17 Tips for Mother-in-Law to Get Along with Daughter-in-Law

17 Tips for Mother-in-Law to Get Along with Daughter-in-Law

1. Include your daughter-in-law's name on all correspondence intended for both of them. In other words, do not address the envelope only to your son, unless it is a card for his birthday or other personal reason.

2. Treat your son and daughter-in-law equally. If you send your son a birthday card, then send your daughter-in-law a card for her birthday.

3. Treat all grandchildren equally whether biological or not. Treat grandchildren from all your children equally. Grandchildren from your son should be treated equally and lovingly to those of your daughter.

4. Treat all children of your son and daughter-in-law equally. If your son marries someone who has children from a previous marriage, treat them as you would your own grandchildren.

5. Always call before stopping by to visit.

6. Limit your phone calls to once a week, unless there is something important to discuss. You can email as much as you like.

7. Be neutral: never take sides if your son and daughter-in-law have an argument.

8. When visiting, limit overnight stays to no more than one week, unless you are invited to stay longer.

9. Do not spoil your grandchildren with unhealthy foods. You love them and want them to learn healthy eating habits that will last a lifetime.

10. Do not overspend on gifts for your grandchildren, especially if it is extravagant and more than what the parents could have afforded. Your love and attention are more important than materialistic items.

11. Be appreciative of efforts by the daughter-in-law: if she cooks you a meal, thank her and let her know how much you enjoyed it.

12. Be helpful: if your daughter-in-law in the kitchen cooking, go in and help. You can get to know her better and bond.

13. Offer advice only when asked, especially with regards to raising children.

14. Respect the rules of your son and daughter-in-law in their home, i.e. shoes off in the house; if you are babysitting, then honor bedtime rules.

15. Do not let other family members make your daughter-in-law feel unwelcome.

16. Be flexible about the holidays: do not expect your son and daughter-in-law to be with you every holiday dinner on the actual day. For example, they may need to alternate dinners with you and her folks having Thanksgiving with you and Christmas with her folks or vice versa. Or, they may need to celebrate the day before or the day after.

17. Communicate: express how you feel if your feelings are hurt or you feel left out.