My XX number of honeymoon

Many people told us that it's good to take short breaks and go away with yr partner to somewhere. Well! Joe and I try to do so but somehow leaving kids behind kinda scary. Don't know if they will be good and behaves themselves while my parents babysit them. Actually, Channery ahs been skipping childcare as maid is not trained to bring her there. With the other kids at home, she also finds it hard to leave home for school. Been thinking if I should enrol he rin a school nearer to my place.

Okay back to my short trip. First day, we touched down at aout 8am but waited a long time for the over-size luggage. Luckily for us, they did not open our bags to do checks. The custom only sent their trained dog to sniff around our things and we were free to go. Wai Yan came to fetch us and sent us to hotel. We managed to have an early check-in as Joe had called them a day before to inform them that.

W went out for lunch and we ended up eating hor fun and laksa. After that, Joe went to University and I went to Campsie to close my bank account. Total is $5k plus and all transferred to Joe's account. Being a housewife also means I manged to save up even though I had only $350 per week at that time. Not forgetting I taught Chinese school on weekends whereby I was paid $28 an hr. Anyway, glad that every thing was settled. I walked around my old neighbourhood for a while and realized that not much changes have occurred. Sydney is a place where I don't see drastic changes as people here like to conserve and recycle more - even old buildings. Went to my usual supermarkets and even teh cashiers look just as good. Bought a lot of things there. We had baked chicken, salad, bread for dinner. Also bought breakfast cereal and milk as eating out here is not a good option. Cheapest is $4.95 at hungry jack.
After eating, Joe and I watched "Australia Master Chef junior Finale" and the show always amazed us as to how people can come up with so many fantastic dishes.Junior means this time now its the kids having competition and yet it's really amazing to see isabella and Jack being so steady. After the show ended, we decided to sign up for Movie deal. To watch as much show as possible in 24hrs timeframe. I really enjoyed my day in the next day catching all the good shows like "letters to Juliet", "Flying the distance", etc.

The next day Joe was off to office and I just watched movie after movie. Joe bought back dinner for us and we ended eating vegetarian pak thai and frie noodles plus fried popiah. AFter dinner, we watched more shows and "konkask" at 12 plus.


on Wednesday, I bought a one day buses, trains and ferries pass and took a ferry to my favourite beach, Manly beach. Nothing changes there and I ended up buying lots of things from Aldi. I took the bag and went to meet Joe's friends for lunch. Late as the ferry took more than what I expected. We had Thai Food and the seafood green curry was yummy. aFter lunch, Joe went back office with friends and continued my shopping. I took a train to Paddy's market and went about shopping happily. I again bought lots of stuff.

Went back to Joe's office around 5 plus to go facebook. After that, we took a train back to hotel. At around 7 plus, we walked down to King's wharf trying to find a decent eating place but I finf the places too crowded and noisy. We had steak, salad and fries plus nan bread and curry at the food court. After dinner we walked around the place and walked to star city Casino as we had never set foot inside. Very sad as the ang Mo security checked the ang mo before us but never asked for our ID. Maybe they do not care so much about Asians. WE walked around the place - noisy, crowded and bright. We used $5 to play jack pot and ended up wining $7. WE decided not to continue playing after half an hr as the winnings keep going up and down. We walked back to hotel and shared an ice cream with the money we won. Fun night whereby we just relaxed and chit chattd and had fun.

On Thursday, Joe went back to Office and I slept in till about 11 plus. I took a train and met him at Marrickville. We met Jean for lunch and it was a pleasant reunion. She looks good and still quite the same. We talked about our lives and how our kids were doing in Singapore. After lunch, we went back to Jean's place to wrapped up my kids' art pieces. WE ended up with a bag full of fragile items :>

After lunch, we went to buy a box of chocolate for Wai Yan and Larissa as we were supposed to go and pick up our stuff from their house. Not nice to go empty handed la. We packed up and Waiyan had to lend us his big trolley bag as we simply have too much stuff. After that, wai Yan drove us to a Korean BBQ buffet restaurant and it's really nice and value for money. We had a fun time talking and eating all the food. We came back to hotel around 10pm and started packing till around 11 plus before we hit the pillow.

This morning Joe and I checked out of the hotel around 9am and I had been shopping and wondring around since then. Now is 2.16pm and it is nearly time for me to go back to hotel. I bought a monorail day ticket and can take unlimited monorail rides in city centre. Went to fish market and really miss coming here with my family to buy fresh seafood. Got to run now as time runninglate

Lifestyle changes for my family after Lose to win

As a mother who does marketing, I can buy whatever I like for the family. After joining lose to win, I am now more cautious of what I am putting into my loved ones' stomachs.

Starting from breakfast, I now switch to reduced sugar soybean milk instead of cow's milk. Less animal fats and equally good in protein and other minerals. Do you know that in order to get some calcium from milk, we have to lose some calcium first in order to get the amount? Furthermore we need a daily dose of vitamin D and C so as to receive the necessary calcium. As for cereal, they now eat YOG Active -rice grains cereal with probiotic yogurt and real strawberries/blueberries or post selects - whole grain cereals cranberries almond crunch/ crunchy pecans. Still occasionally buy coco crunch cereal as kids grow up eating that so cannot totally take it out yet. A s for bread, now we eat the Gardenia Low GI Nutrigrain bread. At first I had lots of complaints but now the kids are used to the taste and texture. Low GI bread means they actually feel full as glucose is released slowly into our blood stream so they feel energetic for a longer period of time.

Lunch and dinner needs more creativity and patience. I will try to have a balanced meal of carbohydrates, protein and vegetables. However, many a times kids do not fancy rice in afternoon so it's usually noodles for them. Tried having bee hoon for kids but they still prefer yellow mee. Will need to find out where do they sell brown rice noodles. Simple fare for afternoon and kids sometimes prefer to eat bread even though we cook.

For evening, we have brown rice for dinner, either chicken, toufu or fish for protein, mixed vegetables- preferably 5 types of colour. Boiled Soup is usually served also as kids love having something on the rice. Now I have a special scoop to scoop up all the oil that floats on top of the soup before I dish out the soup to my family. Lots of fun preparing food with my domestic helper. However, I must confess that my kids still prefer their fish fry in pan than bake or steam. Little oil is used as the special pan is able to fry well with little oil. Finding good cooking utensils also is good for health. Oil for cooking is now Ntuc home brand olive oil. Tasted quite the same as other brands so sticking to the cheaper version.

As for fruits, my kids are able to get as many variety of fruits as they like in the fridge. No sweet treats for them nowadays so they will get fresh fruits instead. Lots of apples, oranges, plums, bananas for them and good to see they enjoy their fruit daily. I do buy Marigold power veggies and fruits twice a week to satisfy their cravings for sweet drinks. Think these two are the better options available.

What else? Well! My kids love mushroom soup so now I will buy low fat carnation milk to replace full cream. Taste quite the same and kids still enjoy having that for lunch. Coffee and tea now I go for Kosong - meaning no more sugar or milk added and so far still enjoying the unique taste and every cup is like a little achievement for myself.

Exercise for the whole family. Yes, we sign up for courses together, swim together and play together more. My 5 yr old can climb 12 storeys staircase non-stop from basement up. I still take a breath somewhere but she is good. My 3 older kids always beat me in the swimming competition. Lots of fun now when we exercise together. Hubby and I make time to go gym if we did not exercise during the daytime. Lots of time set for exercise rather than sleep as we realized our bodies feel better after a swim or a workout.

Anyway, these are the little changes I do for my family. Can't control what they eat outside the house but at least I am proud to say that they are eating right at home :>

Lose to Win Team Mates

Before Lose to win, Me and Janet are serving in the same grassroot organization Admiral Garden WEC. Due to the difference in age group, I was not really close to her. She is like a mummy figure in our committee and she is always busy. With this competition, I get to know her better and I must salute her. She is a dedicated teacher and co-worker. She has faced a bit of challenges in her life but she has overcome them. As a grandma, she is willing to spend time looking after her grandchild. That is already a very good example for many senior citizens who simply refused to help in their kids' childbearing years.

Next is Mr Terence. He has the ability to ruffle my feathers. He is caring in his own ways and he is honest in his interactions with me. I do feel he is too straightforward and too forthright but he has my salute as he dares to be different and has his own opinions. Do I like him? Yes I do love him as a pal. He can be my pal but not my husband la if not sure quarrel everyday. Anyway, these few weeks he has been really nice and very confident of himself. He actually shines and have the X-factor already.

The next group member whom is everyone's pet is Tan Chee Weng whom we all call Weng. He is the baby in our group. Being baby as he is very playful and always trying to liven the atmosphere. I can never associate him as a father of 2 kids as he simply does not act as one. He can appeared as happy go lucky but he is actually a very determined lad. He wanted to lsoe weight so that he can see his kids grow up. That is one thing that I really admire about him. He has lost 27kg with lots of passion. Love his energy and can do attitude. With him around, life is never boring and he is a big inspiration to all of us.

Lastly, we have our lovely Siew Hwa Auntie. She has retired but still goes back to work. She joined this competition with her sister. She did not join us in our exercises as she joined the Chengshan group with her sister. During Mediacorp filming, she has to come and join us. Even wihtout a lot of time together, we keep in touch via sms. Many a times I see a very independent lady with a will of an iron.

As for me, I have a lot of faults la. I take things too seriously and pushes others too hard sometimes. Anyway, I hope our team will stay together and stay in contact with one another and to constantly remind each other to have a healthy lifetyle and body.

Filming for Lose to win

Many people asked me how it was like filming for mediacorp. Frankly speaking, this is not my first time doing any programme for them so I kinda know what to expect. Now they are showing the last 3 episodes but a lot of shots that we took were not shown.

Besides going for the group exercises, we also have to go mediacorp for filming plus taking time off to NTUC and Kopitiam. All the filming were done in August except a few of it in September. Weng and Terrence cut their hair and were chided by the producer as he will have a hard time doing editing.

Actually the filming crew and director had been quite nice to us. They were the ones who helped to polish all the sinful food we saw on TV, thus sparing us from gaining extra weight. Alfred the director always wants to be Mr Nice and yet sometimes it was difficult to please everyone. We all gave him a big Hug on the final assessment for a job well done. Love Ponsak the presenter as he is really very friendly and supportive. All the time spent with him and I never even take photographs with him :>.

We have finally come to the end of our lose to win journey and I think the extra media exposure did help in pushing us to do our very best. Well! It's on national TV so sure must lose weight if not how to face everyone?

Btw did I tell you all I actually wore my swim wear and won the swimming contest? No Bikini ok. I wore my aqua aerobic gear. Cool!

Community Day

Were asked by Alex to do a write up for Woodlands Community Day. The following is what happened on that day:

Held on 31st October 2010 at the open field beside Causeway Point, from 8.00am to 4.00pm, Woodlands Community Day was as what the Daddy’s Rockers had sung “It’s a Beautiful Day”.

That morning started off with line dancers dancing away to wonderful and upbeat music. Their vigour and enthusiasm kickstarted everyone’s day with lots of energy. After that, we had the Briskwalkers warm up with the Great Singapore Workout before Ms Ellen Lee, MP for Sembawang GRC and Advisor for Woodlands Constituency, flagged them off for a brisk walk around Causeway Point. Those who participated in the walk were given a lucky draw ticket after that.

At 8.50am, Ms Ellen Lee launched the new interest group “Performing Arts Group” for Zone 11 RC. The objective of this interest group is to train, cultivate and showcase Woodlands talents who would perform infuture Woodlands events and they definitely managed to do so that day by mesmerizing the audience with their song and dance.

At around 9.30am, our Guest of Honour, Minister for Health, Mr Khaw Boon Wan, arrived to grace our event. He was welcomed by Ms Ellen Lee, our grassroot leaders, Woodlands FLC Percussion group, Lion Dance troupe, Malay Silat performers and Indian Bollywood Dancers. Mr Khaw could not help but stop at the exhibition showcasing the work of People Association (PA) from kampong days to modern Singapore along the entrance.

After all our guests were seated, Evergreen Secondary School and Sweetlands Childcare Centre took centre stage, giving a band and dance performance respectively. At around 10am, Mr Khaw was invited on stage to launch the Northwest Green Kitchens campaign, which sought to encourage residents to reduce clutter in their refrigerators as a green living lifestyle and to emit less greenhouse gases.
At around, 10.15am, Mr Khaw gave out the awards/plagues for the Rice Donors who had contributed generously to needy families in Woodlands. They were Evangelical Free Church, An-Nur Mosque, ShangDi Miao Chai Kong Temple, Mr Lim Tju Eng, Ms Alice Sim and Mdm Helen Wong.

Mr. Khaw was requested to stay on stage to launch our new FLC initiative - Daddy’s Rockers. Mr Khaw, together with Ms Ellen Lee and grassroot leaders led the group in playing a tune together. The impromptu performance given by our Minister, our MP and grassroot leaders was most admirable.

After launching, Mr Khaw visited the photo taking booth where residents had their photographs taken. By pasting one of their two photographs on the Woodlands Logo board, they participated in our attempt to enter the Singapore Record Book. With residents’ support, we managed to beat the record within record time.

Next, Mr. Khaw was greeted by the cute little faces of our PCF telematch participants. The little ones were all eager to participate in the games and every kid put her best foot forward. After cheering on these little athletes, Mr Khaw visited the Singapore Sports Council Booth where residents put in their well wishes to Singapore athletes taking part in the 19th Commonwealth Games in New Delhi and the 16th Asian Games in Guangzhou” and also participated actively in the four sports games, namely football, Basketball, Cycling and Boxing.

Mr Khaw then visited the school booths and was introduced the programmes and activities in these schools. He was also keen to learn more about Sata’s Free Chest X-ray Screening and Realm of Tranquility’s free traditional Medicine Clinic.

At one of the booths, Mr Khaw was shown how Tzu Chi Foundation had been doing their part in protecting our Earth Resources and transforming used materials like plastic bottles into blankets and T-shirts. Many residents took part in this programme by exchanging their used water/glass bottles for a free gift.

Besides the various stakeholders like Town Council, NEA, Restroom Association, there were also stalls selling food and drinks. Mr Khaw was rather impressed with the AVA booth where a chef demonstratedliquid and powder eggs could be used in cooking. AVA was working to encourage Singaporeans to use alternative sources of eggs in event of a shortage due to bird flu.

Mr Khaw also visited our Admiral Garden WEC booth where our ladies make and sell jewelry, bags, pencil cases and five stones from recycled items. Mr Khaw was impressed with the many activities conducted by our ladies.

Besides that, Mr Khaw also visited our IRCC, Woodlands YEC, Woodlands New Media and Admiral garden Astronomy booths. He is impressed with what Woodlands Constituency had achieved over the years.

Last but not least, he was happy to visit the booths of Hospice Care and Centre for Enabled Living which were educating and assisting families in caring for senior citizens as our population aged increasingly.

At around 11am, we had a Jenga Challenge in which two families took turns to draw out gigantic jenga blocks from the lower rows and pile them up towards the ceiling. The final Jenga stack broke the Singapore Record Book. Everyone present was totally absorbed in the game as you could hear the Wo, Ah etc sound when the participants tried to place the mega Jenga piece on top of the stack.

Amidst all these activities, participating residents were presented a goodie bag with a great variety of handy items such as sunflower oil, fruit juice, drink and fan, plus a lucky draw ticket to win the top prize of $1,000 in cash. They were also coupons to exchange for delicious foodstuff such as Mee Siam, Roti Prata, vegetarian noodles, popcorn and candy floss. All these for a bargain price of $3!

The Woodlands Community Day was interesting and enriching and all ended well at 4.00pm after the Woodlands Made to Wear competition.

Well! That was what happened. Everything ran rather smoothly that day. I was especially proud and thrilled that day as my kids and husband performed together with Minister Khaw. They were tired as they needed to practice for 3 nights but luckily all turned out well. That was me, a really proud Mama that day.

Moreover, WEC booth was set up properly as planned and I managed to show case my needlework talent by sewing 5-stones on the spot. Managed to sell a few items for charity.

Volunteer work? Lots of hardship, tears but also lots of joy and friendship and support.

My Lose to Win Journey

My lose to win journey is something that will stay with me forever. Even though it has only been a 3 month's competition, it has totally changed my out look of life. When you are not looking and noticing, life happens. I have really no idea that I had ballooned so much after I returned from Sydney. Life was stressful without Joe and the way to escape was to eat and laze around.

When I first being asked to enrol for the programme, I thought why not, it will be like in the biggest loser in Australia and America and I definitely can do it. The fact that we get to go back to our family is the difference. We still have to cope with real-life issues, looking after our family or working hard at our work desks.

The exercise sessions by the coaches were good as they really push you to do your best. When you thought you could not do it, you simply outdo yourself. Many a times, I am most discouraged when I am made to do the exercises alone at home. It's really playing mind game with myself. I have to keep telling myself I have to do it. If not for myself, I have to do it for my team mate. Terrence once commented I am Kiasu, Well! I think I am just being a responsible team player. Those people who quit the competition halfway means their team could not qualify for the final selection. I feel for them. My motto is to always do your very best and live life to the fullest so that I will not have regrets afterwards.

Somehow life has a way of testing us, I was unable to do much for nearly 3 weeks as I had strain ligaments. Up to this day I still not sure how I injured myself, but I think the running plus everything adds to it. Being a flat-footer, I find running very tiring and definitely it adds pressure on my foot. Did my 5 km i-run with the others and really go all out for all the exercises. However, I forgot the coach's advice - always listen to your body. If you body says stop or slow down, we must listen and try not to overdo things. I was impatient to get back on my feet and somehow new and old injuries, everything adds up and I ended up resting for nearly 3 weeks. At the end, I am 300g short of reaching my 15% weight lost target.

What else is so good about lose to win? Well! I did a lot of research and found out many things that I was not aware of. We are really what we eat and I really did revamp my family's diet. My kids do not like the change at first but now they are used to it already. Someone has to be the catalyst of change and I am glad to be the one. The nutrition classes also help us to have a clearer picture of how we can have options and still enjoy our food.

Actually the ability to step out of the house and go to exercise is the greatest gift of all. Now I do not dread exercise so much as I used to be. Frankly speaking, I still sometimes drag myself to the pool or gym but once I start, there's no stopping. I simply enjoy the workout while the endorphins set in. (Endorphins are neurotransmitters produced in the brain that reduce pain). On days when I was dead tired, I still drag myself there and somehow at the end of exercise, I would have regain my strength. Exercise is also now the "ME" time for myself. It allows me to totally block out all the stressors of life and let me relax. With my MP3 plugged in, I simply work my body while listening to the music I like. No "mummy, mummy I want this, mummy mummy I want that". I am able to regroup myself and truly enjoy my own leisure time. I give and give to others and the 1 hr or so exercise time is the time I enjoy being with myself. When I accomplished what I set out to do like completing 10 laps of swim or an hr of gym, that's when I know I have done something for myself. Sense of achievement and contentment.

Besides all these, I find learning to say "NO" is okay. Used to be a "yes" woman all the time. Many a times, I am the rubbish bin for my kids' untouched food. For food that I deem not good for health, I have the ability to say no. We now know we should ask for less portions if can't finish all the food. We must also ask for more fruit and vegetables to fill ourselves up instead of having too much carbohydrates etc. The art of eating, taking small bites and share out the food with others. The one thing I learn too is not to deprive yourself. Taking treats once a while to reward yourself is essential for mental health. If you do not take it to satisfy yr craving, you will gorge yourself silly when you have the chance. The first Monday after the end of competition, I was gorging on Nasi Briyani and BBQ stingray. Think the calories for the day was nearly a hefty 2000. I simply had not touched these 2 in 3 months and I must have it immediately after the competition. Funny why I always have a thing for spicy food. Nowadays, I still try to estimate my daily intake of calories to be around 1200, not less than that if not our bodies will start to prevent burning off the energy and thus a lower metabolism rate.

Furthermore, learning that we need water, water and more water. Water is a very essential part of our diet. It helps to remove toxins from our bodies and helps in losing weight. Like food, when we have less than 2 litres of water, our bodies will go into protective mode and we have water retention.

Last but not least, I also find having an idol in the programme is good as he/she will motivate you. You may want to talk to people, interact and put yr entries in the lose to win web page so as to motivate one another.I find it most useful as it allows you to feel important and useful and somehow there are people who care and who bothers to acknowledge yr entries. One of them is HPB Hendrick who seems to be always there.

Used to say I can't do exercise and too tired. Now I know I can and I should just do it.

Charles again

Yesterday sent mum to Yishun Hospital A&E since she has been complaining of feeling unwell. WE were worried that she might ahve a mild stroke again like what happened last year. Luckily after all the checks, she is able to come home for further observation. Docs reassured her its her reaction to disbetes medication that she is feeling numbness in her limbs. Adeline came to take over at 11pm and I went to mediacorp to film our lose to win profile. Took only about 2 hrs to film us all. After that came home bout 3 plus trying to catch a wink but can't. Went out at about 6 plus for lose to win group exercise.

Yesterday we had kick boxing. Really quite fun and we sweated a lot. I think I have a problem with my left side. Simply can't coordinate well. After exercising, I went CCMC meeting and came back around 10pm. Charles was still awake and he slept with Channery and me. He seemed to be in a good mood lei.

This morning woke Charles up and he started to act up again. Screaming shouting and throwing things. He even threw his spectacls. Well! I was so mad I gave him a good thrashing as well! He really pushes my buttons nad getting on my nerves. Told him I will concentrate on nurturing the other three kida who are angels and won't feel bad that I am a losuy mum in his eyes as he is a demon kid. Can't stand his sight and all. Well! he even climbed over the ledge and wanting to throw his pants down and such. I know I should not tell him to die but I did anyway. My life will be so much better off without him. Why he is reluctant to go school I think i know why. Today is Mathematics exam and he is incapable of scoring since he has been missing lessons. He said he hated the fact that during exam he has to sit many hours in hi ssat after finishing his test. He is simply finding all sorts of excuses for his incapability.

I was very tempted to call police already but Joe said no. Think he will be sent to boys home or foster parents house. He simply does not fit into this society if he keeps thinking of escaping school. No schooling - no future. I am not going to spents tons on money sending him to international school as I am going to keep the money for the other kids or for our old age.

Many friends told me to have patience with Charles. Well! He is not their son. I can't like what they say to thank Charles of teaching me patience. He is giving me a chance to be a better person maybe but I find I am just so common a person. I am not a saint.

Time waits for no man. When Charles is old enough, he will know that reality is harsh and he better works hard for his future. Because of him, the other kids will have no TV and computer time for the rest of the week.

Lose to Win Filming

For 2 wks I have been helping to film the lose to win Challenge by HPB. Even with the extra filiming and everything, I was able to "take" it. However, yesterday's filming really put a down to everything and I am really very upset.

Well! Actually I will be doing a disservice to healthier eating cause I have "screwed" up cooking the dish. With reduced fat coconut milk and skin off chicken drumnsticks, the chicken actually will taste well if there is enough time to slowly the dish till all imgredients were tender and could melt in mouth. The onions would have disappeared, the carrots,potatoes and meat cooked through and soft.

However, without factor in time constraints, the chicken was not tasty enough and vegetables were not fully cooked. with little time, I should have marinate the chicken wiht curry powder but I did not so the dish which only took about 15 mins to prepare is a total; failure. Should have sliced everything into thinner slices and marinate the chicken properly.

Well! I am prepared to be a laughing stock on TV for a while la. Not really a great cook so I can now hang my apron and leave cooking to maid or any one else.

The fact that people might think low fat is not the way to cook worries me. Actually cooking healthily is good for health. Coming back singapore and eating outside regularly has taken a toll on my body and I have proof as I put on so much weight ater coming back home from Australia. My family ate home-cooked healthy meals there and we are really what we eat. Singapore's hawkers' food is nice but somehow what goes in the dish is really undesirable.

If I can redo what I did yesterday, I will gladly do so. However, what's done cannot be undone so going to brave it all.

Btw hated the fact that I was the "Lousy" cook and everyone just treated it like a big joke. One of my friend commented it tasted like what grandma used to taste and presenter said his grnadma must be a lousy cook. What a crude way to comment and it's such an insult to his grandma and to me. I went through the filming from 8 plus to 10n plus feeling simply sian and defeated and no mood to do anything.

Somehow yesterday not my day. Rushing to fetch Janet and was late as I was held up at nealy every traffic light. Total 12 and I took nearly twice the time to reach there. After that, driving to Redhill and was nearly late again. Hate the fact that things do no turn out well. It's really quite a tedious thing to drive. Yesterday after sending the other 4 participants back, I was home at 11.40pm.

Can I face the crew again with dignity? Maybe not as I think I am really affected by my cooking outcome. Well! wish me luck to go through this filming.

Charles's fate

On Monday, Charles again absent himself from school. No matter what I told him, he simply refused to cooperate. I was desperate but he simply bo chap. I went to the Guan yin's temple for prayers. Maybe like what the Guan yin's nun said, my eldest son must be someone's godson if not he would give me lots of trouble. Luckily my brother and sis-in-law have agreed to help me out. Do not know when is the best time but somehow I will try whatever ways to help his and my life better.

On Tuesday, Charles went to school. He just up and go and the boys even invited their friends over. They claimed they wanted to do groupwork but I thought more for fun and more fun. Well! At least the boys have friends in school.

Meeting Hong yesterday and we started talking about our kids and I thought Charles ok but guessed what? This morning he flared up in school and dashed out in a fit from his class after scolding his teacher. The students managed to get hold of him and sent him to the counsellor's room. He could be so reckless and dangerous when he is angered.

Well! Hope charles will learn to curb his anger and learn how to manage his emotions if not he will suffer. I really feel like sending him to IMH ( institute of Mental health) or the boys home. He is a pain in everywhere for me and I really do not know how to handle him anymore. I know I am a lousy mum. Well! not jsut me, yesterday's newspaper a pastor's son also got into trouble with law and a tyrant to others. Why God chose me to bear this burden I do not know but I hope I won't have to carry it for long.

Charles's fate is not in my hands or in anyone's hands. his fate whether good fortune or not is only in HIS own Hands. God bless him please!

Last weekend

Last Saturday I woke up and drove Channery to her buddy class. Charlynn and Mum tagged along. When we reached there, Channery was happy to be able to join the class. After thar, I drove mum back to Song's place. The whole journey to and fro Outram to Sengkang took us a hour as there was jam on expressway. Actually I find that nowadays the traffic was horrible. Too many cars on the roads and too many impatient and not so skillful drivers. Not that I am biased, I think we should not be more awared that new drivers tend to make more mistakes than seasoned drivers. Maybe we should make rules like driving how many hours on the roads before one can pass the driving test just like in Australia. More hours clocked in before one can speed. Anyway I think problem is still too many cars on the roads la.

when we came back at 11 plus, I was so tired that I wanted to miss an award presentation event that started at 1pm. Luckily one of my friends drove so I just drove to Woodlands and Tongpang his car. I am feeling so tired after all the driving that I felt so tired. At the event, we were treated to a live skit. We were not so impressed as it was not fun to be disrupted from a show halfway to give away awards.

I was not very happy with my maid as she did not take initiative to cook for the kids when I could not make it on time.

On Sunday I left house just after 7am as I needed to report for the celebratew wellness event. Really see no need to report so early but the person in charge wanted us there early. We ended up having breakfast there and then jsut wait. Nothing to do much actually. At about 10am, we went to become ushers for VIPs and finished doing so at 11 plus. Nowadays nothing really interests me anymore. I could not really enjoy myself as I just felt torn when I was elsewhere and kids stayed at home. I left event at about 1 plus to fetch mum. After that I became Santa clause to give out the dumplings that we ordered.

So glad we were home finally at 3 plus. Frankly speaking, without Joe aound to jagar the kids, I really cannot give my whole heart out to help out in any event.

Meeting strangers

Yesterday I went to a focused group discussion on Science Centre Membership scheme. Actually I agreed to it while I was driving so I really have no idea what I was getting myself into. I left woodlands at about 6pm after fetching Channery from the childcare. There were two accidents and traffic jams along the way and we ended up reaching the place at 7.10pm. Charlynn and Channery had to stay outside while I went in for the discussion. The girls were really well-behaved.

There were an American PR who married a French man who had 3 boys, a single man from India, A father of 4 from Philiipines whi is a PR working in IT, a single lady who always go science centre with his nephews and nieces. We ended up talking about wanting more to be done in the exhibitions in science Centre rather than how to improve memberships. A lot of fun as we all have our own opinion.

I really must bring my kids to Science Centre more often as I do not really know what are the benefits for members. Seems like I am not doing the Science Centre credits by not bringing my kids there.

I am worried about the boys

On Tuesday I had a big argument with Joe Fai over his stay at Australia. He wanted to come back in september and do his PhD here. he even thought that going LTA from Morning to Evening would help. well! it might or might nit work out. In my opinion, he should make up his mind to complete everything before he comes back. Don't understand what he is doing at all and really what appears to me is he wasting time- taking his own sweet time there while I suffer here with the kids. Can't help feeling resentment and anger towards him. I have no idea where the sensible, determined and focused Joe has gone to. Now it seems like I am dealing with kid No 5 who is not sure of what he wants and how he is going to take it. PHD literally really means permanent head damage in the sense that one cannot think clearly. He ought to be able to think clearly and concentrate on getting his acts together but I can only feel his stress and helplessness. He kept saying nobody does it earlier than 4 yrs. I rebutted him as I knew of someone who could finished his Ph D earlier than that. Finding excuses for himself is so out of character for him. I wondered loneliness and despair have anything to do with his lack of focus?? Actually I am also rather worried that if I force him too much he might just give way and collapse so I do not dare to exert too much pressure on him. Kids will always be naughty and life goes on. As long as I learn how to expect and don't get so worked up,things will be better.

Yesterday Charles again did not go school. He claimed that he was tired and questioned why he had to go school so early. Well! He is one stressed kid who is refusing school as he is not finding success there. No friends and only work and he finds his inability getting in his way and he could not perform. Why the younger brother has the courage to take on the challenge but not him? I did not flare up but just tell him what to expect. After school, I brought Chantz for prawn fishing so as to show him I reward good behaviour. Hopefully he wants to cooperate and not forced by me.

Well! Somehow things getting better as Joe and I had something to talk about when I had to go and change my whole car remote system yesterday. Read so many magazines' articles that really set thinking about my relationships with others. To find someone whom u love and that person loves u back wholeheartedly is a blessing. will try to support him emotionally and by actions. No 1 rule is to mange myself well so as I won't be a burden to him.

This morning Charles went to school after much persuasion. He got off car wuite happily and lets hope he enjoys his stay there today.

Life is so hectic with boys but I must be thankful that they make my life so interesting too. If life is a bed of roses, I still wanna brave the thorns to pluck the beautiful blossoms at the top of the rose plant. No venture no gain. Let me have faith that I have the courage to carry on.

What's up lately?

What's up lately? Since Joe went back to Australia, I went through a stage of grief period as I was down with flu and feeling really sorry for myself. Everything went like black and white tv and life has no special meaning.

On the first day of school 28th June, Charles did not go to school. I was really angry with him as he threw his bag at my car and then ran off. I did not pick up his bag and drove off. The kind security guard picked up his bag for him. That afternoon I took Charlynn nad Chantz to New York new york for their good behaviour. To charles I told him that night he had to choose whether he was going. I will just get ready and leave and he was able to do so for Tue, Wed and Thursday.

Luckily for me, I had to go Filming for Win council on 29th and 30th June and I was able to pull myself out of my bad mood. Had fun acting against Edmund Chen ZhiCai and the other ladies from other PA organizations. Total time taken is about 8 hrs and it will be burned into a CD Rom to be distributed to all Women's executive committess (WEC)in Singapore. It will be on the Win council website too. Well! Hopefully more people will know what is WEc and what is Win so that we can get more women to join us as friends.

On 1st July, Joe's friend, Alejandro came to visit. He had 10 hrs to spend before he board a plane to Europe. I met him at the airport with the kids and then we went jalan jalan. We visited the Marina Barrage then to chinatown to visit the Chinatown Heritage Centre. We walked around and he loved to take pictures of temples and such. After that, we rushed off so as to fetch Channery from child care. We barely reached there by 7pm. After that, we had dinner at the park restaurant in CCK garden. We ordered the local specialties and ended up I had to tabao most of the food back home since our Chile friend is not used to our food. We sent the kids home and we showed off our place. We left the kids at about 8.30pm as I wanted to show him the night scene at Duxton - Pinnacle at Outram. I was not sure how to go into the carpark so we took a few turns. Luckily I had my GPS with me and we managed to go in by 9pm. We walked about and guessed what? We only could see lots of lights- mostly from the container port nearby. REally not so impressive lei.

We left at about 9.45pm so that he could catch his plane. I talked to him but I do not know if he was listening. Many hours of flight and walking made him rather tired already. I dropped him off at the departure gate without sending him into the airport since he assured me he knows what to do. He gave me a thank you hug and I drove off after that. Mission accomplished and frankly speaking, he appeared to be too reserved la since we only met once in Sydney. Well! if he ever visits us again, I hope to open his heart so that he will be more relaxed beside me :>

On Friday, Charles again acted up and refused to go school. REason probably he did not complete his homework or simply lazy. The boys went to DAS re-assessmenr and the results showed that their IQ is very high but ability to do work very low. They need help in their school work. Why my sons are so special I do not know. hopefully they know that nobody can help them except themselves.

On Saturday, I brought Channery to Outram Everton PArk. She enjoyed herself very much as a buddy. She is starting to become more sensible and independant and that is really good news. When we came back, I had a severe headache and went to rest. Told boys they had scouts viking meeting but they decided not to go since they said its a long wkend and they gonna enjoyed it. Ok with me since I am not in a good state of mind to drive. When I woke up at 5pm, I decided to just order KFC for dinner. Just fifteen minutes later, my neighbour at first storey came huffing and puffing at my door. He was extremely angry as my naughty Chaantz had threw two buckets of water down to their place. I told Chantz to apologise but he was too stubborn to do so. After telling me off for 10-15 mins, my neighbour finally "happy" and said okay after I told him I will cane my son. I was fuming mad at that time as I had to be the one to be scolded and reprimanded. My neighbour is a father so he should be more understanding but he is nothing like that. Maybe he has no naughty boys who always get into trouble :<

Just when I was canning and scolding Chantz, the security guards came to investigate. Why can't they jsut leave me alone? I know I am a failure in parenting my child but I really cannot do much if their behaviour is beyond my comprehension too. Feeling really lousy after that for the following days. I had no motivation and even did not stay long while volunteering at RC. I really have no confidence that my children will behave staying at home with my maid. The pressure to be constantly on alert mode really made me jumpy and angry.

On Monday, we went to visit my mum in law as we have not done so since Joe left for Sydney. We had roti prata at TPY. Can't help thinking thoughts like life is nothing to look forward to. Dying now and later at 80 yrs ols is the same isn't it? Quite negative outlook of life actually. Moreover, I was really pissed off by the fact that we arrived earlier but could not get a seat but those later than us getting a seat and able to have their food faster than us. I know my order was rahter small as kids only want plain prata but that should not mean we had to wait longer lei.

We arrived at my mum-in-law's place and she was really happy to see the little ones. She even brought them downstairs to buy them their favourite ice-cream. We stayed for an hour and then its goodbye time. Called up mum and she was at ikea with Aidi so we drove there to join them. Channery wanted to go to the playroom and I ended up waiting outside for an hour before she went in. When I joined Aidi and her sis and mum-in-law, they had fed my kids and I did not have to order more food since my sis had ordered or me. Pai say that she refused to keep the money I offered. While I was eating, children were playing at a nearby pavillion and suddenly all hells broke loose and Charles was crying buckets. A little indian boy boxed him so hard on his stomach and face that he broke his spectacles.

What was annoying was that the mum kept saying children playing and never even say sorry and offered to pay for the broken spectacles. I was angry so I scolded Charles for not able to fend for himself. I even threatened to deduct the cost from his allowance. I said all these for the indian mum but she just played dumb. I wondered how the son will be when he grows up? Mum simply will not pay for damages and ignoring his son's bad behaviour. I am proud that Charles did not pulled a punch on the little boy. What I should have done is hugged charles and comforted him and demand some medical and compensation for the broken spectacles but I just walked away feeling extremely agitated. I am going to stand up for my rights if such things happen again. By letting the mother and son go, I am guilty of causing the child to shrink responsibility for his actions too. WEll! I took this opportunity and told the children how others will feel when someone did ud wrong and never say sorry as well as we should do what's right.

Yesterday we came back from ikea and boys only started to do homeowrk at 10pm again. Instead of losing my temper, we did the work and everyone felt happy after that. Lowering my expectations and life is easier la.

Therefore you all can see that I am really a busy mama. My life is full of actions and tears and laughters sometimes. I feel very happy when my kids are confident and happy. simple but difficult to achieve sometimes.

Living in bliss

Joe was back since 10th June and my girls and I just sent him off back to Australia. with him around, life is bearable and wonderful. Kids have someone they can turn to and they are actually quite happy to have the extra attention given. We did not do much during these ten days. On the first day, Joe came back at 3 plus and then we fetched Cahnnery from school and had dinner with my mum -in-law. On Friday, we went to child Guidance clinic whereby Charles threw tantrum refusing to go and even climbed out to the corridor ledge and threatened to jump off the building. Joe and I pulled him back and we dragged him to CGC. If he took one step out, he could be killed and what more can I say? He simply trying to win all the time. If he did the silly act and died, there will be a lot of ifs and life will never be the same again. We sent him into the classroom and after that Joe went next door to donate his blood while I attended the parents' session. When he came out from his anger management class, I could see a happy child and he was actually beaming wwith joy. where was the angry little boy who refused to go out and even attempted suicide? Well! After that, we drove back, had dinner and sent Charlynn to Abacus. Later on, we went to Woodlands CC as there was an event on World cup opening and kids had fun there playing Wii Soccer and table soccer. We even saw how a gentleman went about manipulating the football around his body.

On the third day, we went to Adeline's place to wrap ba Chang and fetched my parents home. On sunday, we went to Kelong. The trip was most memorable as kids get to play with their cousins and they had fun fishing. We ate, sing Karaoke and sleep. The toilet was like old kampong, our waste went straight to the ocean and we had to scoop water for our baths. Kids mingle and interacted with one another and everyone had fun.

We came back on Monday afternoon after taking our lunch at a restaurant in Malaysia. there was a long queue at the Singapore custom and I wondered why so.

On Tuesday, we were so tired so we stayed at home. One reason also because the boys were not cooperating. On Wednesday, we went to Science Centre without the boys. The girls and us had fun and at about 2pm we drove to meet Channery's teachers for the meet the parents session. We also got a hamster from Jing Ting's friend and Charlynn was very happy. Kids love the new pet and enjoyed playing with it.

On Thursday, we went to DAS for re-assessment of the Child's Dsylexie problem. Charles was really trying to press our buttons and refused to cooperate at first but later on, he became an angel again. The boys were really cooperative and wonderful and I think the father figure is really impt. I cannot act the Dual Role whereby I am also the oen to nurture them and also to discipline them. Joe's presence means I cna be the loving one rather than the mean one.

On Friday, Joe brought the two boys to DAS and the boys had bonding time together. Joe cmae back and fetch us to Woodlands whereby Charlynn has CMA Abacus and I had meeting at Woodlands CC.

On Saturday, we went to have a meal with my Mum-in-law as Joe was going back to Australia. We had porridge at Toa Payoh Garden and we walked in the park. After that, we went shopping for Sunday's BBQ and we watched Toy story 3 together. We had a terrific time together.

This morning, we went to Woodlands Emergency Preparedness day. We had so many tickets that we had a lot of da baos. FEtched mum back home and we made Jiao zi for Lunch. Fun but quite a mess. After that, we started preparing for BBQ dinner. Joe and boys started their fire at around 4 plus and we only managed to BBQ around 6 plus. The only guest today is Van whome we hosted in yr 2001 under the SIF host family programme. Time flies and she is now doing her Ph D too. We ate and chitchat and she made a move at around 8pm as we were sending Joe to airport around 9pm. Boys were so caught up with TV that they did not want to send Joe to the airport. We had some refreshemnt and then Joe sent us to our car. Don't really like the feeling sending him off so he sent us off instead.

Well! Time flies so fast when we are having a good time. The week started with near tragedy with charles episode but ended with a high note. Joe and I are really happy to have the time together. Love having him around to shoulder the pressure of parenting and giving me TLCs when things go wrong. No more long distance longings whereby only can comfort each others by words. Love having a shoulder to lean on, a real body to hug and someone to sa3 jiao1 to.

Well! A family happy together is most important to me. Money is not so important in my life actually. I can survive with minimal wealth but not lack of affections. Kids sometimes can be rather cruel to parents and so having a life partner who is able to support you is the most important.

Thank you Joe for everything! Miss u already....

Don't ruin my days

Yesterday I accidentally scratch my car while going up the slope in my condo. Car hit the side of the wall. Feeling very angry for being so careless.

Been feeling really tired and quite lousy yesterday. Woke up and could not find spectacle so took out the spare one. Felt so uncomfortable wearing it. Drove girl to school and had the little accident. Came back and Channery refused to go child care. I am really feeling very tired and went back to sleep. Woke up at 12 plus and after eating, I went out to spa.

After 3 hrs of pampering myself, I feel much better. Well! Drove to fetch dad and ended up he thought I was not fetching him and he left without me. Drove back home feeling lousy again. At about 8pm, Dad broke his denture and I had to drive him out to the dental clinic. He ended up compplaining the repair cost was too expensive.

Somehow yesterday not my day as I feel so frustrated.

This morning I woke up and sent girl to school. Brought JJ down and we walked along the canal. Happy to be able to sweat a bit.

Boys screaming their heads off again. When can they leave me in peace? Gonna leave negative thoughts and do some postive psychology on self !

Time waits for no man

Time waits for no man. When I was young, I wanted to grow up quickly and do all the things I wanna do when I can control my own life.

Now that I am considered an adult and have many more means than teenage years, I am feeling less in control. No control over what to expect, my health, my family and our loved ones. When one is young, we tend to think we are superhuman, we have the courage and energy to go on and on.

Now that we have more responsibilities and financial means, we tend to think too much and what consequences we have for our actions. Life is no longer simple and carefree.

Mum told brother she does not understand my style of parenting. well! Tell me about it, I also do not understand as well. Do not like violence and definitely taking a humanistic approach. I do believe everyone can change. Not bowing to authority but wanting to change for the better for themselves. I am defintely not a strict parent. I believe in negotiation and some basic rules whereby you do not cause harm to others.

Anyway time waits for no man. Children will grow up so fast they leave u in a wink. Parents will leave you when you do not take note. What we have is present, what is important is the now.

Gonna make time for loved ones more. Listen and be heard. My most impt task in life now is my loved ones. Be truthful and I am glad I am blessed with Joe's support I can be a tai tai!

Feeling better

Feeling better is the new positive thought I gonna adapt. Whenever I feel down, I am going to tell myself things will be better if I feel better. Many a times I feel rather helpless being on my own. I am not like my friends who can live without their partners. I feel that being a couple, we should share our ups and downs together and create memories together along the way. If we live two separate lives and only be there for kids/ family, then I will be really depressed. Joe has been my best advisor on how to live my life, my soulmate when I need some tender loving care, my critics when I do something wrong and of course my fantasy lover.

I know I am not able to live this life if I do not have my life partner with me. Whoever is the one I feel emotionally dependable will receive my wholehearted faithfulness and love. I am really possessive in the sense that whatever is mine, I keep and guard it. Some might say I am too controlling but I so not think so.

Joe told me we should separate ourselves from our kids' lives as I seem to lose control over my emotions whenever the boys did something not to my expectations. Easy said than done. I am always affected by them so easily.

Well! Will tell myself to feel better and think better thoughts rather than thinking myself as useless and cannot achieve much. Just now spent some time swimming with kids and that is also creating wonderful memories. Hope when kids have left our nest, we can look back and laugh at all the silly things that we deem so impt now.

Why fret?

Well! Have my sons changes their behaviours? Nope not yet. Today they still did not make it to school. They actually slept all the whole morning and only woke up at 12pm. I am absolutely clueless what is wrong with them.

The only difference is I did not flare up and blew my top. Maybe I should show support to them of boycotting school and they will feel insecure that mum is not pushing them to go school?

Let they figure it out themselves what is good for them. I will continue to give positive reinforcements to the girls who have been really cooperative and they will see what they have been missing lo.

Nope! I am going to see how things work out for them and not urging them to go school. The ball is now in their court and I have no control whether they wanna serve the ball.

God bless my sons!

After watching happy feet

Happy feet- the story about a penguin who is not like the norm. The show touches my heart as my sons are like that. They have other talents but what they have in people's eyes are ridiculous. I must remind myself to be more supportive rather than condemning them so much. They will be able to shine and contribute in their own ways somehow. Who knows they might be so successful in future that someone might ask them who had helped in moulding them?? I love my sons and really I should support rather than criticise and hurting their tender feelings.

Every child is different and everyone is gifted. Went to Joe's Auntie's funeral wake and chit chat with the cousins. Do we dare to stand up and acknowledge that we have been fantastic parents?

Learning to be parents and I think having faith in your own offsprings and giving them love and self worth as individuals are the most important of all.

My sons may appear clumsy/lousy because I have been doing that - blacken their names and character. I am going to keep reminding myself I have happy feet sons :>

Sons like vampire

My twin sons are like vampire - sucking my blood dry. Really do not know what is wrong with them. They have been skipping school since Monday. Yesterday they went and today again stayed at home.

They give loads of excuses and refused to change into their uniform. Hate thei, hate that, everything is people's fault. They are the victims. We as paretns are not like that why is it we have sons who are like that??????

Many friends and my relatives had said that I have not done enough to help them. Really need to keep everything to myself and not tell others. They simply will not understand what I have gone through.

Actually I feel really sad and blue whenever they do not behave like normal kids. Why is it the girls are able to thrive under my guidance but the boys simply are going the opposite direction? Told Joe they hate the Singapore system so we need to send them back to Australia or enrol them to international schools. this school refusal thing is destroying my relationship with them as well as my self confidence as an able adult. I must confess I sometimes have negative thoughts so often that I had to keep telling myself to go on. Who knows there might be news either twins kill by mum or mum committing suicide on inability to cope with life???

I really see no need to continue to suffer their abuse really. The school has not been helpful. Asking for a Letter of referral is like forever. somehow I am going to send them to child guidance clinic for treatment. Hopefully the professionals will be able to help in getting them to listen.

Feeling Monday blues

Last Saturday I was the MCee for woodlands Zone 11 RC Chinese Dinner Feast. Actually everyone was busy preparing the occasion on Friday night and on Saturday morning. Friday night many helped in decorating the venue and Saturday night we were preparing the mandarin oranges and getting the things ready. For this event, Irene was the most pitiful. She was the one selling most of the dinner tickets at $20 per pax and getting sponsorships for the various things. Nowadays people have all sorts of reasons of not being able to help out. Somehow Lack of trust is a really fact. Actually we are all volunteers so there is really no need to second guess too much. I hope everyone can just give all they can and contribute like before. I was really tired after the event as I have not worn long heels for a really long time and all the standing is really too much for me. Luckily all went okay and we had a lot of fun too.

The next day, members were supposed to gather at 4pm to prepare for the Chinggay float event. My kids were really not cooperative and so I was half an hour late when I arrived. Children played and ran about for a while and the sky suddenly turned dark and it started to rain cats and dogs. Everyone was trapped under the tentage and my two sons could not stopped complaining. In the end, I allowed then\m to be drenched as I had bought some clothes for them to change.

The evening we had some la wei fan. I had cooked it at 2pm and it was kept in the thermal pot. Sons were busy playing and watching the programme after that. The Ching gay processsion was delayed as some of the floats were damaged by the heavy down pour. We ended up waited for a lont time. This year's floats were quite disappointing as they only had 4 floats coming our way. My kids and I were lucky enough to catch 4 other floats while on our way home after the event. Somehow spending so long there is a really big mistake. We only reached home at 11pm and kids only got to bed at 12am.

This morning the boys acted out and refused to go to school. Really angry with them but what can I say? The answer is that the boys will not go out with me again lo. They are now used to sprouting foul languages and even did that in public. Their behaviour is a disgrace to me as well. Fighting and pushing and bickering in public. Really hope to send them abroad as far away from me as possible. Anyone keen on adopting a pair of twins????

Chinese new yr gathering

chinese new year is always a time to catch up on one another's life.On the 30th, I went to woodlands factory tp get the roast products that we had ordered. After that, we went to distribute the items. Glad to be of some service to others so I did not mind helping to order and deliver.

After that, went to mum's place to help her with her cooking. cooked shark fin soup there. I ended up getting mum pigs stomach soup and mixed vegetables back home. cooked a few dishes and I am not so pleased with the out come. While I was busy at mum's place, Joe brought the family to the Da bei yuan temple to pray to our ancestors. they picked up the Poon Choy that I had ordered from Boon Tong kee as well.

When I reached home, I immdeiately set to cook the other dishes that I have decided to cook. I had to cook leeks with bean curd as it is a must to eat. ended up we still have a lot of left overs as the poon choy was already a very big dish to finish.

Yesterday morning, we packed a box of poon choy items and brought it to mum's place. everyone thinks it is quite tasty. Think next yr I will go help to cook and then bring home some and then buy a poon choy again to save trouble. Mum was delighted to see us visitng her in the morning. After that, we fetched mum and then went to visit her brother. Met joe's cousins there and everyone is as usual. glad to see everything in the pink of health.

We left uncle's place at 4 pm so we decided to go to River hong bao. This yr there was nothing to see and taste amd it was quite boring. We ended up paying $50 for uncle ringo's rides there. Each ticket cost $2.50 and each ride needs 3 tickets so each ride is $7.50. Really too expensive but to make our kids happy, we were willing to part with the $50.

We drove to Kitty's place after that. Been a while since we have seen everyone so it is really nice to see everyone. Somehow We are not the only ones to face the challenges of raising kids. Everyone of us are the same. Life is like cooking, I cooked La mei fan and duck with Sun kua to the gathering. Thought the second dish will be okay but it ended up not so popular. This dish needs time and effort to prepare and I did not use enough time to cook it so the vegetables still not tender. S for the la mei fan, differnt ingredients have to be chopped and throw in. the whole cooking process is not too tedious when we have the ready made la wei. Somehow parenting is like cooking a dish, the right ingredients might not end up with a good dish, the time to cook and stew, the right seasoning and stuff and lots of concentration is required.

Love having gathering. Maybe next yr can consider holding a gathering at my place then.

What's up

These few days I have been feeling rather happy as Joe will be returning for chinese New year. All the Chinese New year barang barang have been taken care of so we do not have to worry much.

Boys been quite cooperative lately, We get to school early for the past 2 days. Saturday I refused to bring them to the Rugby lesson so maybe that has helped in their attitude. I must show them I mean what I say.

Sons told me that the school counsellor asked them to go to her room today. She probably did some counselling with them.

This morning I went to Mum's place with Adeline as we wanted to do prawn dates there. Ended up we did not much as mum's blender was broken and we do not want to chop the ingredients with a chopper. At about 11 plus, we drove off to Orchard Hyatt hotel to collect the kuey lapis that Adeline had ordered. somehow it's really funny why people are so keen on the little cake. After that, we drove to her workplace to unload some of the cakes to her colleagues. When we reached Adeline's place, we immediately started to prepare to do the prawn dates. I only did a few as I had agreed to drive my RC Kakis to visit Alex. He has stones in his gall bladder so he has been admitted into Mt Alvernia.

We stayed till about 5 plus and then we sent them back to Rc. I fetched Channery and then drove to fetch the children. Waited quite some time before the kids strolled out of their school. Kids wanted ice cream so I gave them a treat. After that, we had dinner with Adeline, alwin, her mum in law and her sister in law. Adeline was left doing the prawn dates when I left at 3pm so I feel paisay. I paid for the zhu chao and it is not too expensive la. After dinner, we collected the prawn dates from aidi and we went to distribute to elder and second sis.

When we came back, kids still quite cooperative and I feel wuite blessed that they are getting better and better.

Feeling quite happy

This morning sons refused to get ready for school and we left Toa Payoh at abt 6.50am. There was an accident on PIE so we ended up reaching school at 7.30am. Usually without jam, I will be able to send them to school in 20 mins time.

After that, I sent Channery to school and she was so upset that she could not play at the playground for a while. Can't afford to do so as I need to go for Aqua aerobic in yishun swimming complex. Barely made it on time as I still need to change into my swimming costume. The one hour lesson was really fun and I really had a great workout. After taking my bath, I drove to Woodlands CC to meet Irene, Adalene and Mdm Lew. They were helping Alex with the New Yr dinner invitation cards for grassroot leaders. Only took us a while to complete the task. After that, we went for lunch and then proceed to Woodlands Loop Blk 15 to check the the price of Roast goods. Mum wanted to buy for chinese new year and I had promised to get it for her. Been to a few factory and I placed order wtih Kim hock after comparing the prices.

After that, we went to Bengawan Solo factory and I bought a box of sugee cookies. I simply love eating this cookie from Bengawan Solo. After buying the cookies, I dropped Irene and Mdm Lew at Admiralty MRT station as Irene wanted to go bank and I sent Adalene home.

After rushing to Yew Tee, I was still not late and even had some time to clean up the car. This morning I told sons I was not going to fetch them for lunch and they have to take their lunch in school and stay in the library till 3.45pm for their CCA - Rugby. When I fetched charlynn, I found Chantz had left his lunch money and water bottle in the car. In the end, Charlynn had to send it to him then. He is really a very careless boy.

Mum called at that time and asked if I was available to ferry her to Yishun to buy incense for Chinese New year. Told her I could meet her at about 2.30pm. We had our lunch and went to buy bread. Just when we were about to go to the basement carpark, Mum called out to us. She said she came down so we do not have to go upstairs to look for her.

We drove to Yishun and mum really bought a lot of incense. I had to put down my third row of seats to accomodate the items she bought. After buying the things, we drove back to Buangkok and we stayed there till 5.15pm before we went to fetch Channery.

Actually I was really lucky not to receive a parking fine for parking my car illegally outside the child care centre. Luckily we arrived just when the carpark attendant was about to give me a fine. Next time I must make sure one of the kids are there jaga the car.

When we fetched the boys after wards, they were so hungry that they gobbled up the bread we bought for breakfast. After dropping the kids, I stayed to clean up the car. Somehow kids could dirty the car so quickly even though I had done cleaning up in the afternoon. When UI walked back to the block, I found Charlynn, Channery and our dog JJ at the void deck. I left all the bags I was holding and went to the market to buy bread.

When we came back, boys as usual not cooperating and were watching TV. I need to use merit points system so that they can be motivated to cooperate. Fed up with caning and scolding. They will need to want to do the things willingly la.

Okay gotta go as I need to check their bags for whatever.

Been missing

Been missing as I am trying to cope with life's challenges. Boys are a handful and not so keen on learning. Should let them be and let them face the consequences but how to?

Should not complaine about them and look at their strengths but somehow it is so difficult.

Let me go back to workforce and enjoy life earning money rather than staying at home and face the 2 boys. They practically suck blood and I am losing my cool.

I am thinking of sending Charles to Australia for his studies. He can choose to come back for Chinese new yr or not. I will work and send him abroad and won't have to tahan him again. A son that practically drive his mum up the walls is not a good one. Sending him away could be an option for us.

TGIF

Really thank God is Friday. This morning we all tried very hard to wake up. It's been a really busy week. Wednesday morning I fetched my mum from my brother's place. She was staying a few nights at my youngest sis place as her in-laws had to go to Malaysia for their relative's funeral wake. Adeline been down on flu too so mum wanted to help her out looking after Alwin. Thursday we went to Elaine's place as her youngest daughter was sick too and she was at home. It's really good to go visiting as children had a place to stay till it was time to fetch Channery at 5 plus. Yesterday my mum went babysit at Elaine's place early in the morning as Yet Ling was sick. She even brought yet Ling to pray at temple. In the afternoon, Elaine was back and I brought Elaine to the temple to "return" taisui's blessings for the year as she had not done so. Somehow this morning Yet ling was well and able to go to child care.

Yesterday I was really mad with the boys. I took them to beach after Elaine's place and they ended up being naughty. They refused to go even after we went to fetch them twice and told them we were going to be late in fetching Channery. In the end, I left them there and went ahead to fetch Channery and Alwin. By the time I went back they were still watching people on the fishing jetty. They did not even have an idea that they had been abondoned for nearly 20mins. So angry that I drove them back. In the car, I told them if they were really soryy I might forgive them but Charles said he would never say sorry. Ended up they had leftovers for dinner as I was too crossed with them.

This afternoon we went to Adeline's place at 2plus after we had our lunch. Mum had to go checkup at NUH. Luckily the wait was not too long and we managed to fetch kids at 1pm. AFter lunch, we went ot Adeline's she was on MC and staying at home. We only stayed a while and Channery's teacher called to say she was having high fever and we had to go to fetch her back. Came back home and MIL not in. She said she was going to Sima lu guan yin biao for prayers.

At night we had fish porridge and seafood soup. suspected Channery of having Hand foot mouth disease but it was already 8 plus so will have to go tomorrow morning.
Tired after a day's out and MIL still could not stop givin gher five cents coin of thoughts.

Hopefully Channery has not contracted any HFMD as it will be very miserable and painful. that's the price one has to pay when someone else is looking after yr kid.

Charles a dark angel????

These few days passed in a blur. Saturday went to Elaine's place to make sushi. Went shopping in sun's plaza and Sembawang shopping centre. We had a fun day and it stopped me from remembering that Joe was leaving on Sunday night. Sunday woke up quite late. After eating our breakfast, we went to Da Bei yuan to pray to our ancestors. We will not be able to pray on my father-in-law's death anniversary which is on 18th Jan as we will be busy. After that, came home nad made sure kids did all their homwork and get their things ready for Monday school. At 4 plus, we started getting ready to go airport as we were meeting Hong there. ended up late for about 10mins as kids had misplaced the house lock and MIL was caught up looking for it. We had a lovely time and after that Joe sent us off instead at carpark. Felt actually really saddened and my brain was a blank when driving back.

This morning Charles acted up and refused to go to school again. He locked himself up in bathroom and I could not get him to open up. We drove off without him. After that, I was so angry that I decided to change my plan and decided to sign up for yoga at Canberra CC. The instructor was not informed so we hsd to have our lesson next week instead. Good as I had forgotten to wear my yoga pants.

Went to Chongpang to shop around and Joe called to inform me he had arrived safely. Told him about Charles's mischiefs. After shopping, called Hong to meet her at her place. It's really not easy to take care of a baby alone. She is doing great actually and I hope she can join Steve earlier in Vietnam.

At about 12 plus, I drove to Yew Tee. Waitng in the car and I could not stop myself from nodding and wanting to sleep. We waited a long time as Charlynn was held up in class. went to ten mile junction for lunch and bought some groceries. quite a big change in the shopping centre.


After sending Charlynn back to school, Chantz said he wanted to go walking along the canal so I told him to come back at 4pm. The whole 45 mins I was nodding away and feeling hot and sweaty.

Brought Charlynn and Chantz to meet Irene for shopping. Ended up bought a retractable leash for JJ. Fetch channery and teacher commented channery is using both hands and asked if we want to change her to use right hand. She has the tendency to grab things using left hand. How? To change to right hand or not??

Came back and caned Charles 2 times on hand and he ran off and scolded me using foul language. God help me pls. I think with son like that I will go crazy and do silly things one day.

Feeling great now

This morning children were really well-behaved and we reached school happily. After that we took Channery to food court as she won't be ahving lunch with us. In the end, she did not eat any of the food. When we sent her into the child care centre, she was waving goodbye and crying at the same time. She went in willingly with tears rolling down her cheeks. What a sight and that really saddens me a bit.

Sent Joe to Keypoint at Lavander to meet Financial advisor. I was not happy to do so and I had a feeling that I was being threatened. Felt really rotten and insecure of him having a close relationship with the lady. After I reached Northpoint half an hour later, I sms him to tell him what I felt and requested him to find a male financial advisor. Well! he did not heed my advice and my sixth sense is usually never wrong. He will bear all consequences if I am not happy with the arrangement. Being vey controlling in him socializing? Actually I am okay with him talking with women but this particular one I am just not comforatable. The emails and background and etc aimply not what I can accept. Why my husband is so stubborn and refused to listen to my gut feeling???

After applying a u-plus debit card at OCBC bank, I went to RC. My Rc friends were there. Irene trying to help settle Mdm Wong's granddaughter who refused to attend playgroup and Mdm lew waiting for her. They helped one another and supported one another along the way. That was really nice. Joe came later and we drove off to fetch the kids. Guess what? My boys received a sound scolding from me again. They had the habit of buying sweetened drinks and made us wait at the carpark. Told them they should not drink so much sweeented drinks but they simply won't heed our advice. Well! Having diabetes will be horrible. Called up an ex colleague and she was diagnosed with it and now must take medication. She has High BP, high cholestrol and now disbetes. Our health is really most impt and healthy habits should start form young. Gonna bring my kids to do regular workout so that they will not develop any illneses.

Feeling rather contented after talking to friends and they really helped me to make a decision to be a happy SAHM.

Well! Thank God Joe is doing well and I can afford to do what I want.

count my blessings?

This morning I went for medical checkup after dropping the kids for school. Channery was alright and only cried a little. we picked her up at 4 plus and I then realized that she had been missing her Chinese lessons. Teacher informed me that she has her lessons till 5pm so I should not pull her out too early. If that is the case, I have to find ways to keep my 3 older kids occupied till we picked her up at 5pm. What a long day for me.

As for the checkup, its a two yrly free medical checkup by Prudential called the prusmart lady. Love the idea of having a checkup every 2 yrs. My "machine" is really getting on age and really need to take good care of it. Ended up I had high blood pressure readings and might have to take medication. she told me to cut down weight and exercise and do a blood pressure test again 2 wks later. Well! I was fasting and headache came probably due to low blood sugar. I had high BP whenever I had tension headache. Anyway will check again in 2 wks time.

After checkup, I called up an old friend and she told me she was in bad shape. An old injury now caused her to suffer from numbness and she could not walk properly. Now undergoing physiotherapy. She is really a good friend and still so positive about her condition. Will have to start taking care of myself too.

Fetch kids from school and went for lunch. After that went shopping before sending Charlynn to school to perform her buddy system duties. She was really happy to be of service to the P1. Joe came to join us after his lunch date with his ex-teacher and ex-secondary classmate. Now his classmate is working as a cancer specialist/oncologist in SGH. Does that mean being in a good secondary school means you will have friends likely to make it in life? Well! I have no contacts with my secondary school friends so who knows what they are doing now!

Btw I am most angry with the Australia's shipping company. Joe called them up to check on our shipment and guess what? My items still in sydney and it has been one and a half months since we sent them into the container. Wonder when I will receive my things!!!!

Joe leaving in a few days time and I am not very keen on the idea of dealing with kids on my own.However, Charles been real good today. Joe's friend commented he could find school bored as he is not intellectually challenged. Therefore, maybe there's hope and I should count my blessing that he is in good health rather than feeling frustrated that he is not doing what he had been told.

First few days of school

The first day of school was raining heavily. PIE was jammed and actually there was a few accidents along the way. Luckily we all managed to reach school on time even though there was a jam around the school's vicinity. After that, send channery to child care and Joe stayed around an hour with her. I went "La kopi" with Irene. She did not eat anything as she has a lunch date with Ms Sim.

We went to the chinese temple near yishun swimming pool to "huan tai sui" mum said to do so before Christmas but I forgot. Well! Late is better than never so we went ahead. Need to pray to tai sui again next yr. Next year's pig, tiger, snake and monkey need the tai sui special protection and have to go pray for my mother, my mum-in-law and Charlynn.

After that, we went to fetch kids from school. They were excited for the first day of school and of course we gave them a special treat to Swensons.Fetch Channery and she seems okay in her new school.

Second day of school and Channey was saying she did not want to go to school already. We ended up carrying her into car and managed to get there early. After dropping the 3 elder kids, I went to channery's school and stayed there with her since Joe has to go back to LTA. I stayed for 3 hrs and was afraid that the carpark attendant would give me a fine since I only paid for an hour. Luckily no summon and I drove to Chongpang to register for my yoga class.

This morning, Charles threw tantrum and refused to got to school. He locked himself in toilet and refused to cooperate. He only open the door and went next door to the bathroom as his granny wanted to use toilet. He said many things and really could not tahan him. We ran out of time so we left without him and drove the other 3 to the school. 20mins drive and we promised ourselves not to get too mad with him. We dropped Charlynn and Chantz and then came back for him. Ended up had to pay ERP as we just exceeded 2 mins. 7.32am and ERP strarted at 7.30am. Came back and my stupid boy still in bathroom and refused to come out. We talked and tried to get him out but no avail. Left at about 8 plus and sent Channery to Woodlands then. I drove off to chongpang for my yoga class and Joe sent her in and walked out. She was okay when we fetched her at lunch time. Tomorrow we will have to fetch her later so hopefully she will be alright.

Told Joe we will give the good behaved kids a treat but there was no time slot for good movie. Ended up we came back early and I had my beauty nap. The yoga session was fun and not difficult and I enjoyed myself. I can feel some of my muscles aching but that is natural la.

Tomorrow will be another day. Charles had done his school homework. Hopefully he will go to school tomorrow. God bless me pls!

Back home in Singapore

It has been 2 weeks and yet the feeling of coming back is not too great. The first few dasy we settled the school, uniform, car, books etc. Whatever that needed taken care of was taken care with ease. We even had time to visit the goat's farm and had our share of goat's milk. We visited Science Centre and became a member too. Yesterday we made time to visit Singpaore Discovery Centre and we even won a granddprize of $500 jetstar travel voucher. they even took a picture of the whole family. Loved the 3D Movie that came with the admission ticket most.

After the trip we went to Tan chin's place for a gathering. She is doing well and expecting number 2. Time flies and everyone has changed quite a bit. At least we are all parents now and thinking wise we are more parents-minded.

Been visiting Hong and baby. Seeing others with their babies really quite interesting. Really do not wnat to have another one since I have my hands full with my 4 kids. Just yestrerday I caned Charles so hard and I did not regret a bit. He made me so mad by locking himself in the room after I threw away his ice. He got it hard actually because I am transfering my anger towards my Mum in law towards him too. Somehow I really have to hand it to my MIL of the ability to make me a mad cow in a China shop.

Joe will be leaving on 10th Jan and I will be alone handling the kids. these few days we were practising to wake up at 6am and the 3 younger kids did not cooperate. They still try to get back to sleep after we woke them up. Channery is esp not keen in going to the new school. God must bless me in this department as my kids can be more stubborn than me!

Any idea how life going to be like? Well! we visited the Singapore MArina Barage yesterday and seems like everywhere, everyone is busy - busy in trying to fit in and doing what others are doing. lots of people trying to find a piece of land to call it their own. As for the singapore Flyer, its nice to be high up seeing a good view - some views are spectacular, others are not as good. However, everyone of us will come down to the surface eventually so there is actually nothing to compete or compare!

Am I going back to Workforce? Actually I must keep on telling myself I need to stay firm with my decision to be a SAHM. If I work, my kids will become " orphans" as I really have no energy and time for them.

People are our most valued assets and it's likewise in my family. I will have to master the techniques in flying a kite - when to let go and when to pull back.

Is it good to be back? Maybe , maybe not... the future is yet to be seen....