斗的医护人员，还有他们的家属都面对无比的恐惧和压力。他们不禁要问，下一个受害者会是谁？
“One morning when I woke up my wife held my hand and told me I do not want to live in the memory of a dead hero I rather grow old with an ordinary man and up to this day 5 years later when I thought of that moment in the morning before I went to work tears welled up in my eyes. When I recalled on what she said that was a very sort of natural response to someone whom you love.” - 戴荣华医生 (加护病房主管 陈笃生医院)
2003年5月11日，第五名医护人员死亡。
坏消息继续铺天盖地，戴医生安抚了太太之后继续和SARS作战。他有许多下属同样面对家人要他们放弃工作的要求。身为加护病房主管，他得以身作则勇敢的面对死神。
医院采取的防护措施终于奏效，5月初以后，再也没有医护人员受感染。医疗团队的信心大增，抗SARS的决心更加坚定。
“你选择了这个职业不可以说有危险你就逃避，当你选择了这份职业的时候你就已经知道它有一定的危险性。//每一个病人都是一样的，忙着照顾病人， 所以就花比较多的时间跟精力在病人身上，你可能没有那么多时间去想，去怕。” - 俞靓 护士长 陈笃生医院
2008年5月31日，世界卫生组织终于把新加坡从SARS疫区中除名。医护人员好比打了一场胜战。这场抗SARS的战役，给新加坡人，尤其是医护人员上了宝贵的一课。将来无论是SARS卷土重来，还是面对随时来袭的新病种，我们还是足以全力以赴。
“If there is another infection disease outbreak, for example bird flu, we can be reassured that there will be a dedicated team of Healthcare Workers who will stick to their jobs in the hospital to take care of the patients. This concept of sticking true to your vocation very touching because basically you are prepared to die for someone whom you do not really know. ” - 戴荣华医生 (加护病房主管 陈笃生医院)
俞靓已经擢升为护士长，训练新护士是她分内的工作。经历了SARS事件后，她和瑞玉对工作的热忱不减。当年，瑞玉在康复后就马上复职，继续照顾SARS病患。目前，瑞玉在进修高级护理文凭课程，希望尽快回到工作岗位。SARS风暴让她们找到生命中最重要的东西。
“就是珍惜自己的生命，//也要珍惜你身边的家人朋友，因为只有在你最需要他们的时候，只有你的朋友家人才会给你鼓励和给你帮助。 ” - 候瑞玉 护士 陈笃生医院
“可能会更珍惜眼前事、眼前人。 //我会比较多陪我妈妈去看看戏、逛逛街。”- 俞靓 护士长 陈笃生医院
5年了，许多人事已经改变。戴医生和太太生活中最大的变化就是生了一个小孩儿。他们本来喜欢过二人世界，结婚十年没有生育。3岁的小于翔让戴医生重温了童年的快乐，也更深刻地体会到为人父母者的伟大。
“Having a child is a celebration of life. I remember my child have often told me that daddy I want to be like you, if a child can say that to you, how can I let a child down? I found the greatest love in this world is actually the parental love for the child and nowadays when I see patient in the ward, in my mind I always remember that that patient is a father to a child as well as a child to a father or a mother. Therefore the patient is very precious to their loved ones and family members.” - 戴荣华医生 (加护病房主管 陈笃生医院)
现在，戴家对生活的要求很简单。
“Things like waking up in the morning, healthy, happy, free from disease, being able to go to work, being able to carry out your normal routine, being able to enjoy family life. Because my husband was so near the edge and there was a time when I thought I would loose him. ” - 陈秀云
5年、1千8百多个日子，显然不足以让一些SARS受害者释怀。这些是一名郑先生纪念亲人的剪报。他的爸爸、哥哥和叔叔都死于SARS，妈妈幸存了下来。他谢绝面对面访问，在书面访问中流露了他和母亲的丧亲之痛。不过，他们正在努力的过新生活。
5年前，郑先生和佩诗一样，也只有23岁。
莫佩诗：
“我一直以为我爸爸妈妈会活到很老，// 什么都来得及做，然后失去他们之后就很像什么都来不及了，然后就不想做什么了。”
要怎么样平复SARS留下的伤痛？ 下星期，佩诗继续讲述她如何走出深渊，找到生命中美好的新篇章。
Posted by chiau at 12:21 AM 0 comments
Monday, June 23, 2008
SARS的俘虏
Trailer: TX 27052008 @ 2230hr
5年来，迷一般的身份不曾曝光。
她被SARS俘虏，把病毒从香港带来新加坡。
代号“1号病患”或“超级感染者”。
5年后，我们终于看到她，聆听她的心声。
Upsot: Handphone Ringtone and NS
“ Hello…请问你是不是Esther Mok?”
“是啊！我是。”
《星期二特写》 [SARS后的天空]
晚上10点30分 8频道
明晚
今晚
---------------------------------
上个月28号，我人在北京和家人旅游，包包里的手机不断地响，看了节目的朋友老远地从新加坡寄了简讯，告诉我他们的观后感。 他们都被节目感动了，更重要的是，他们被莫佩思感动了！
一名同事在看来节目之后有感而发，在自己的部落格中写下了感言，有空不妨看看：
http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/graceism/article?mid=1780
莫佩思，没有人知道她是谁。她，就是Esther Mok， 哪位5年前把SARS病毒从香港带来新加坡的“超级感染者”。“超级感染者”，好不客气的一个称号！她在本地引发了一场非同小可的SARS疫情；受感染人数共计238人，死亡人数33人。
5年来，没有知道她到底是谁、没有看过她的真面目。节目让她走出黑暗，面向大众、披露5年来的心路历程。节目播出后的第三天，[海峡时报]以头版刊登了电视画面上佩思的模样，内页介绍了节目内容。头版的标题是：
SARS：FIVE YEARS ON
S‘pore gets ready to tackle next health crisis head-on
佩思的照片底下这样写着：
FIRST SARS PATIENT: Esther Mok, who broke her silence in 2004 about the deaths of foud people who were close to her, has finally come out of hiding. She spoke about the events that changed her life in a television documentary aired three days ago.
同一天的晚上，[联合晚报]在头版刊登了同一张照片，标题打上：
我国第一个沙斯病人
5年不见 电视亮相 勇敢讲述 痛苦历程
Esther Mok
前空姐莫佩思
首次曝光
我远在北京，希望外表看来刚毅、内心有些许脆弱的佩思真得做好了面对大众的心理准备。
我想起了访问正式开始前我问她的第一个问题：“你为什么要接受这一次的访问？”“我想是上帝要我做的。既然这样，不管结果如何，他一定会保护我。”她面带微笑、从容淡定地回答。
Posted by chiau at 11:17 PM 0 comments
SARS后的天空 (二)
五年前的那场SARS风暴让人失去一些，也让人得到一些。。。。。。
莫佩诗：
“应该把这些不愉快的东西都放下，然后再找回你的兴趣，理想，都去追求你的梦想”
“悲剧是很难避免的。我们活下来的呢，要尽力为我们心爱的人好好着想。” － 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
在球场上，她英姿飒爽、全情投入，用心感受生命的脉搏！谁会想到，她就是五年前的SARS“1号病患“，大家口中的“超级感染者”－ Esther Mok，莫佩诗。我们今天见到的她，已走出SARS阴影。但，这条康复之路，走来不易。
莫佩诗:
“就很伤心，尤其是睡觉的时候，一个人在房间，然后不做东西，会想开始联想很多东西。 想以前爸爸妈妈会怎么样、怎么样，然后以前也会对爸爸妈妈怎么样的不好，也会想现在也不知道要做什么，然后很想他们，很想看到他们，然后就会哭。”
二零零三年四月，佩诗战胜SARS病魔，离开医院回到家。但是这个家，已经变得不一样了，爸爸、妈妈都不在了……
莫佩诗:
“就是空空的，好像以前家里很热闹，现在就很静，就是好像很沉。有时想要跟妈妈聊天还是应该是煮饭时间，but没有人煮饭。”
自己到香港旅行感染了SARS，把病毒传给爸爸妈妈，害得他们丢了性命，而自己却偏偏活了下来。佩诗心中有抹不去的愧疚，未来的人生路也不知道要如何走下去。
莫佩诗:
“我一直以为我爸爸妈妈会活到很老，因为他们都蛮健康的，什么都来得及做。然后失去他们之后就很像什么都来不及了。整个人会好像是失去方向那样，也没有那个动力去做要什么、做什么，就是什么都不想做，就不想去工作。”
在黑暗的世界中，唯一能带给她些许心灵上安慰的就是朋友，还有素未谋面的陌生人传来的心意和祝福。
莫佩诗:
“很多人送来的卡片啊、礼物啊，还是那种他们自己画的图案。收到之后蛮开心的，因为他们画的都是很bright啊。也很欣慰，也不会去排斥我，还是怪我，还是很体谅我、很支持我、希望我快点康复，所以觉得很温馨。”
2003年7月22日，抗SARS 纪念会。痊愈后三个月，佩诗第一次正面地接触SARS。她鼓起勇气出席了在植物园举行的 SARS纪念会。当时佩诗的身份还受到保护，她以普通公众的身份，与家人和朋友一起参加纪念会。
莫佩诗:
“那时候也是要thank 那些护士和医生的 ，都很尽力地在跟这个SARS斗。 就差不多完的时候就很伤心啊，也有点有点无奈、也不知道为什么，就呆不下，就叫我朋友跟我一起溜走。
事隔五年后，佩诗重新回到了植物园。”
SARS风暴后，在身边支持她的就是这群自中学时代就认识的好朋友。她们口中的佩诗总是很坚强，不轻易让人看到她脆弱的一面。
“在她爸爸去世的时候，第一次看过她哭吧。她每次都好像很坚强，性格很开朗。 当她出院的时候，我们都会常去她的家看她，尽量不要去讨论她病情的事情，然后也不讲她父母亲的事情。所以我们就往别的东西讲，然后给她精神上的鼓励吧。”- 赵洁 朋友
二零零三年九月，一次检查牙医的约会，竟然成了佩诗心灵康复道路的起点。张金昌医生进行例常病历询问时，发现了佩诗就是SARS一号病患Esther Mok。他觉察到，这个女孩内心的伤口一直还无法愈合。
“She probably gone thru quite a lot, she lost her parents, her pastor and probably everyone blames her for it. I saw her she was quite sporty, so I say would you like to consider going for some trip, youth expedition project, YEP trip in Philippines.” - 张金昌 牙医
一次义工之旅，给了佩诗一个愈合创伤的机会。二零零三年底，佩诗带着逃避的心情，逃到菲律宾的一个小村落当义工。在那儿，她暂时忘记了那一段悲伤的SARS经历。没有人知道她的过去，她与一群年轻朋友一起朝夕相处，一起修建活动中心，一起做礼拜。
莫佩诗:
“在一次我们去做礼拜的时候，然后有那个brochure，它那里就有讲，For God to explain a trial would be to defeat its purpose, calling forth simple trust and obedience. 然后看了那句话之后就觉得很安慰，就好像这一切都是安排好的，都是上帝要我go through 的。那次之后，就决定回到他身边，然后就比较开朗，好像心中放下一块大石头这样。”
菲律宾之行，让佩诗找到了心灵的寄托，也找到重新出发的方向。回到新加坡后，她加入了一个基督教机构的青年中心工作。
“Esther is a lady of few words, but she is strong in character. In the sense that she will be able to go a person one-to-one, and share and tell them, help them thru those diff times。Having gone thru those diff and trials, she would be one who wld be able to help other people going thru such diff times as well. I saw her as an ideal candidat” - 林福财神父
两个多月前，佩诗开始从事教导问题青少年的工作。这些青少年，有不少面对家庭问题，有些则犯了轻微的罪行，这个中心为他们提供一个重新再来的机会。 佩诗自己走出SARS的伤痛，她希望也能帮助这些年轻朋友走出人生低谷。
莫佩诗:
“我觉得可能我的性格，我的经验，也可以对那些年轻人得到给他们一些启发。 以我的经验我能够站起来，那，他们在他们好像in their difficulties，他们也能够振作起来，能坚强起来。”
现在的佩诗，找到人生的另一热忱——打“巧固球，Tchuokball。她和丈夫张建成都是巧固球的国家队代表，两人是球场上的好搭档。佩诗结婚快两年了，丈夫建成是她在感染SARS 之后才认识的。在佩诗心灵康复的路上，丈夫给予她很大的支持力量。
两人在二零零四年认识，当时，建成经常到佩诗任职的青年中心当义工，两人因为同样热爱运动而相互吸引。对于自己曾经患上SARS，又是超级感染者的身份，佩诗心中始终有些介怀，她担心建成会无法接受。当两人正式交往前，佩诗决定向建成坦白一切。
莫佩诗:
＂我觉得一定要告诉他，因为我不知道他会不会介意，我不知道他家人会不会介意。虽然是过去了，可是这是新的一种病，也不知道以后会发生什么事，所以我觉得一定要告诉他。＂
＂那时候进我的反应还没什么，是因为我都没留意那个sars的，我都没有去留意。＂
－ 张建成 丈夫
两人交往了一年多后就决定结婚。这五年下来，佩诗结婚了，她有了自己的家庭，找到了人生伴侣，这多少弥补了她失去双亲的遗憾。
＂她还蛮坚强的，她可以说是外刚内弱。 我会尽量不要提起她的伤心事，而就是尽量让她开心点，过得快乐点，让她有一个人可以依靠。＂ － 张建成 丈夫
五年前的SARS风暴过去了，但思念却从未减少。。。 。。。
星期六早上，位于林厝港的怀念园，迎来了赵家一家大小。每逢过年过节，或一些特别的纪念日，许恩佩医生总会和家婆黄玉才，一起带着两个女儿到这里探望她们的爸爸。
“爸爸的名字是什么呢？”
“赵光灏医生！”
五年前，赵光灏医生在抗SARS战役中牺牲了。当时，大女儿宗颖不到四岁，小女儿宗欣刚满一岁。虽然对爸爸的印象有点模糊，但却知道爸爸是为救人才丢了性命。
“我从小就让她们知道爸爸是怎么样的情况下去世的。我说，爸爸是做医生，他在照顾病人的时候尽医生的责任的时候不幸染到病。那时候这个病不能医，然后他就去世了。所以，爸爸是在坚守工作上的时候牺牲的。” － 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
2003年4月22日，赵光灏医生走了。当时，赵光灏医生特地缩短假期，从美国飞回新加坡加入抗SARS的工作。他是一名血管外科专科医生，回国后立刻为一名病患动手术，后来才发现那是一名SARS病患。在手术过程中，赵医生不幸染SARS，十天后病逝。
“我的爸爸他很勇敢。他很爱心。我觉得他是一个英雄。他 知道 照顾sars的病人就有可以感冒那个Sars，但是他不怕，他去帮人。”－ 赵宗颖 大女儿
照顾两个年幼女儿的担子，一下子落在恩佩的肩上。失去配偶的心情固然悲痛，但为了孩子，她不得不坚强起来。
“如果我说悲伤三年的话，她们也跟着我难过三年。我流泪三年，她们也跟着我流泪三年。所以我那时候是说，要赶快尽力建立一个温暖的家庭。开始没有信心。常常那时候。一直是担心孩子快不快乐，有没有哪一方面觉得有缺陷，不知道有没有亏欠她们的地方。所以常常问孩子，开心吗？后来慢慢学会说，其实孩子很懂事，会体谅妈妈，妈妈的心情会比较放松说，尽力就好。”－ 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
赵家的两代媳妇，努力为两个小孩营造一个温暖的家庭。她们也经常说一些关于赵光灏医生的事迹。有时候，说起SARS当时的情况，大人小孩都难以按捺悲伤。
“最难的是有特别的纪念日。好像第一年父亲节，就想要怎样庆祝，要什么形式呢？后来，圣诞节、华人新年，每逢过节的第一年时候就想应该怎么样？应该有一个形式吗？后来才发现，就是顺气自然啦，看那天的心情啦。其实最重要是心里有纪念我们心爱的人。”- 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
恩佩与赵光灏医生是在医学院学医时相识，后来谈恋爱、结婚，组织了自己的家庭。恩佩眼里的赵医生是一个待人真诚，尽忠职守的好医生。由始至终，赵医生从未后悔自己因为救人而感染上SARS 送命。
“我最后一次见他的时候其实是在美国，4月4号。他送我去工作地地方，然后开车去机场坐飞机回来。虽然有点难过，但是想象到不久就会在一起了，前途就是很幸福。那时候就是在很幸福的感觉下跟他说再见。所以有时候我会像想，很兴慰就是说最后一次在跟他一起面对面的时候是很温馨的一场面，他留下的都是很温馨，很美好的回忆啦。” － 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
自从赵医生去世后，恩佩把生活重心都放在两个女儿身上。对爸爸的印象不深，但小女儿还是凭着照片和妈妈的描述，做了一份父亲节礼物纪念爸爸。
What else do you remember about papa? - He yawns very loud.
How did papa yawn when he was tired? Your jie-jie told you papa will do what?
Because papa works very hard in the hospital.
恩佩每星期都会带两个女儿去探望家婆黄玉才。赵老太太今年七十岁，她最希望看到两个孙女长大成才，像她们的爸爸一样热心公益，为社会做出贡献。
“恩佩是一个很能干的女人。我也相信将来两个孩子在她的教导和抚育下一定有所建树。”
- 黄玉才 赵光灏母亲
赵老太太在二零零零年失去了丈夫--著名法医赵自成教授。事隔三年，又失去了独生子赵光灏医生，所受的打击相当大。然而，在怀念亲人之余，她并没有让自己唏嘘悲叹下去，她继续回到学校教书
“把我的爱心放在我们新加坡下一代儿童身上，为他们做一些事情使我能完成赵医生的志愿。他的志愿也要为人民服务，为新加坡的前途作出贡献。” - 黄玉才 赵光灏母亲
五年过去了，恩佩已经收拾好心情，步入另一段婚姻旅程，她也希望给两个女儿一个完整的家。她的决定获得赵老太太的祝福。
“我想恩佩的决定是对的。这对她本人和两个孩子来说，都是一件好事。我祝福她和她的下一段人生的生活过的幸福美满。”－ 黄玉才 赵光灏母亲
五年前，在抗SARS纪念会上，当时的总理吴作栋在植物园内种了一棵香灰莉树Tembusu，把它命名为“生命之树” ，象征国人齐心对抗SARS的精神。五年后的今天，小树已长成大树，树干健壮了，人也变得坚强了。 无可否认地，佩诗是SARS悲剧中最大的受害者。庆幸的是，最艰苦的日子她熬过去了，换回的是更坚毅的生命力。
莫佩诗：
“现在已经五年过来了，然后过去的也已经过去了。我觉得应该把这些不愉快的东西都放下，然后再找回你的兴趣，理想，都去追求你的梦想，然后跟其他家人，珍惜他们，珍惜你身边的朋友。”
编导：郭丽娟
Posted by chiau at 11:23 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Love my friend's entries, visit hers at http://chiauhong.blogspot.com
SARS后的天空 (一)
2003年，3月1日，一种不知名的病毒潜伏在一名无辜的女孩儿身上，悄悄入侵新加坡。没有人知道它的杀伤力有多大、没有人知道它的传染途径、甚至也没有人知道它的名字。
一开始，它就是一连串的问号。
5年前，提及SARS，没有人不闻之色变。。。。。。
要弄清事件的始末，矛头总是指向一名女孩儿。她的洋名叫 “Esther Mok”，代号 – “1号病患”或“超级感染者”。
5年来，人们始终没有看过她的照片、没有听过她的声音。。。。。。
“Hello! 请问你是不是Esther Mok？”
“是啊！我是。”
Esther Mok决定在2008年4月23日傍晚和我们见面。谜一般的Esther Mok 这5年来到底过得怎么样？她现在为什么愿意露面，面对公众的目光？她怎么抚平失去至亲的痛楚？怎么摆脱SARS沉重而庞大的黑色恐惧？
这是Esther Mok首次曝光。第一次面对电视媒体，她显得相当淡定。她告诉我们，她的中文名叫莫佩诗。在访谈中，对于这个隐秘多年的女子，我们多了一点认识，甚至多了一份亲切感。佩诗今年28岁，正洋溢在新生活的幸福美满当中。
莫佩诗：
“这5年来很多改变，就是人生变了，然后 工作的性质也完全不一样。然后交了男朋友、然后结婚。//结婚一年多，计划？ 没有啊！现在就是先打球，可能明年再生小孩。（打算生几个？）三个。（为什么3个？） 为什么?因为我家庭，以前我的爸爸妈妈就生三个啊。然后就是我哥哥、我还有我弟弟，然后我觉得3个刚刚好，蛮热闹的。 ”
佩诗从小生长在一个温馨的家庭。她排行第二，有一个哥哥、一个弟弟；父亲以前是会计师、母亲煮得一手好菜，是家庭主妇。谈起父母，佩诗的脸上总会泛起笑容。
莫佩诗：
“我爸爸从小就教我游泳、骑脚车，然后周末我们都会去游泳还是去沙滩玩，然后去吃，然后妈妈早上上学的时候都会帮我们准备早餐，教我们做功课。然后，他们都给我们很多的自由。// 我知道我爸爸很疼我，然后妈妈也很疼我，应该是最疼的，我也不知道（笑）。（怎么说最疼你呢？）//因为妈妈每次煮饭的时候都她都会问我今晚你要吃什么，然后爸爸嗯。。。不懂就知道爸爸好像是最疼我的。（笑）”
佩诗原本以为爸爸妈妈会活很久，从来没有想过他们会走得那么早、那么突然。2003年，佩诗23岁。在一次假期中，她和小学同窗欢欢喜喜地到香港游玩5天。
行程的最后一天，她病倒了。
莫佩诗：
“就是好像普通的不舒服，也不知道有没有发烧， 就是好像酸痛，就这样而已，其实应该是到机场的时候才觉得开始不舒服。//所以我回家之后就是睡觉，吃PANADOL， 然后刚好我的奶奶也是去医院，然后我们要去探访的时候， 我妈妈就叫我顺便去看医生，然后就看了，然后就得住院。”
一次单纯的旅游，使佩诗一家原本幸福的生活嘎然而止。
SARS起源于中国广州。佩诗在香港入住的酒店的同一层楼，就住了一名带有SARS病毒的中国男子，他把病毒传给了酒店内的其他客人，使SARS病毒传到中国境外，一发不可收拾。疫情最严重的地区包括新加坡，越南河内、香港、还有加拿大多伦多。佩诗很不幸地被SARS选中，成为病魔入侵新加坡的载体。不只她病倒了，就连她身边的亲人也一个个倒下。
莫佩诗：
“最辛苦的应该是看到我爸爸妈妈躺在床上也生病了，那其实在没有人去世之前，我还蛮乐观他们会好起来因为也不知道是生什么病，就是应该会好，我也是有好起来，可是看到他们有很多那个tube, there is a lot of tubes around them，然后就觉得他们很辛苦。//我第一个想到的就是对不起，害到他们，也不知道发生什么事，然后就希望他们很快好起来，就很痛心，就是第一次看到他们，然后就会哭，就哭很久，因为真的很痛心看到他们这样子，因为我这样子。”
佩诗接下来面对的是一连串的打击。她，怎么渡过住院期间47个黑暗的日子？
广告后，佩诗继续讲述她戏剧般的生命故事
从入院的第一天开始，佩诗的心情如坐过山车一样。坏消息接踵而来。2003年3月25日，本地第一名SARS病患去世。他，是佩诗的父亲。
莫佩诗：
“那个医生跟我说，然后就下去那个加护病房那里看，然后就好像来不及，我哥哥已经在那边，可是我下去的时候他好像去世了。// 从加护病房的外面，隔着那个玻璃门看着他。//我记得我抱着我的哥哥哭，那好像是我第一次抱着我哥哥。//我妈妈那个时候也不清醒了，所以她也不知道发生什么事。”
第二天，到医院探访她而受感染的神父也回魂乏术。SARS连夺两命的消息震惊全国。下来的9天里，更多SARS病患抵挡不住病毒的摧残， 5人丧命。人们对SARS的杀伤力有了更真切的认识。这时，还在留医的佩诗只能殷勤地祈祷妈妈安然无恙。
莫佩诗：
“爸爸去世之后才怕我妈妈也会这样子跟着去世。//就希望她也会康复，然后去看她的时候也会看新闻，然后告诉她那天发生了什么事，去跟她聊天。//她的眼睛好像，我觉得，有点在眨，可是医生也是说有可能是自然反应。//然后，他们跟我讲她的情况很紧急，然后就随时都会去世，然后我下去之后我就在那边等，然后他们就叫我先上去，多一阵子之后又再叫我下来，我妈妈就去世了，然后就让我进去看她。然后我就跪在她的床前，然后我就一直哭、一直哭、一直哭。”
可怕的梦魇还是来了。爸爸去世不到两个星期，佩诗又接到母亲的噩耗。8天后，舅舅也死于SARS。佩诗无法出席爸爸妈妈的葬礼，她必须留院隔离观察。这样的遗憾无法弥补。
受佩诗感染的人一共有22个。除了父母、舅舅以外，还有她的神父、一名访客、10名医护人员以及7名和她同住一个病房的人。他们直接或间接地把病毒传播开来，受感染的人数共计238人，死亡人数33个。
佩诗入院初期，院方怀疑她患上当时在中港地区流行的禽流感。当时，全球医学界对SARS闻所未闻，因此初期的防御工作不能尽善尽美 。
“Because it was the first index case at that point in time the word SARS was no where to be found in the world so therefore when she was admitted to a general ward for e initial few days no protective precautions were taken because of the suspicion and that is how her loved ones and even the Healthcare Workers were infected but subsequently once we recognized these syndromes and we adopted the full protective precaution, none of us fell victims to SARS anymore. ”
- 戴荣华医生 (加护病房主管 陈笃生医院)
身为新加坡第一名SARS病患，佩诗一度被贴上“超级感染者”的标签。其实， 她和所有SARS病患一样，都是无辜和不幸的受害者。佩诗在2003年4月16日出院后，再也见不到从小宠爱她的爸爸妈妈。
她始终不明白，为什么上天要让她年轻的生命如此坎坷。
莫佩诗：
“只是责怪为什么，为什么这种事情会发生在我身上？然后。。。嗯。。。为什么他们。。。我爸爸会去世而不是我？也，也有跟他说对不起，因为我以前也不乖，就也刚刚开始工作就还没来得及去好好地孝顺他。”
SARS在佩诗的生命留下了深深的烙印。她痛失身边的挚爱，当年才23岁的她如何承受那么多的痛苦。
无情的SARS也深深伤害了许多医护人员以及他们的家人。身为加护病房主管的太太，陈秀云当时就深恐丈夫随时遭遇不测， 而要他辞职。这听起来不可思议，但是在当时的精神压力下，这样的要求是可以谅解的。
“Four Healthcare Workers had already perished and 100s more were suffering from SARS and we didn’t know how many more were going to die. He had been on the frontline for many many months.// I thought it was my duty to put a stop to it because there is only so much the human body can take. There is only so much emotional and psychological stress that you can tolerate.” - 陈秀云
站在最前线的医护人员如何在种种压力下坚持抗SARS？经历了SARS之后，他们对工作，对家庭有了什么样不同的看法？
对于因为工作染上SARS的医护人员来说，那一场病不能说忘就忘。
刚刚当上妈妈的候瑞玉，5年前她还单身，一个人在新加坡当护士。她因为照顾一名SARS病患而受感染。
“每天都是烧到40度这样，就是很辛苦， 而且一点胃口都没有，什么东西都吃不下，而且一直吐、拉肚子、泻肚子这样。。。。。。 ” - 候瑞玉 护士 陈笃生医院
在SARS期间，全球百分之51的病患是医护人员，作为前线人员，如果更多人倒下，后果不堪设想。当年，俞靓和同事照顾的都是严重病患；每一个死讯都打击了他们的士气和信心；特别是看到同事因为染SARS、一个个倒下，他们的心情更是久久不能平复。2003年4月7日，第一名医生死亡。
“可能前几天你们还一起吃饭、讲话、还有说有笑，没有两三天、突然之间变成重症病人， //就是虽然你很努力可是还是。。。结果还是不很理想。（抿嘴）。。。。。。” - 俞靓 护士长 陈笃生医院
2003年4月22日，第二名医生死亡；2003年4月26日，一名女看护死亡；2003年4月30日，一名护士死亡。
SARS毫不手软，4月底在9天内再夺3名医护人员的性命。近两个月来持续和SARS展开搏斗的医护人员，还有他们的家属都面对无比的恐惧和压力。他们不禁要问，下一个受害者会是谁？
“One morning when I woke up my wife held my hand and told me I do not want to live in the memory of a dead hero I rather grow old with an ordinary man and up to this day 5 years later when I thought of that moment in the morning before I went to work tears welled up in my eyes. When I recalled on what she said that was a very sort of natural response to someone whom you love.” - 戴荣华医生 (加护病房主管 陈笃生医院)
2003年5月11日，第五名医护人员死亡。
坏消息继续铺天盖地，戴医生安抚了太太之后继续和SARS作战。他有许多下属同样面对家人要他们放弃工作的要求。身为加护病房主管，他得以身作则勇敢的面对死神。
医院采取的防护措施终于奏效，5月初以后，再也没有医护人员受感染。医疗团队的信心大增，抗SARS的决心更加坚定。
“你选择了这个职业不可以说有危险你就逃避，当你选择了这份职业的时候你就已经知道它有一定的危险性。//每一个病人都是一样的，忙着照顾病人， 所以就花比较多的时间跟精力在病人身上，你可能没有那么多时间去想，去怕。” - 俞靓 护士长 陈笃生医院
2008年5月31日，世界卫生组织终于把新加坡从SARS疫区中除名。医护人员好比打了一场胜战。这场抗SARS的战役，给新加坡人，尤其是医护人员上了宝贵的一课。将来无论是SARS卷土重来，还是面对随时来袭的新病种，我们还是足以全力以赴。
“If there is another infection disease outbreak, for example bird flu, we can be reassured that there will be a dedicated team of Healthcare Workers who will stick to their jobs in the hospital to take care of the patients. This concept of sticking true to your vocation very touching because basically you are prepared to die for someone whom you do not really know. ” - 戴荣华医生 (加护病房主管 陈笃生医院)
俞靓已经擢升为护士长，训练新护士是她分内的工作。经历了SARS事件后，她和瑞玉对工作的热忱不减。当年，瑞玉在康复后就马上复职，继续照顾SARS病患。目前，瑞玉在进修高级护理文凭课程，希望尽快回到工作岗位。SARS风暴让她们找到生命中最重要的东西。
“就是珍惜自己的生命，//也要珍惜你身边的家人朋友，因为只有在你最需要他们的时候，只有你的朋友家人才会给你鼓励和给你帮助。 ” - 候瑞玉 护士 陈笃生医院
“可能会更珍惜眼前事、眼前人。 //我会比较多陪我妈妈去看看戏、逛逛街。”- 俞靓 护士长 陈笃生医院
5年了，许多人事已经改变。戴医生和太太生活中最大的变化就是生了一个小孩儿。他们本来喜欢过二人世界，结婚十年没有生育。3岁的小于翔让戴医生重温了童年的快乐，也更深刻地体会到为人父母者的伟大。
“Having a child is a celebration of life. I remember my child have often told me that daddy I want to be like you, if a child can say that to you, how can I let a child down? I found the greatest love in this world is actually the parental love for the child and nowadays when I see patient in the ward, in my mind I always remember that that patient is a father to a child as well as a child to a father or a mother. Therefore the patient is very precious to their loved ones and family members.” - 戴荣华医生 (加护病房主管 陈笃生医院)
现在，戴家对生活的要求很简单。
“Things like waking up in the morning, healthy, happy, free from disease, being able to go to work, being able to carry out your normal routine, being able to enjoy family life. Because my husband was so near the edge and there was a time when I thought I would loose him. ” - 陈秀云
5年、1千8百多个日子，显然不足以让一些SARS受害者释怀。这些是一名郑先生纪念亲人的剪报。他的爸爸、哥哥和叔叔都死于SARS，妈妈幸存了下来。他谢绝面对面访问，在书面访问中流露了他和母亲的丧亲之痛。不过，他们正在努力的过新生活。
5年前，郑先生和佩诗一样，也只有23岁。
莫佩诗：
“我一直以为我爸爸妈妈会活到很老，// 什么都来得及做，然后失去他们之后就很像什么都来不及了，然后就不想做什么了。”
要怎么样平复SARS留下的伤痛？ 下星期，佩诗继续讲述她如何走出深渊，找到生命中美好的新篇章。
Posted by chiau at 12:21 AM 0 comments
Monday, June 23, 2008
SARS的俘虏
Trailer: TX 27052008 @ 2230hr
5年来，迷一般的身份不曾曝光。
她被SARS俘虏，把病毒从香港带来新加坡。
代号“1号病患”或“超级感染者”。
5年后，我们终于看到她，聆听她的心声。
Upsot: Handphone Ringtone and NS
“ Hello…请问你是不是Esther Mok?”
“是啊！我是。”
《星期二特写》 [SARS后的天空]
晚上10点30分 8频道
明晚
今晚
---------------------------------
上个月28号，我人在北京和家人旅游，包包里的手机不断地响，看了节目的朋友老远地从新加坡寄了简讯，告诉我他们的观后感。 他们都被节目感动了，更重要的是，他们被莫佩思感动了！
一名同事在看来节目之后有感而发，在自己的部落格中写下了感言，有空不妨看看：
http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/graceism/article?mid=1780
莫佩思，没有人知道她是谁。她，就是Esther Mok， 哪位5年前把SARS病毒从香港带来新加坡的“超级感染者”。“超级感染者”，好不客气的一个称号！她在本地引发了一场非同小可的SARS疫情；受感染人数共计238人，死亡人数33人。
5年来，没有知道她到底是谁、没有看过她的真面目。节目让她走出黑暗，面向大众、披露5年来的心路历程。节目播出后的第三天，[海峡时报]以头版刊登了电视画面上佩思的模样，内页介绍了节目内容。头版的标题是：
SARS：FIVE YEARS ON
S‘pore gets ready to tackle next health crisis head-on
佩思的照片底下这样写着：
FIRST SARS PATIENT: Esther Mok, who broke her silence in 2004 about the deaths of foud people who were close to her, has finally come out of hiding. She spoke about the events that changed her life in a television documentary aired three days ago.
同一天的晚上，[联合晚报]在头版刊登了同一张照片，标题打上：
我国第一个沙斯病人
5年不见 电视亮相 勇敢讲述 痛苦历程
Esther Mok
前空姐莫佩思
首次曝光
我远在北京，希望外表看来刚毅、内心有些许脆弱的佩思真得做好了面对大众的心理准备。
我想起了访问正式开始前我问她的第一个问题：“你为什么要接受这一次的访问？”“我想是上帝要我做的。既然这样，不管结果如何，他一定会保护我。”她面带微笑、从容淡定地回答。
Posted by chiau at 11:17 PM 0 comments
SARS后的天空 (二)
五年前的那场SARS风暴让人失去一些，也让人得到一些。。。。。。
莫佩诗：
“应该把这些不愉快的东西都放下，然后再找回你的兴趣，理想，都去追求你的梦想”
“悲剧是很难避免的。我们活下来的呢，要尽力为我们心爱的人好好着想。” － 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
在球场上，她英姿飒爽、全情投入，用心感受生命的脉搏！谁会想到，她就是五年前的SARS“1号病患“，大家口中的“超级感染者”－ Esther Mok，莫佩诗。我们今天见到的她，已走出SARS阴影。但，这条康复之路，走来不易。
莫佩诗:
“就很伤心，尤其是睡觉的时候，一个人在房间，然后不做东西，会想开始联想很多东西。 想以前爸爸妈妈会怎么样、怎么样，然后以前也会对爸爸妈妈怎么样的不好，也会想现在也不知道要做什么，然后很想他们，很想看到他们，然后就会哭。”
二零零三年四月，佩诗战胜SARS病魔，离开医院回到家。但是这个家，已经变得不一样了，爸爸、妈妈都不在了……
莫佩诗:
“就是空空的，好像以前家里很热闹，现在就很静，就是好像很沉。有时想要跟妈妈聊天还是应该是煮饭时间，but没有人煮饭。”
自己到香港旅行感染了SARS，把病毒传给爸爸妈妈，害得他们丢了性命，而自己却偏偏活了下来。佩诗心中有抹不去的愧疚，未来的人生路也不知道要如何走下去。
莫佩诗:
“我一直以为我爸爸妈妈会活到很老，因为他们都蛮健康的，什么都来得及做。然后失去他们之后就很像什么都来不及了。整个人会好像是失去方向那样，也没有那个动力去做要什么、做什么，就是什么都不想做，就不想去工作。”
在黑暗的世界中，唯一能带给她些许心灵上安慰的就是朋友，还有素未谋面的陌生人传来的心意和祝福。
莫佩诗:
“很多人送来的卡片啊、礼物啊，还是那种他们自己画的图案。收到之后蛮开心的，因为他们画的都是很bright啊。也很欣慰，也不会去排斥我，还是怪我，还是很体谅我、很支持我、希望我快点康复，所以觉得很温馨。”
2003年7月22日，抗SARS 纪念会。痊愈后三个月，佩诗第一次正面地接触SARS。她鼓起勇气出席了在植物园举行的 SARS纪念会。当时佩诗的身份还受到保护，她以普通公众的身份，与家人和朋友一起参加纪念会。
莫佩诗:
“那时候也是要thank 那些护士和医生的 ，都很尽力地在跟这个SARS斗。 就差不多完的时候就很伤心啊，也有点有点无奈、也不知道为什么，就呆不下，就叫我朋友跟我一起溜走。
事隔五年后，佩诗重新回到了植物园。”
SARS风暴后，在身边支持她的就是这群自中学时代就认识的好朋友。她们口中的佩诗总是很坚强，不轻易让人看到她脆弱的一面。
“在她爸爸去世的时候，第一次看过她哭吧。她每次都好像很坚强，性格很开朗。 当她出院的时候，我们都会常去她的家看她，尽量不要去讨论她病情的事情，然后也不讲她父母亲的事情。所以我们就往别的东西讲，然后给她精神上的鼓励吧。”- 赵洁 朋友
二零零三年九月，一次检查牙医的约会，竟然成了佩诗心灵康复道路的起点。张金昌医生进行例常病历询问时，发现了佩诗就是SARS一号病患Esther Mok。他觉察到，这个女孩内心的伤口一直还无法愈合。
“She probably gone thru quite a lot, she lost her parents, her pastor and probably everyone blames her for it. I saw her she was quite sporty, so I say would you like to consider going for some trip, youth expedition project, YEP trip in Philippines.” - 张金昌 牙医
一次义工之旅，给了佩诗一个愈合创伤的机会。二零零三年底，佩诗带着逃避的心情，逃到菲律宾的一个小村落当义工。在那儿，她暂时忘记了那一段悲伤的SARS经历。没有人知道她的过去，她与一群年轻朋友一起朝夕相处，一起修建活动中心，一起做礼拜。
莫佩诗:
“在一次我们去做礼拜的时候，然后有那个brochure，它那里就有讲，For God to explain a trial would be to defeat its purpose, calling forth simple trust and obedience. 然后看了那句话之后就觉得很安慰，就好像这一切都是安排好的，都是上帝要我go through 的。那次之后，就决定回到他身边，然后就比较开朗，好像心中放下一块大石头这样。”
菲律宾之行，让佩诗找到了心灵的寄托，也找到重新出发的方向。回到新加坡后，她加入了一个基督教机构的青年中心工作。
“Esther is a lady of few words, but she is strong in character. In the sense that she will be able to go a person one-to-one, and share and tell them, help them thru those diff times。Having gone thru those diff and trials, she would be one who wld be able to help other people going thru such diff times as well. I saw her as an ideal candidat” - 林福财神父
两个多月前，佩诗开始从事教导问题青少年的工作。这些青少年，有不少面对家庭问题，有些则犯了轻微的罪行，这个中心为他们提供一个重新再来的机会。 佩诗自己走出SARS的伤痛，她希望也能帮助这些年轻朋友走出人生低谷。
莫佩诗:
“我觉得可能我的性格，我的经验，也可以对那些年轻人得到给他们一些启发。 以我的经验我能够站起来，那，他们在他们好像in their difficulties，他们也能够振作起来，能坚强起来。”
现在的佩诗，找到人生的另一热忱——打“巧固球，Tchuokball。她和丈夫张建成都是巧固球的国家队代表，两人是球场上的好搭档。佩诗结婚快两年了，丈夫建成是她在感染SARS 之后才认识的。在佩诗心灵康复的路上，丈夫给予她很大的支持力量。
两人在二零零四年认识，当时，建成经常到佩诗任职的青年中心当义工，两人因为同样热爱运动而相互吸引。对于自己曾经患上SARS，又是超级感染者的身份，佩诗心中始终有些介怀，她担心建成会无法接受。当两人正式交往前，佩诗决定向建成坦白一切。
莫佩诗:
＂我觉得一定要告诉他，因为我不知道他会不会介意，我不知道他家人会不会介意。虽然是过去了，可是这是新的一种病，也不知道以后会发生什么事，所以我觉得一定要告诉他。＂
＂那时候进我的反应还没什么，是因为我都没留意那个sars的，我都没有去留意。＂
－ 张建成 丈夫
两人交往了一年多后就决定结婚。这五年下来，佩诗结婚了，她有了自己的家庭，找到了人生伴侣，这多少弥补了她失去双亲的遗憾。
＂她还蛮坚强的，她可以说是外刚内弱。 我会尽量不要提起她的伤心事，而就是尽量让她开心点，过得快乐点，让她有一个人可以依靠。＂ － 张建成 丈夫
五年前的SARS风暴过去了，但思念却从未减少。。。 。。。
星期六早上，位于林厝港的怀念园，迎来了赵家一家大小。每逢过年过节，或一些特别的纪念日，许恩佩医生总会和家婆黄玉才，一起带着两个女儿到这里探望她们的爸爸。
“爸爸的名字是什么呢？”
“赵光灏医生！”
五年前，赵光灏医生在抗SARS战役中牺牲了。当时，大女儿宗颖不到四岁，小女儿宗欣刚满一岁。虽然对爸爸的印象有点模糊，但却知道爸爸是为救人才丢了性命。
“我从小就让她们知道爸爸是怎么样的情况下去世的。我说，爸爸是做医生，他在照顾病人的时候尽医生的责任的时候不幸染到病。那时候这个病不能医，然后他就去世了。所以，爸爸是在坚守工作上的时候牺牲的。” － 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
2003年4月22日，赵光灏医生走了。当时，赵光灏医生特地缩短假期，从美国飞回新加坡加入抗SARS的工作。他是一名血管外科专科医生，回国后立刻为一名病患动手术，后来才发现那是一名SARS病患。在手术过程中，赵医生不幸染SARS，十天后病逝。
“我的爸爸他很勇敢。他很爱心。我觉得他是一个英雄。他 知道 照顾sars的病人就有可以感冒那个Sars，但是他不怕，他去帮人。”－ 赵宗颖 大女儿
照顾两个年幼女儿的担子，一下子落在恩佩的肩上。失去配偶的心情固然悲痛，但为了孩子，她不得不坚强起来。
“如果我说悲伤三年的话，她们也跟着我难过三年。我流泪三年，她们也跟着我流泪三年。所以我那时候是说，要赶快尽力建立一个温暖的家庭。开始没有信心。常常那时候。一直是担心孩子快不快乐，有没有哪一方面觉得有缺陷，不知道有没有亏欠她们的地方。所以常常问孩子，开心吗？后来慢慢学会说，其实孩子很懂事，会体谅妈妈，妈妈的心情会比较放松说，尽力就好。”－ 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
赵家的两代媳妇，努力为两个小孩营造一个温暖的家庭。她们也经常说一些关于赵光灏医生的事迹。有时候，说起SARS当时的情况，大人小孩都难以按捺悲伤。
“最难的是有特别的纪念日。好像第一年父亲节，就想要怎样庆祝，要什么形式呢？后来，圣诞节、华人新年，每逢过节的第一年时候就想应该怎么样？应该有一个形式吗？后来才发现，就是顺气自然啦，看那天的心情啦。其实最重要是心里有纪念我们心爱的人。”- 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
恩佩与赵光灏医生是在医学院学医时相识，后来谈恋爱、结婚，组织了自己的家庭。恩佩眼里的赵医生是一个待人真诚，尽忠职守的好医生。由始至终，赵医生从未后悔自己因为救人而感染上SARS 送命。
“我最后一次见他的时候其实是在美国，4月4号。他送我去工作地地方，然后开车去机场坐飞机回来。虽然有点难过，但是想象到不久就会在一起了，前途就是很幸福。那时候就是在很幸福的感觉下跟他说再见。所以有时候我会像想，很兴慰就是说最后一次在跟他一起面对面的时候是很温馨的一场面，他留下的都是很温馨，很美好的回忆啦。” － 许恩佩医生 赵光灏遗孀
自从赵医生去世后，恩佩把生活重心都放在两个女儿身上。对爸爸的印象不深，但小女儿还是凭着照片和妈妈的描述，做了一份父亲节礼物纪念爸爸。
What else do you remember about papa? - He yawns very loud.
How did papa yawn when he was tired? Your jie-jie told you papa will do what?
Because papa works very hard in the hospital.
恩佩每星期都会带两个女儿去探望家婆黄玉才。赵老太太今年七十岁，她最希望看到两个孙女长大成才，像她们的爸爸一样热心公益，为社会做出贡献。
“恩佩是一个很能干的女人。我也相信将来两个孩子在她的教导和抚育下一定有所建树。”
- 黄玉才 赵光灏母亲
赵老太太在二零零零年失去了丈夫--著名法医赵自成教授。事隔三年，又失去了独生子赵光灏医生，所受的打击相当大。然而，在怀念亲人之余，她并没有让自己唏嘘悲叹下去，她继续回到学校教书
“把我的爱心放在我们新加坡下一代儿童身上，为他们做一些事情使我能完成赵医生的志愿。他的志愿也要为人民服务，为新加坡的前途作出贡献。” - 黄玉才 赵光灏母亲
五年过去了，恩佩已经收拾好心情，步入另一段婚姻旅程，她也希望给两个女儿一个完整的家。她的决定获得赵老太太的祝福。
“我想恩佩的决定是对的。这对她本人和两个孩子来说，都是一件好事。我祝福她和她的下一段人生的生活过的幸福美满。”－ 黄玉才 赵光灏母亲
五年前，在抗SARS纪念会上，当时的总理吴作栋在植物园内种了一棵香灰莉树Tembusu，把它命名为“生命之树” ，象征国人齐心对抗SARS的精神。五年后的今天，小树已长成大树，树干健壮了，人也变得坚强了。 无可否认地，佩诗是SARS悲剧中最大的受害者。庆幸的是，最艰苦的日子她熬过去了，换回的是更坚毅的生命力。
莫佩诗：
“现在已经五年过来了，然后过去的也已经过去了。我觉得应该把这些不愉快的东西都放下，然后再找回你的兴趣，理想，都去追求你的梦想，然后跟其他家人，珍惜他们，珍惜你身边的朋友。”
编导：郭丽娟
Posted by chiau at 11:23 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Love my friend's entries, visit hers at http://chiauhong.blogspot.com
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Hospital stay in Australia
These few days been really tiring. Now can still feel the body trying to get the balance back. Saturday morning walked half an hour to the Chinese school since Joe was staying with Chantz in hospital. After lesson, we went for lunch at a Japanese restuarant before sending the kids to school. We took the route via Strathfield and ended up caught in a traffic jam there for half an hour. Seems okay with no accident or road work but somehow traffic was like crawing snail. When we reached hospital, Chantz was happily playing computer games on the provided in starliight house entertainment system. The machine was to be shared with the other patients. After a while, a Cable tV representative appeared and told us to watch the TV we had to pay $8.50. We decided to forgo it since we were not keen on television. However, we soon realized there was only 3 channels left and it was no fun. Chantz was complaining that he could not watch his favourite TV etc so I called up to ask to reconnect again. However, the lady did not come again till Sunday afternoon. Without TV, chantz was bored as I told him to limit his usage of starlight entertainment set as other patients wanted to have a go too.
Joe left at 4 plus to fetch Charles and Charlynn while I stayed in hospital with Chantz. The whole nite I was reading magazines so I was well entertained but Chantz was complaining of boredom. I did not sleep well or at all since there were babies crying, parents snoring, machine beeping away and nurses coming in to check the kids' temperature. The sofa bed was surprisingly quite comfortable but the noisy environment was not. It was such a horrible experience staying in a 6 beds room with the other kids and parents. We could not do anything since we were on insurance and they only paying or 6 beded ward. The expenses here are about twice as compared to Singapore so we dared not upgrade to a single beded room. Luckily for us, Chantz was discharged yesterday morning and we were spared the agony of sleeping there.
On Sunday, Joe came with Charles Charlynn and Channery. The children had fun at the playground outside the room. I was feeling so tired so I really wanted to go back earlier. We ended up leaving only at 4 plus. I was really nervous as I was not sure how to drive back home but luckily I was not that bad la. Found the way home safely and quickly. Kids wanted to stay in so I cooked some simple fare for dinner. After that, I tried to watch Singapore NDP online but could not do so. anyway, too tired to figure it out so we watch TV instead.
Really felt happy not having to drive all the way to the children hospital or eating the not so tasty food there. As parents, we really have no control over our kids mishap and accidents. Staying in hospital has always been bad experience and I hope I don't have to do so again.
Joe left at 4 plus to fetch Charles and Charlynn while I stayed in hospital with Chantz. The whole nite I was reading magazines so I was well entertained but Chantz was complaining of boredom. I did not sleep well or at all since there were babies crying, parents snoring, machine beeping away and nurses coming in to check the kids' temperature. The sofa bed was surprisingly quite comfortable but the noisy environment was not. It was such a horrible experience staying in a 6 beds room with the other kids and parents. We could not do anything since we were on insurance and they only paying or 6 beded ward. The expenses here are about twice as compared to Singapore so we dared not upgrade to a single beded room. Luckily for us, Chantz was discharged yesterday morning and we were spared the agony of sleeping there.
On Sunday, Joe came with Charles Charlynn and Channery. The children had fun at the playground outside the room. I was feeling so tired so I really wanted to go back earlier. We ended up leaving only at 4 plus. I was really nervous as I was not sure how to drive back home but luckily I was not that bad la. Found the way home safely and quickly. Kids wanted to stay in so I cooked some simple fare for dinner. After that, I tried to watch Singapore NDP online but could not do so. anyway, too tired to figure it out so we watch TV instead.
Really felt happy not having to drive all the way to the children hospital or eating the not so tasty food there. As parents, we really have no control over our kids mishap and accidents. Staying in hospital has always been bad experience and I hope I don't have to do so again.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Chantz's progress
I did not feed him antibiotic after 12am since I think a good nite sleep was more important. When I fed him at 7am this morning, his eyes looked swollen still but he said he was not in pain anymore. He was really alert and seemed okay throughout the day. We fed him medicine regularly but the swollen area did not really subside.
Check internet and it seemed that his is only a wound in the front facial area so it probably will not affect the brain. If it is internally infected, the brain might be infected as well and his eyes could turn blind.
Looking at him now I think to play safe, I am going to send him to the hospital. He
was touching his eye area just now and he probably spread the pus to the internal eye tissue. Joe will send him there and I will stay at home. It will take them half an hour to reach the children's hospital. He probably will be on antibiotic drip throughout the night. Sometimes very angry with him. Told him to leave his affected eye level alone and he still wanted to touch it.
Will see how things work out. God bless la.
Check internet and it seemed that his is only a wound in the front facial area so it probably will not affect the brain. If it is internally infected, the brain might be infected as well and his eyes could turn blind.
Looking at him now I think to play safe, I am going to send him to the hospital. He
was touching his eye area just now and he probably spread the pus to the internal eye tissue. Joe will send him there and I will stay at home. It will take them half an hour to reach the children's hospital. He probably will be on antibiotic drip throughout the night. Sometimes very angry with him. Told him to leave his affected eye level alone and he still wanted to touch it.
Will see how things work out. God bless la.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Son's injury
Yesterday we received a call from the school clerk informing us that Chantz had an accident and had a cut near his left eye. When we went to the school. The clerk insisted it needed stitching so we went to the doctor. Waited for an hour and doctor suggested to have a glue instead of stitching. We had the glue and went back to school to fetch Charles and Charlynn. Told him to take good care and not to touch his wound if not he would introduce infection to it.
Well! We all thought that after spending the $45 medical fees, he would be alright but I had a surprise when I picked him up this afternoon. Chantz - my tough son was sobbing and saying the wound hurt. I took off his hat and true enough, the area around his wound was swollen and his eyes was only half opened. Asked him what happened and he dared to say that his friends kept asking what happened to him and kept touching his wound. No need to say, the infection had step in and he needed medical help so I had no choice but to send him to the doctor again. I left Charlynn there with him after registration and drove Charles back to take care of Channery.
While waiting to see doctor, Chantz actually fell asleep on the chair. He was only woken 45 mins later to go into the consultation room. Doctor took his temperature and he was having 38.9 deg celius high fever. Doctor checked his wound and looked really worried. He suggested me to send him to the children's hospital as he might need the strong antibiotic drio but I said to put him on antibiotic and clear out the glue first. With antibiotic, his body will get ot work and the pus will clear out. I told doc will keep him observed for 24 hrs and if he worsens, I will send him to hospital.
Actually I was reluctant to send him hospital as distance is one thing, cost is another. I was a trained first aider before so I have some medical knowledge so I see no need to go to hospital yet. In fact, yesterday I saw no need to visit doctor since the bleeding had stopped but we went since clerk insisted.
Praying that he will recover soon so that I do not have to send him to hospital.
Well! We all thought that after spending the $45 medical fees, he would be alright but I had a surprise when I picked him up this afternoon. Chantz - my tough son was sobbing and saying the wound hurt. I took off his hat and true enough, the area around his wound was swollen and his eyes was only half opened. Asked him what happened and he dared to say that his friends kept asking what happened to him and kept touching his wound. No need to say, the infection had step in and he needed medical help so I had no choice but to send him to the doctor again. I left Charlynn there with him after registration and drove Charles back to take care of Channery.
While waiting to see doctor, Chantz actually fell asleep on the chair. He was only woken 45 mins later to go into the consultation room. Doctor took his temperature and he was having 38.9 deg celius high fever. Doctor checked his wound and looked really worried. He suggested me to send him to the children's hospital as he might need the strong antibiotic drio but I said to put him on antibiotic and clear out the glue first. With antibiotic, his body will get ot work and the pus will clear out. I told doc will keep him observed for 24 hrs and if he worsens, I will send him to hospital.
Actually I was reluctant to send him hospital as distance is one thing, cost is another. I was a trained first aider before so I have some medical knowledge so I see no need to go to hospital yet. In fact, yesterday I saw no need to visit doctor since the bleeding had stopped but we went since clerk insisted.
Praying that he will recover soon so that I do not have to send him to hospital.
Letter to Mother in law
Just now I wrote a letter and sent it to my mother in law. She will probably received it 5 days later. This letter is telling her not to feel obliged to stay together with us after we go back.
The other day, Joe called her up and she mentioned that she does not want to stay with us. She said that she is used to Toa Payoh. We can understand why she does not want to stay with us.
Actually my relationship with my mother in law is somehow strained after Joe left for study and during her last visit to Australia. She was not feeling happy staying with us. During the initial months when we shifted to our new place, she had a lot of complaints about distance from city, too far from MRT and market etc. Joe was not around and kids giving me hell so when she was asking for attention, I could not give it to her. She found me to be bossy and lack respect for her. She also added to my stress as she was not happy with the maids then. She kept thinking the maids were not honest and trustworthy. Maybe it is communication problem but she really was miserable in my place. I ended up changing 4 maids in a year. Maybe somehow she felt Joe is not around and she was obligated to look after the kids on his behalf and I did not show appreciation towards her. Frankly speaking a new job, a new place,children in new school etc all not a fantastic layout and I definitely not in good mood to humour her. I admit I was always pulling a black long face at home at that time. Can't be too happy when I am feeling a bag of nerves. Furthermore, when u are a daughter in law, you are not supposed to have opinions and show face which o course I did all that.
As for the stay in Australia, she felt we cared more about the Auntie Wei Chu who came together with us. She probably felt jeolous that we seemed to care a lot of Wei Yi. Actually we considered Wei Yi to be a guest so we tend to be polite in asking her to do things to occupy her time since Mum insisted in staying at home all the time. I am one to speak my mind and that is a taboo to her. I am now the housewife here and of course I want to have a say in how things to be done here. Many a times, she has her opinion but I told her how things are done here instead.
I do not want to have a strain relationship with her as she is Joe's mum. I know I must always take care of her but staying together is not a good idea for us. Joe will still be here for another half a year or more and I am not sure if I can survived staying with my mum in law. I need to be treated as an adult and I know she had more than 50 yrs of experience as a housewife but somehow people are different and the way we do things might be very varied. She tends to comment on maids way of doing laundry, cleaning and all sorts of domestic chores and I am really not so particular. I will surely go crazy if I were to live in her constant supervision.
As for the letter to her, I of course did not say all these la. I told her we respect her wishes to have her independence and that she will probably be happier without the childrens' rowdy behaviour and noise. Actually very true if she valued her independence and peaceful life. A house full of 4 kids, a maid and me will be total choas, dirt and noise.
She is also better off in Toa Payoh since she is very comfortable there with friends all around her. Transportation is also better for her since it is nearer to city where she goes for concerts and performances.
Of course I also mentioned I am at fault of being a difficult person to live with when I am stressed out. I am used to teaching and I definitely portrayed the Authoritative attitude. I told her I probably won't change since that's me and she really does not have to put up with me. I told her I believe staying apart is going to do us good. I will bring kids to her place once or twice a week and she will be happier.
Moreover, I told her I am going to get a maid and she will have to get used to the idea and tolerate the maid if she is staying with us. She needs to take into consideration of whether she can trust and get along with the maid.
Anyway, lastly I told her about the plan whereby Joe and I had discussed. She had already said she wanted to stay in Toa Payoh since she moved back in Dec 2007. We were already thinking of the possibility of selling the condo after a few yrs to move back to Toa Payoh HDB so as to be near her block. Not staying together but nearby so as to visit her daily. She is now still fit and healthy and she probably does not want us around to tie her down with responsibilites. Let her have her independence and freedom while she is able. We will step in when we are needed by her.
So, you see, many people will probably see me as unfilial but I think that is best for her and us. The strain relationship is no good for either of us. We want to create happier times and memories and staying together is not helping.
Of course, the ball is entirely in my mum in law's court. She has to decide for herself if she is really willing to give up her peaceful life or come still to be with us. If coming to stay, she has to bear with the many things that come with it.
The other day, Joe called her up and she mentioned that she does not want to stay with us. She said that she is used to Toa Payoh. We can understand why she does not want to stay with us.
Actually my relationship with my mother in law is somehow strained after Joe left for study and during her last visit to Australia. She was not feeling happy staying with us. During the initial months when we shifted to our new place, she had a lot of complaints about distance from city, too far from MRT and market etc. Joe was not around and kids giving me hell so when she was asking for attention, I could not give it to her. She found me to be bossy and lack respect for her. She also added to my stress as she was not happy with the maids then. She kept thinking the maids were not honest and trustworthy. Maybe it is communication problem but she really was miserable in my place. I ended up changing 4 maids in a year. Maybe somehow she felt Joe is not around and she was obligated to look after the kids on his behalf and I did not show appreciation towards her. Frankly speaking a new job, a new place,children in new school etc all not a fantastic layout and I definitely not in good mood to humour her. I admit I was always pulling a black long face at home at that time. Can't be too happy when I am feeling a bag of nerves. Furthermore, when u are a daughter in law, you are not supposed to have opinions and show face which o course I did all that.
As for the stay in Australia, she felt we cared more about the Auntie Wei Chu who came together with us. She probably felt jeolous that we seemed to care a lot of Wei Yi. Actually we considered Wei Yi to be a guest so we tend to be polite in asking her to do things to occupy her time since Mum insisted in staying at home all the time. I am one to speak my mind and that is a taboo to her. I am now the housewife here and of course I want to have a say in how things to be done here. Many a times, she has her opinion but I told her how things are done here instead.
I do not want to have a strain relationship with her as she is Joe's mum. I know I must always take care of her but staying together is not a good idea for us. Joe will still be here for another half a year or more and I am not sure if I can survived staying with my mum in law. I need to be treated as an adult and I know she had more than 50 yrs of experience as a housewife but somehow people are different and the way we do things might be very varied. She tends to comment on maids way of doing laundry, cleaning and all sorts of domestic chores and I am really not so particular. I will surely go crazy if I were to live in her constant supervision.
As for the letter to her, I of course did not say all these la. I told her we respect her wishes to have her independence and that she will probably be happier without the childrens' rowdy behaviour and noise. Actually very true if she valued her independence and peaceful life. A house full of 4 kids, a maid and me will be total choas, dirt and noise.
She is also better off in Toa Payoh since she is very comfortable there with friends all around her. Transportation is also better for her since it is nearer to city where she goes for concerts and performances.
Of course I also mentioned I am at fault of being a difficult person to live with when I am stressed out. I am used to teaching and I definitely portrayed the Authoritative attitude. I told her I probably won't change since that's me and she really does not have to put up with me. I told her I believe staying apart is going to do us good. I will bring kids to her place once or twice a week and she will be happier.
Moreover, I told her I am going to get a maid and she will have to get used to the idea and tolerate the maid if she is staying with us. She needs to take into consideration of whether she can trust and get along with the maid.
Anyway, lastly I told her about the plan whereby Joe and I had discussed. She had already said she wanted to stay in Toa Payoh since she moved back in Dec 2007. We were already thinking of the possibility of selling the condo after a few yrs to move back to Toa Payoh HDB so as to be near her block. Not staying together but nearby so as to visit her daily. She is now still fit and healthy and she probably does not want us around to tie her down with responsibilites. Let her have her independence and freedom while she is able. We will step in when we are needed by her.
So, you see, many people will probably see me as unfilial but I think that is best for her and us. The strain relationship is no good for either of us. We want to create happier times and memories and staying together is not helping.
Of course, the ball is entirely in my mum in law's court. She has to decide for herself if she is really willing to give up her peaceful life or come still to be with us. If coming to stay, she has to bear with the many things that come with it.
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